Trapped In Love
by Crazyfangirl23
Summary: Clara and John want to settle down and have a family, and everything seems to be heading the right direction. Yet John's teenage daughter Katie wants nothing more than to prevent these things from happening.
1. Chapter 1

I'm sorry if this is crap

Trapped In Love

Chapter 1

She watched on with as much boredom as she was to expect in this class. She could feel her eyelids almost starting to droop as she observed the clock. 10 minutes. Her hand absent-mindedly doodled on her blank and empty writing book. She never did any work, it was a waste of time. Her hand cupped her cheek impatiently while her eyes wandered to the rows of other people writing or talking. She neither lifted a finger nor spoke to anyone and she didn't see how the structure of a paragraph could ever be useful in her life. She willed time to go faster so she could finally go to lunch and her stomach rumbled hungrily at the thought. She stared moodily at the woman sitting at her desk, marking books with a concentration she certainly lacked. She hated her and her stupid English lessons. Everything about the teacher annoyed her, but mostly for other reasons. She was Miss Oswald, and she was currently living at her house.

As soon as they had moved, her father had settled as another English teacher at her school and not long after he was seeing another teacher. Everyone found out, even now sometimes they would take the mick, which was absolutely fine because she did too. They were such an awkward pair. She glared at the woman who had ruined everything. Her life, her education, her dad, her sanity. Why her father was so attracted to her she had no idea. She was only a pretty face. The rest of her personality was as dull as her subject.

Her dad was the poetry and art teacher, Doctor John Smith. And she had every day since regretted ever moving here. Her father being her teacher had been embarrassing enough, but then going on to literally dating her other teacher was just plain humiliating and extraordinarily wrong. A wound to her pride.

She watched as Clara Oswald tucked her hair behind her ear and shifted in her seat, still writing furiously. She remembered when she had moved in, around a year after they had settled. It had come as a shock when her dad told her he was dating her, but that shock had been an understatement when he had then announced she was moving in. She remembered feeling almost pushed aside, cheated and wishing she lived with her mother. All her stuff had moved in with her, her books and horrible curtains and ugly dresses. There were now two women in his life and she had absolutely hated how Clara had him wrapped so easily round her fingers. He acted like a teenager around her, forgot he had ever been with her mum and sometimes forgot she was there too. She knew he didn't mean to, but when he was with Clara it was like he was under hypnosis. She wouldn't be surprised if that was the case, if she had put him under a spell like a witch. She certainly was a witch, alright. Liked to think she was so damn perfect every time she defended her to win her approval. But that would never happen.

She was suddenly woken from her thoughts by the bell ringing and with a relieving sigh she scrambled out of her seat to collect her bag. As they filed out one by one she glimpsed that same sickening smile on her face she had to bear with everyday. As if on cue she directed it at her but she walked briskly away and toward the canteen, waving away her previous musings and focusing instead on the food ahead of her.

Another tiresome lesson later and she made her way to Clara's office. She was amazed how she of all people had her own office and not her father, he deserved to be the head of English, not her. As she walked in and sat down she once again wished she could just walk home with her friends like any other person would. Having to wait for both of them every day just so she could get home was wearisome at best. They both took so long too, but she had no choice. There were no buses round her area remotely near her school and it was too far to walk. At least they had permission to do all of their work at home rather than stay later. That would have killed her. Clara entered with a flustered smile in greeting and gathered up her paperwork, and John walked in a moment later with his usual perky grin, kissing Clara's cheek while she made a face of disgust. It had been her default for the past six months they had been together.

'You okay, Katie?'

She nodded in reply to her father's usual question and rose to her feet to start walking to the car park. She didn't like the way the grounds looked so deserted without the rush of people walking home, and it was something she had missed. She put her headphones on and music filled her ears as Clara pulled out of the drive. She never liked listening to their sappy conversations, but unfortunately she could still see. John was holding Clara's free hand, talking with an adoring smile and she stared at their intertwined fingers. It was embarrassing and nauseating to her stomach, but that's how they mostly were, with their cheesy, romantic, lovey behaviour that put bile in her throat. The journey was even longer than usual from traffic and every time they stopped she could see Clara laughing at something he'd said and him inching closer with every minute. They didn't break hands until they parked in the driveway and got out of the car. It bothered her particularly that they held hands, which was not so much an intimate gesture, but that intention of holding on and never letting go, like they were inseparable, bonded, tied, was something she feared with their relationship. They were getting closer and soon it would culminate to something bigger if she wasn't careful. When John instinctively followed Clara to the kitchen, she raced upstairs like normal and shut the door behind her. She didn't want to see nor hear them, just in case she threw up.

••••

'How are you, then? Good day?'

'Stressful day.' She remarked, stirring in the spices to the pan of stir fry. John's hands wrapped round her waist tightly and his chin rested on her shoulder.

'I can help with that.' He smiled, kissing the side of her neck consolingly.

Clara was slowly becoming distracted from cooking and revelling in his soft touch. He could her soothe her so easily.

'What was so stressful, then?' He asked. John always persisted and tried to help with any problem she had. It was one of the things she loved about him.

'Everything. Mostly just being in the same building and not being able to be near you all the time,' She laughed, 'I could use the company in class.'

'Ah, you can't get enough of me.'

'Don't start getting cocky.'

'Of course not.' He grinned, 'where's Katie?'

'Probably in her bedroom.'

'She's always in there.'

'I know.'

'Why?'

'If I knew, I could tell you, John.'

'It's like we hardly ever see her except in school and at breakfast.'

'Maybe you could start making her come down at dinner rather than disappearing upstairs. But she's a teenager, John, she has her own things to do, she probably prefers her own privacy. It's only to be expected.'

'I have been thinking lately, though,' he continued, pressing harder against her shoulder as if he was physically weighed down with his problem, 'am I doing anything wrong?'

Clara laughed at his question, rubbing his shoulder in reassurance.

'Of course not, it's me she doesn't like.'

'I don't understand why, you're beautiful.' He grinned, holding her even closer to him.

'Stop it, you're hair's going to go into the stir fry in a minute, and you'll be the one eating it.'

He chuckled adorably at her humorous reply, making her smile.

'What's for after?'

'You always want a dessert, don't you?' She said, 'but I was thinking of making soufflé.'

'Yum.'

'Help me with it, won't you?'

'Why wouldn't I? You're the great soufflé girl.'

She spluttered. 'Really? Well then, if I'm your soufflé girl that must make you my chin boy.'

'Oi, what is wrong with my chin?'

'Careful, dear, you'll take someone's eye out.'

He grumbled but continued to joke around with her. She loved how easy he was to talk to. He hardly let go of her the whole time she was preparing dinner, but having him there by her side was always immensely comforting.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The next morning Katie reluctantly crawled out of bed and stumbled down the stairs tiredly to the kitchen. John was cooking breakfast and greeted her with a smile she returned lazily back. Clara was there drinking a cup of tea at the table while reading another one of her crappy Jane Austen novels. She sat down opposite her and John served her with a fry up, to her jovial pleasure. He always knew breakfast was her favourite meal and ensured she got exactly what she craved that morning.

Watching Clara disdainfully she noticed no plate in front of her and smirked.

'Are you seriously missing out on dad's fry ups?'

She looked up from her book but John answered for her.

'Clara's already had hers.'

Of course she had. Clara Oswald didn't wait for anyone.

As she tucked into her bacon she noticed Clara was suddenly now at John's side. She glared at the pair as he decided to slip his hands round her waist while she talked and suddenly she didn't feel as ravenous as she had a few moments prior. He kissed her neck and with a face of revolt she wondered if women really enjoyed that. It seemed like a weird gesture, to kiss someone's neck, but human behaviour had always been strange. She didn't know since she wasn't exactly a magnet for the guys, and she didn't want to be, either. In fact, she was sure that just from her father's actions she'd stay away as far as possible. She just wished they didn't have to do it every second of the day, especially at breakfast. She was disgusted by their behaviour, thoroughly cringed out. He continued to smile at her like she was a goddess, which bothered her. As Clara walked away he started playing around with her, being so foolish and idiotic she almost wanted to leave her fry up and walk away. Every caress, every kiss, every smile and flirt caused something of a riot inside her mind as she finished her food as fast as she could.

When she came back down dressed in uniform and itching to get into the car with her headphones she observed that nothing had changed. John was still chasing and teasing Clara in that overly cheesy way people would find cute in a romance film.

'Are we going yet?' She called impatiently. Her father looked up at her like he was surprised she was even there.

'We were waiting for you.' He opposed, making her grit her teeth and clench her fists in anger because it was always that typical answer from the adult which made it seem like it was her fault.

'Oh, sure.' She muttered darkly. Why did everyone take it out on teenagers? The honest truth was that adolescence was the age most vulnerable and in need of comfort and nicety, and yet her father was just like the rest of them; oblivious to those frequent bipolar mood swings uncontrollable in their nature.

Her musings ended as soon as he had finally let go of the girl and they opened the door. Another long day of school and staring into the spiritless faces of her teachers that were also her guardians. It was like transporting from one prison cell to another. That was her life.

She was probably being unfair, she loved her father; but it seemed she hated a lot more things than she liked at the moment, and Clara certainly didn't improve the mood. A long sigh as she leaned against the seats and drowned out the noise of humanity.

•••

Clara snuggled up to him further, nuzzling her nose against his chest and closing her eyes. She could almost hear the faint fluttering of his heart underneath his t-shirt, and she smiled peacefully as his arms came to wrap themselves fully round her, locked in position. There was a silence that settled calmly over them, and all around. She couldn't be sure how much time passed but all she concentrated on was the warmth and safety she felt whilst under his embrace. Her brain was in that sleepy state of no noise and no sound, and she probably would have fell asleep if it weren't for an awakening thought. After a moment, her eyes opened, and a rumination struck her, about how much she loved him and their plans they were still to finalise. But all of those unfinished promises started to invade her mind skeptically in a torrent of questions. Clara started to reflect on everything they were trying to do and weren't, and it made her feel almost empty inside. Suddenly she wasn't in any sort of tranquil state and a light frown replaced her smile. She knew she was ready, she knew he was. But there seemed to be something standing in the way, like an invisible barrier they couldn't climb over. John was oblivious to her heavy ponderations and it was only when her head lifted to stare at him that he too opened his eyes. It seemed he hadn't gone to sleep either. Clara briefly wondered what he was thinking before he gave an amiable smile.

'John...I keep thinking...It might be a bit too soon, I don't know, but I've just realised how much I want to be with you fully and I kind of miss all the plans we had.'

It took him a while to comprehend what she was saying, blinking a few times before he answered.

'I do too. But I haven't told her about it yet.'

'What? John, I thought she knew! Why didn't you tell her?'

'I...I don't know, I just couldn't.'

'You proposed 4 months ago.'

'I know, and I don't regret it for a single second,' he smiled, making her beam in return, 'but we've just been too busy, and the time's gone by so fast, I can barely keep up. I want to plan with you, Clara, I want to spend days looking at dresses and flowers and decorations and I would do it all in the next month if I could but we've all got so little time and everything. Trust me, I desire to marry you as soon as possible, but when we can afford it. I mean, we are saving up, so at least we have a head start.'

She nodded understandingly. 'I feel the same.'

'Plus, I still need to buy you that ring,' he grinned. She chuckled, shuffling forward and closer to him, softly stroking his floppy hair.

'And I will tell Katie, I promise.' He added sincerely.

'Maybe I'm just being impatient, after all, most people stay engaged for years.' she laughed.

'Hopefully we won't have to wait that long.'

That twinkle in his eye was winking at her and she couldn't suppress an affectionate smile.

'I think I'm just anticipating it so much I want it to happen right now.'

'So do I. And I want everything with you, Clara, I told you that the day I proposed. I want it as much as you do.'

'You want a family?'

'Of course I do.' he said.

For a second she considered him, his sincerity never wavering, and she knew in that moment that he wasn't saying it to distract her. He meant it all, and that was commitment she never thought she'd see in a man, which influenced her next decision.

'I do too.'

'There's something that doesn't need much planning, then.' He said, voice thick with mirth.

She raised her eyebrows at his reply, bearing down on him as he chuckled mischievously.

'Well, I'm sure there's enough time for that.'

'There better be.' He murmured.

Lips collided and his arms enveloped her once again as she finally fell flat against him, cupping his cheek and softly brushing his tongue with hers. John closed his eyes for a moment, sinking deeper into the pillows as he let himself become prey to her touch. She could feel how aroused he was becoming and kissed him harder, letting his hands roam her body leisurely. Fingers threaded through his silky hair, foreheads touching as both recovered for air, until John caught her lips again and she hooked her legs round his waist. Her hands were soon slipping beneath his t-shirt to feel the skin underneath, rubbing and caressing and fondling until he tugged it off and she could fully explore the expanse of his chest, slender and slightly toned. He smiled as she impatiently pulled off her own top to reveal her bra underneath. Clara took his shorts off him and could tell he was getting harder. John kissed her with a burning ferocity and her body took control of her mind, acting of its own accord while she melted into his kiss. But suddenly noise erupted in a burst of guitars and drums and interrupted them. Breaking off, they stared at each other and then to the wall, where Katie's bedroom was. Clara was breathless, on top of him, and John looked slightly angry, his forehead creased in frustration. She climbed off him, still staring at the wall accusingly, at the source of the music. The screaming, obscene lyrics had started by the time John walked over to the wardrobe, wrapping his dressing gown round himself and striding out before she could protest.

••••

Katie could hardly sleep, disturbing herself with her own intruding thoughts that she wished she could dispel. She usually suffered from insomnia, which made it no surprise, but it was still aggravating when she couldn't even control her musings and simply drift off to sleep. However, this time, it came in useful for her. The only downside was she got even more infuriated.

Her head rested against her uncomfortable pillow, staring intensely at a spot in the darkness, every situation and account of her day being replayed in her head, every problem being resurfaced and her conscience whispering things. And then she heard talking through the ridiculously paper thin walls, and despite needing sleep desperately, her curiosity got the better of her. Moving her head closer to the wall, she could make out a few words, Clara and her father talking. She wrinkled her nose at the sound of her voice. It had apways an hours her immensely. They continued and she listened on drowsily, until her eyes widened and heart beat hard and painful inside her ribcage at one particular statement.

'You proposed 4 months ago.'

The sentence swam round her head dizzyingly, her mouth physically falling open. Her father had proposed, they were engaged, and he hadn't even had the guts to tell her. Clara was marrying her father. The sentence repeated itself inside her mind, the enormity of what she'd just heard hitting her and she realised she would become her stepmother. And although she played the cruel, fairytale part perfectly, it still made her feel queasy at the thought of Clara's shrill voice telling her what to do like she was her mother. It was as if she was amidst a nightmare and yet she knew she was wide awake. Katie listened on furiously to all their mushy conversation, and then her father told Clara he wanted a family, and the pounding of her heart increased further. It was even harder to take than the first part, especially as she wasn't even mentioned, wasn't even thought of, like she didn't exist.

Katie didn't know what to think, whether to be upset or angry. He had made it sound as if she had no opinion or control over the matter. that they would be starting a family and getting married without even considering her feelings. Like they were a happy couple in their own independent world, and she wasn't in it. It was getting harder to concentrate on what they were saying, but finally her ears burned bright red at their increasingly flirtatious tones and she knew what would be coming. Her face smothered her pillow in temper, trying desperately to block out every sound from the opposite room. She was so ragingly mad, smoke could have been coming out of her ears. Sitting up in bed, going through everything that had been said, every vengeful emotion she possessed inside of her, and making a decision, she grabbed her TV remote. In blind fury she scrolled down her list of artists saved and played her favourite heavy metal song on the highest volume possible. A wicked smile appeared on her face when she heard the commotion from the next room stop suddenly. As the singer started to scream, she began to sing the inappropriate lyrics along with them.

'That's what I think of you.' She smirked, accompanied by a string of curse words. She heard footsteps and laid back down on her bed, crossing her arms underneath her head relaxedly, and smiled. Her father burst in, a frenzy of disbelief and anger riddling his face. He was breathing heavily, staring at her for a second until he took her remote and turned the song off. Katie only looked up at him coolly, which seemed to madden him more. What could she say, she had a natural talent for making people furious.

'What the hell are you doing?' He demanded, and Katie knew he very nearly swore in his irritation. Which was rare, for her father, but not impossible. She continued to look up at him innocently, not saying a word, but observing the dishevelled hair and the dressing gown thrown haphazardly around himself, which made her revolt in disgust.

'It's the middle of the bloody night! Why did you turn your damned music on? Disturbing us, probably disturbing the whole street too! What are you thinking?'

'I couldn't get to sleep.' She said simply.

'What, and you thought by putting on heavy metal you would magically drift off to sleep? Don't be stupid, Katie.' He scolded.

She hated it when adults said that. 'Oh, don't be stupid, the joke's on you, don't play dumb,' all the bullshit parents spew out of their mouths infuriated her.

'Look, I don't mind you listening to music with your headphones if you can't fall asleep, but putting on loud, noisy music when we're all trying to sleep is damn rude. I care about your problems with insomnia and that you can't settle properly, but that's just being senseless and ridiculous.'

He was pulling the teacher act. Of course he was. She didn't retaliate and knew, to her satisfaction, that she was annoying him more than she would have if she had shouted at him.

'Do it again, and there'll be consequences.' He warned, and stalked back out of the room. She smiled triumphantly to herself, finally turning over and pulling the duvet up to her chin. She listened intently once more, but no sound came from their room. They must have really gone to sleep this time. While her small victory had raised her spirits a little, she still couldn't shake what had happened and formulated what seemed like a good plan of action of her own. They wanted marriage and a family? She'd make it impossible, she'd make it hell, she'd prevent anything from happening. And she would make sure all of their free time was used up and wasted.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

When Katie woke up the next morning, she hadn't forgotten about what she'd promised herself. She was still flaming mad from everything she had found out about, but at least they didn't know she knew. She could play that to an advantage. And her father, despite brilliant, was weak. He couldn't even give her a punishment for something she actually and rightfully deserved. One sight of a crying child and he was helpless. That was her dad.

Although walking down the stairs and seeing Clara's face made the urge to slap her even more appealing. It was certainly worse than usual seeing her, since she had found out about all their little plans and schemes, how she was seducing him, playing him. It made her insides bubble at the thought. Yet all she had to do was stop her. And she had total confidence she could do it. Katie carried that with her, trying not to think about any rings appearing on Clara's fingers or bumps covering her stomach.

As she sat down at the table the first thing she noticed was the awkwardly intense and cold atmosphere, and she guessed her father was still angry. 'Well, good,' she thought, tucking into her toast, because she was definitely still angry in return. But deep down, it had affected her pride, hurt her feelings just a little, because she wasn't entirely an emotionless rock. Despite disapproving anyway, the sophisticated, adult thing they should have done was talk to her, at least. But they couldn't even have been bothered to do that.

Clara and John kept glancing at each other while she ate and drank her tea in ignorance. It was an act she put on well, so well that neither of them said a word to her.

'It's time to go.' He said quietly, checking his watch and placing his hands on the woman's shoulders just briefly. Clara stood, fussing with his tie and making him smile again.

'Katie.' He called, looking over at her. She pretended not to notice as she glared down at her phone.

'Katie.' He repeated, this time a lot firmer.

'What?' She answered lazily, refusing to make eye contact.

'I'm going out for an old friends birthday tonight, so I won't be home until late.'

'Alright.'

'Did you just hear what I said?' He asked.

'Yes! I said 'alright.' She gave him a glare he rightly deserved. She swore some people didn't listen.

'Right, good.' He emphasised, and then turned to Clara.

'Will you be alright?' He whispered quietly to her.

'Yeah, of course.' She replied.

Katie tried to keep in a sigh of vexation. What he meant was 'are you going to be okay handling my teenage daughter for a night?'

'Wait there, I just need my bag.' He excused himself and Clara fiddled nervously with her hair. Katie could tell she was feeling uncomfortable after last night. She damn well should be, too.

When he finally reappeared, she swallowed down the rest of her tea and collected her own bag. With jubilance, she realised that her plan was being put into action already; Clara and John were already spending an evening part, and Katie felt a lot safer and relaxed knowing it. It seemed the stars were in her favour tonight.

Thankfully she didn't have to endure any lessons with either of them, and hardly saw them around school, for a change. It was something she couldn't stand, seeing her father there while she was with her friends. More than once Clara had to tell her off for swearing, which only made her feel belittled in front of everyone. She would always joke about them behind their backs to her friends, and they particularly enjoyed hearing about all the embarrassing and annoying things they did at home. Katie was happy to deliver. Finally the bell rung to signal the end of another long day and with dread she walked over to Clara's office once again. It would be only them all afternoon and evening, and she vowed if she even tried to act friendly with her she was entitled to physically push her away. Katie knew she would drive her crazy and hoped for as much peace as she could get it. The only upside was her father's interferences were no longer present.

They didn't make any conversation on the way home, a silent car ride more than comfortable to Katie. She raced off to the safety of her bedroom, and stayed there. However, boredom overcame her as it usually did, and with a meddling grin she wondered what would happen if she caused just a tiny bit of frustration on Clara's part. Would she shout at her? Would she get annoyed? Katie was eager to find out.

Creeping down the stairs she spotted her sitting at the table while something bubbled in a pan. She was focusing on her laptop, possibly doing work.

'What are we having for tea?'

Clara looked up, nearly looking surprised at her sudden appearance. She usually left them alone.

'Casserole. Is that alright?'

'Yeah.'

She looked pleased she was actually cooperating with her. Not for long, though. Katie rounded the table to her side, observing the powerpoints and words she had open, staring bitterly at all the boring lessons she was planning.

'What lessons are you doing?'

'Your year and my year 11's.'

'Why can't we do something fun?' She pressed.

'Because you have to learn what you need to.'

'But it's all just writing and analysing and structures of paragraphs. Can't you make it more interactive?'

'How? This is the curriculum, Katie, I can't make it any more fun that it's supposed to be. There are certain things you need to learn about each lesson and time would be wasted.'

'Yeah, but it would keep more students awake.' She pressed.

'That's their choice. I'm just here to teach them how to pass their GCSE's.'

'Its stupid, though. You're the head of English, can't you just change a few things?'

'Just because I'm head of English, it doesn't mean I can just change the GCSE course, Katie.'

'Why isn't dad the head of English, then? He would have made things more interesting. I don't get how you make more money than him, anyway.'

She was pressing buttons now, coming dangerously close to making her cheeks turn red. Katie smiled challengingly at her reaction.

'Because I've been there longer, I guess. He's also an art teacher, it would probably be too much to handle. And I don't really care how much money I make, whether it's more or less than him, it pays for everything just the same.'

Clara's tone had become a little harder, firmer, rougher. Katie couldn't describe how much fun it was to rile her up.

'Yeah, but he works harder than you, doesn't he? Like you said, art, English, two subjects and five classes to plan for each. I mean, that surely should deserve more money.'

'Yes, it should.'

She was now reacting just as she had planned, redder cheeks, no eye contact. Trying to ignore the comment about working harder.

'What I don't understand, though,' she carried on, enjoying how she was winding her up so much, 'is all your combined money, it must make quite a fair amount. Enough at least for this house, even though it's quite big. And enough for all the bills, and food. You must have enough left, you know? I was just thinking, where does all that extra money go?'

She had surely struck a nerve, as Clara rose from her seat and went round to the pot of casserole still on the stove to avoid her question. Katie followed her round.

'What does it go toward?' She asked again.

'We don't get much left, Katie, probably not as much as you think. And we don't keep it all for ourselves, we spend it on extra food sometimes, or clothes or expenses. I mean, your father's spending some right now on his night out. So it goes on all sorts of things.'

It was a good answer, but just not good enough to convince her. Katie knew exactly where the saved money was going.

'I don't think so.'

'Excuse me?'

'Its not just random things, is it?' She retorted, her voice rising in all the sudden, renewed anger she felt. Katie was almost shouting at the bewildered woman, letting her irritation grow.

'You're saving up for your stupid wedding plans and babies and everything you fucking want!' She exclaimed, her face now red instead, her pent up rage being released on a scale even surprising for her.

Clara only stood there, frozen, shocked and looking a little guilty. Her eyes were wide and no response came from her, not even comprehending her unintentional swearing. For a moment Katie was unsure of what she would do, but prepared herself for a retaliation of shouting.

Instead, Clara continued to stand there, shocked, before expression came back to her and she unexpectedly walked out of the room without a single word. Katie stood there, breathing heavily. But she knew she had more than shaken her up, and for that she granted herself a devilish smile. She would have liked a shouting match, but the result was just as rewarding to her. Serving up her own plate of casserole, she finally disappeared back upstairs and never saw Clara again that evening.

••••

Clara finally heard the door open, looking immediately to her right, where John entered with a drunken smile on his face. For the past few hours she had sat there waiting, staring at random spots and dazing off. She had tried to watch TV and reading her book, but her mind couldn't settle.

John turned to her, walking over to sit down by her side. Just from kissing him she could tell he had had a considerable amount to drink. Clara briefly wondered if he would even be able to listen properly to her or whether she should tell him the next day. But it was bothering her too much to wait.

'John.' She said, getting him to concentrate a little more. She withdrew from yet another attempt to touch her, but at last he seemed to click.

'Yeah?' Suddenly his eyes refocused on her face, detecting the sort of poignant disappointment in her eyes.

'What's wrong?' He rephrased, now a trifle more concerned.

'Katie found out about...everything.' She emphasised. John looked momentarily confused but quickly understood.

'I think she heard our conversation last night. It's why she turned the music on, to distract us. We had a bit of an argument about it.' She sighed.

'Wait, what did she say to you?'

'She said something about how we were saving up for our plans and things. It wasn't so much a personal attack as it was trying to get at me. She just hates me, fact.'

'Oh, god,' he said, his head falling in shame, 'do you think I should talk to her about it?'

'I think the damage is done. John,' she replied, standing up, 'she shouldn't have found out that way, that was harsh. I knew you should have told her earlier!'

'I couldn't, Clara! If you were so worried about it, why didn't you tell her yourself?'

She snorted. 'You think she would have wanted me to tell her we were engaged?'

'I'm sorry, Clara, I am. You shouldn't have had an argument about it, and I apologise if you were shouted at or insulted, that's just Katie's way.'

'I'm not blaming Katie.'

'Look, she needs time to adjust, and I know I failed in telling her, but-'

'You're not listening, are you? I said she found out about everything, not just our engagement. She heard us saying we wanted a family of our own, John. That couldn't have helped at all, and I feel so guilty about it. I don't care if she shouted at me, she had good reason to!'

'Clara, why are you defending her?'

'Why aren't you? You're her father!'

He sighed. 'We're doing all of it anyway, she can't stop it from happening. I love Katie more than anything, but she will just have to face up to it.'

'I don't think you're being reasonable,' she argued, arms folded in objection, 'maybe you should go to bed, you're drunk and you're not making any sense.'

'I'm not drunk! Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I know this has all gone badly and I will make up for it, just don't stay mad at me!'

His helpless, endearing face, one look in his eyes and she couldn't help softening her voice a fraction. He slowly moved toward her, taking her arms in his.

'I will talk to Katie, I'll explain everything and I'll apologise, I promise.'

'That's better.' She muttered.

'I know Katie is hard to get on with, I know how you must be feeling, for making her so angry. Maybe we can get her to lighten up a bit, get you two bonding. Maybe we can ease her into this thing, gradually.'

His arms snaked round her waist and she held onto his shoulders.

'What do you suggest?'

He paused, as if he was deliberating really to say it or not.

'Camping trip?'

Clara laughed in response, and John raised his eyebrows.

'What's wrong with that?'

'You think we'll bond over camping?' She giggled.

'Well, not really camping, camping. We'd be staying in a caravan for a few nights. Just a small break, you know? It would be nice to get out of here for a while.'

'You really would have to talk that over deeply with Katie.' She said, continuously laughing.

'Why?'

'You don't have a clue, do you? A teenager without wifi is like a fish out of water, John. You'll have to persuade her heavily to even consider going. I mean, what would Katie even enjoy out there?'

'I don't know, it's just a break. I used to always love staying in a caravan when I was young boy.'

'That, darling, was the 90's.' She told him, pecking his lips briefly.

'Yeah, but everyone of all ages should love a caravan. I'm sure we can find ways to entertain ourselves.'

'Persuade her, then.'

'So if I do, you'll come?'

'Yes, alright.' She rolled her eyes.

He smiled in triumph, leaning into kiss her forehead.

'Right, you're going up to bed, mister.'

'Fine.' He conceded.

Pulling him along after her, she lead him out of the room and up the stairs. At first sight of a pillow he crashed out without even changing clothes and Clara smiled at his agape mouth and adorable expression as she fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

They were really driving her crazy now. She was being deadly serious, and yet they weren't. It was actually pathetic, the way they would pretend to be sophisticated teachers with a mutual liking for one another. They even addressed each other sometimes as 'sir' or 'miss' just to throw off the sense of knowing each other's names. And somehow these incidents always had to happen when she was there, as if she hadn't already put up with it all at home. No, God was punishing her.

Katie stared at them, near the full panelled windows leading to the outside atrium of the canteen. Sitting opposite each other, laughing, smiling, talking. She was with her friends, on a bench diagonal from theirs, a plate of chips sat in front of her that they all shared equally. The whole school knew of their relationship, spoke whispers of it in the corridors, but no one despised it like she did. She hadn't told anyone of their engagement, and she was glad at least neither did they. Every one of her friends were joking and playing around, but she only gazed at the couple. Why would they interact with each other while at work? Why were they even on the same lunch break? It was humiliating. They weren't just affecting her life, they were also affecting her lunch, and that was something she couldn't stand for. It was an ongoing problem.

The second time was even worse. Barely even an hour after lunch and they decided they still hadn't seen enough of each other. Her father had stepped inside the classroom, probably not noticing she was there or it was her class at all. Clara looked up from her computer to see him there, and that civil teacher relationship was played just like the sound of a broken record.

'Do you have those tests for the year 12's?'

'Yeah, but some adjustments need to be made on a few of them. They're tricky to mark, grade boundaries aren't as reliable as they seem to be.'

The alibi was shocking, and yet she gathered them all up, hushed the class into a silence, and went out the room. Of course no one really paid attention to the command, instead snickered at the pair now out of sight.

'Probably gone round the corner to make out.' Someone said, stirring another few jokes and giggles.

'Wouldn't be surprised.' Katie replied, her hand cupping her cheek in complete monotony. In truth, she was getting a little tired of all the gossip and rumours and jokes circulating the school like wildfire. She didn't get bullied or anything, just sickened by being associated so heavily with them. Sometimes she wished she really was a different person with a different family. That's how tedious it had all become. Although it never stopped her from joining in, because she figured she'd rather become part of the joke than be the joke.

Her father was such a tool. Clara Oswald was like a poison that had already infected her oblivious victim. But she was immune, and glad to be so.

•••

'So look, question 20 really isn't about the language analysis, or the imagery, but-'

'Clara.'

He placed a hand on her arm, and she looked up at him like he had committed an act of violation, and realising it had been an act.

'John, I'm teaching. You can't just take me out of my lesson for something non-work related. Unless it's urgent.'

He stepped closer, Clara eyeing the narrow corridor just to be sure no one was watching.

'It is urgent.'

'Alright, what is it? You have to be quick, because my students can become quite imaginative when they want to.'

He chuckled and took a contradictory step back this time, watching Clara's mouth twitch with impatience.

'I wanted to do this here, Clara, because this is where we first met, and that's important to me.'

'It's important to me too, but-'

However, before she could continue he had took out a small black box, and sank down on one knee.

'I know I've already proposed, but I wanted to do it properly,' he explained, flicking the box open, 'ring included.'

Clara's face contorted into something like ecstasy, eyes wide and pupils dilated as she stared at the small gold band. His grin widened as she took his hand, her eyes unwavering from it.

'How much did that cost?'

'Clara!' He laughed, 'you don't have to worry about any of that. I told you I would buy it soon, and I was trying to be romantic, but it was foiled by my inquisitive fiancée. Now just try it on.'

She smiled as wide as she could as he slipped the ring onto her finger and Clara felt so overcome with emotion that for a scary moment she thought she was going to cry. As soon as he stood back up she folded him into her arms, and doing exactly what she had promised herself not to do.

'Feels so real now.' She said, muffled by his own shoulder she leant on heavily. John clutched her tightly for a second, feeling so happy that it had finally officially happened with the ring glistening proudly on her finger. He ultimately withdrew from her locked embrace to see her face lit up but also sensationally overwhelmed.

'I love you.' She uttered, eyes shining with small tears he tried hard not to replicate.

'I love you too.'

She couldn't help it, she let him kiss her despite their environment and she quickly became wrapped up in it for longer than was probably necessary, but she couldn't care for the time being. She lost all sense of where she was, what she should be doing, of how many students were waiting back in class. The only real, solid thing was John, his lips on hers, his hands holding her up, arms bound round her like he never intended to let go. But when it eventually became too much, they laughed in exultance as they parted.

'The only thing is...are you prepared to be subjected to all the students when they suddenly spot a ring on my finger?'

He deliberated. There would be a lot of questions, and rumours, and god knows what when they subsequently found out.

'We can get through a few students' subjections.' He told her confidently.

'Then it's good enough for me.'

She stared and grinned at the new and foreign band around her finger, to which she knew from that moment on she would be wearing for a long, long time.

'I think I need to get back to class before they all come running out like rogues.'

'Fine.' He agreed, pecking her cheek once more and stepping out of their embrace.

'Oh, and I actually do need these.' He winked at her, taking the stack of papers she had completely forgotten she was holding and striding back to his own classroom.

Clara shook her head adoringly at his retreating figure and then turned back, glancing at the ring and wondering if anyone would notice it when she had returned.

••••

John sneaked up behind her just as she came out of the bathroom. Her hair was in knots, still damp from a shower and she had a towel wrapped round her. As his arms encircled her she almost jumped.

'What are you doing?' She laughed, leaning against him, her head turning to see his face.

Without an answer he let go to face her properly, and pulled her up into a lift, making her protest as he held her in the air.

'John!' She squealed, unable to suppress a smile despite.

He marched her back to their bedroom, finally setting her down on the bed. Her flustered laugh made him grin affectionately. He lowered himself down on her, and immediately kissed her without having to think, straddling her.

'You know I've been waiting ages for you to get out of that shower?'

'Really?' She raised her eyebrows.

He gently kissed each collarbone, admiring how her eyes looked up at him, revelling in the under pressured gaze she had him locked in. It made his heart thump against his ribcage. He had no idea just how he had managed to deserve Clara Oswald, but thanked all gods above that he did.

'Yep. It's been a tough wait.'

'I bet it has.'

He leaned down again to kiss her neck, making a trail up to the corner of her mouth and then locking lips and caressing her cheek lovingly.

'You're willing to take any opportunity, aren't you?' She said, pulling away.

'Only if you are.'

He held up her hand to where the shiny ring was, kissing it.

Her fingers traced the fixture of his jaw, staring so wondrously it made him close his eyes.

She pulled his lips toward hers, brushing softly until they clashed at a more violent pace, and both of their bodies started to react in the company of the other. John's hands were holding her hips, squeezing with an urgency as his tongue probed hers forcefully. His hand caressed the skin just below the edge of her towel and then disappeared under it just as a shout came from downstairs.

'Dad!'

Katie's voice was calling for him, and he could only close his eyes in disbelief as his hand reappeared. Clara's head flopped back down in exasperation as he let go of her. He looked at her apologetically and moved his weight to finally stand. John was angry, especially at such precise timing, but mostly just because he didn't know what he had been thinking. His daughter was downstairs and despite desperately wanting to go there he knew he was being an idiot.

'Dad!' She called again, and at this he raced out of the room.

'What is it?' He asked, staring at Katie with a mass of papers spread around her.

'I can't do this damn homework you set.'

Katie was doing the homework he himself had set her class, and it felt like the most deliberate twist of karma he'd ever known. Cursing himself for actually fulfilling the description of his job, he explained and helped Katie with the work. Five minutes in, and to his discouragement Clara came down the stairs fully dressed, hair dried and setting up to prepare dinner. Their eyes met briefly with the same chagrin and disappointment at another chance wasted, but Katie was more important.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Katie had known exactly what they were doing, going by the extended measure of time they were alone together upstairs. She had quickly retrieved her homework he himself had given her, to teach him a lesson both ways. She was mostly just revolted by the fact she was still in the same vicinity and fully aware of the things they got up to as adults. And this was where she would preach her abhorrence.

It was worth it in a way, to actually go through a dull lecture and complete her English homework just so they were separated. Those were the horrifying lengths she would go to. She would rather spend an hour doing homework than bear the house become full of annoying Clara-cloned siblings. That was saying something.

Her mood was heavily crushed however - more than usual, anyway - when her father decided to spring the camping trip on her. The thought of spending two nights in a caravan in the middle of nowhere with both her father and Clara was practically her highway to hell. But her dad insisted, and as much as she tried to get out of it, he practically forced her into packing. So, as a result there she was slumped against her seat in the car and her father acting all enthusiastic about it. He was that kind of nature-bound type that thought he was spiritually one with trees, but she was willing to bet everything on that bullshit. Of course, she didn't ruin it for him, since it had been a large part of his childhood, but it certainly wasn't her scene.

'I don't get what is so relaxing about a stormy field. How can you call that a holiday?'

'It's good for you, your health, everything. The scenery is beautiful too.'

'John, do you have the satnav working?'

'Yeah, repaired it a few days ago. Should be fine.'

Clara put the keys in the ignition and revved up. As their house slowly passed by Katie stared at the lonely driveway and up at her bedroom window, sighing at the vision of her comfortable and deserted bed.

'I can't believe you're making me do this.' She said grumpily.

'Aw, come on, you'll love it.'

'And there's actually a swimming pool near there.'

'Wow, so happy it wasn't the lake.' She said sarcastically.

He turned round in his seat, grinning. 'Don't worry, we'll make it entertaining.'

'Oh, Jesus.' She grinned, rolling her eyes.

'You're so much like your mother.' He said, turning back. Katie stared in shock. He hardly ever mentioned her mother, even if Clara wasn't there. She didn't say anything, neither did anyone else, and the car was silent. Katie was happy about the comment, but she couldn't tell the expression on Clara's face, or what she was thinking. As if on cue, he took her hand in his, like he was consoling her. Centre of attention, as always. And even if she couldn't see her face, she detected just a tiny bit of jealousy. Stepmothers always hated hearing about previous wives.

She put on her headphones and let her conscience relax for the next long hours ahead of her.

••••

After hours of driving (and listening to their annoying conversation after her phone run out) they arrived at a caravan park that for the most part, looked derelict. It was an expanse of overgrown grass, a few trees bordering the park, and the horizon invisible beyond them. The caravans were faded and old and didn't look very appealing. She didn't think it was the type of scenic, picturesque setting her father had been going for, and his disappointed face justified this.

'It was so much brighter when I was a kid.'

'Yeah, but that was forever ago.' She said.

'Oi, don't be cheeky. I'm not old.'

'Hopefully, it will be better inside the caravans.' Clara added hopefully, rubbing his shoulder.

'Ah! Actually, I remember where the beautiful view was.' He said, continuing on in the wet, jungle-like grass.

'At least the grass is exactly like it used to be. Always rainy and the greenest green you could ever see.'

His spirits started to raise as he traipsed toward the group of trees.

'Let's go put our bags in the caravan first.' She said, turning to Katie. They quickly found the caravan they were staying in and stowed everything away, before they followed after him. Clara and Katie walked toward the trees, where John had just disappeared through. There was, in fact, a small gap through two trees that had been obscured from view. Making their way through, they saw John standing there, transfixed to the spot and observing the sight now set before them. The caravan park was like a dumping ground, whereas the view beyond was breathtaking. It was a small cliff, with the clouds streaked beautifully across the sky in different colours, and a tiny light hidden, the weak sun casting it's thin rays. John smiled, hugging Clara to his side while the ground below glimpsed what looked like a village.

'It's amazing.' She said.

'That was what we came for. That view. Me and my brothers and sister would come down here while our parents were cooking dinner. We'd flick stones over the edge and sit here having picnics, running around like crazy. At night we'd all come back down here and make a fire and watch the sun go down. Hopefully we can have that too.'

His story had charmed her until he had hinted again at more siblings. Clara's head rested on his shoulder, and one look at them confirmed her fears. Of course they wanted that. Katie had to desperately control herself from saying anything against it. What angered her the most was that he was saving that memory replication particularly for when they had a bigger family.

For a while they stood there, still admiring the view when Clara suggested they go back inside for dinner.

They walked back to the dreadful caravans to eat, where to closer inspection they found out the caravans weren't as bad inside as the exterior was. There wasn't a TV or anything, but there was a plug in her room so she could charge her phone.

'I'm bored.' She said, watching the grey clouds covering heavily over the park from the window.

'Well, I'm going out to see what's around. Maybe find a shop to get some things. You wanna go?'

'No thanks. I'm not getting stuck in rain.'

'Fair enough.'

'I'm still bored.' She added.

'Cards.' He replied, throwing down a pack. Katie looked distastefully at the deck and back up at him.

'There's so many card games you can play. Go on,' He encouraged, 'play with Clara.'

He shrugged on his coat, and stepped outside.

'I feel like I'm in the 50's.' She said.

Clara laughed a little, opening the deck.

'Know how to play go fish?'

'Of course.'

She had nothing better to do, so a card game with Clara was all she really could tolerate.

She dealt them up, and it soon became a competition Katie was intending to win. But Clara was good.

'Damn it!' She said, when she had lost, 'another game.'

It soon turned into a tournament, and it was actually entertaining her. All troubles about Clara were momentarily lost when they suddenly started to enjoy what they were doing. With jubilation she threw down her cards in the fashion of success, and she briefly forgot of her grudge against Clara, all smiling and victorious.

That is until her eyes fell to her hands, and her smile froze and her eyes narrowed. A ring had appeared magically on Clara's finger and suddenly the card game had felt childish and silly. Her father had given her a ring after all. Her face went stony and Clara could sense what was wrong.

'Katie-' she began.

Katie ignored her and strode out of the room, straight into her temporary cupboard-like sanctuary.

••••

'Why is it that whenever I leave you two together you always end up like this?'

She only shook her head. For a moment it had become almost promising, maybe she could even warm up to Clara eventually, but by the end of it, it only reminded her how much Katie despised her.

'I still don't get how you thought we could ever 'bond', camping trip or not. To be honest, I never expected her to like me much, anyway, she's too heavily tied with her mum, and I respect that.'

'Don't bring her up.' John said, averting his eyes from hers.

'John, you can't pretend she doesn't exist. What you said in the car earlier today was something you should definitely mention more often,'

'That just slipped out, I wasn't even thinking-'

'Katie loves her mother a lot and I can only imagine how devastated she was when you both split up. She obviously wants you two to get back together, and I'm the one stopping you. That's why she hates me.'

'She can't expect that to happen. I love you.'

'She doesn't understand that, can't comprehend it. but we're engaged, she saw the ring and now she knows it's inescapable.'

John's fingers intertwined with her own, and he only stared down at the ring, in responding.

'John, maybe we're just going too fast.'

At this, his head flicked up to hers in alarm, hair all messed up and tangled.

'I mean, we only met a year ago. It wasn't much time for Katie to get used to this. We're already getting engaged and I want it to happen as soon as it can but at the same time it's been a blur ever since I met you. It feels like it was only last month.'

'You can't turn down the ring,' he said, trying to smile reassuringly but inside, uneasy.

Clara looked at him, his desperate look of hope and devotion, his eyes a familiar and trusting green, his dark hair swept over one eye, his hand wrapped round hers. She decided she couldn't let him go.

'No,' she said, 'I can't turn down the ring.'

'Clara, I think you're overreacting just a bit, you know? I get that you feel like it's your fault but now you're just worrying me.'

'I know, I'm sorry.'

'Why don't we forget about it and carry on like nothing happened, stop worrying about being engaged and have a bit of fun. I'm sure there's enough time to turn it all around. Come on, let's go to bed.' He announced, kissing the side of her forehead. Sometimes she just didn't know what she'd do without him.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Clara held onto John as much as she could with the sheets pulled up to her neck to prevent the cold and yet she was still shivering. The air almost escaped them in puffs of smoke and had slept with hoodies over their pyjamas. His nose was nestled amidst her hair and arms enveloping her like a child. She knew John was a lot more resistant to cold weather than she was.

'My idea of a holiday is a nice sunny beach somewhere hot, I never thought I'd be camping in the freezing cold.'

He laughed in reply, 'it'll come along soon enough, don't worry. Pick a place and that's where we'll go.'

'But Katie would have to stay at home, wouldn't she?'

'Well not to be rude, but I would prefer if it was just me and you on our own honeymoon. But I'm positive we'll be able to go a few places with her more often. We haven't all gone abroad together yet.'

'As long as it isn't cold.'

'No, we'll go tropical,' he smiled, holding her tighter and warmer, Clara laughing at his tone of voice. 'But we'll come back here in the summer, if it helps.'

'I could get my family to look after her for a week?' She said, bringing back the conversation of honeymoon's.

'Clara...Katie Smith with a load of Oswald's...not a good idea.'

'Ah yeah, maybe not, then.' She grinned.

Suddenly he dived in to kiss her, catching her off guard but reciprocating nonetheless. Her hands were already underneath his hoodie and round his waist, acting as a radiator to her cold arms. Clara felt his hand rest on her thigh and his weight slowly becoming dominant. She drew back, casting his hands away and watching his confused expression become his face.

She knocked the side of the wall that connected to the kitchen outside as if to prove a point.

'Thin walls.' She explained, 'I think the whole caravan would hear us, including people who already have grudges against others.' She raised her eyebrows, and John seemed to catch what she meant. Nevertheless she retreated back to his embrace while he looked at her obstinately.

'You said yourself it was cold.'

'Yeah John, I'm not falling for that,' she chuckled, 'I'm a teacher of the English language.'

His whole face seemed to be tinted with a resentfulness.

'Hey, don't get grumpy!' She laughed, poking his cheek lightly.

'What's the point of a holiday when-'

'Alright, that's enough thank you,' she interjected, non stop giggling at her command as she pulled away from his body and the whole bed itself.

She rounded the narrow edge of the bed, squeezing just enough to retrieve another layer of clothing to keep her warm. The whole bedroom itself was small, just about fitting the double bed and a wardrobe. She felt just a little too confined to the constricting space.

'I'm making breakfast.' She announced, almost certain he would follow after her once she walked out of the room. With a smug smile, sure enough he lumbered into the open kitchen and stood behind her while she occupied herself with the washing in the sink.

'What do you want?' She asked. He was about to answer when she interrupted. 'For breakfast?'

'I'll just have some toast.'

'Put it in, then.'

As he worked the toaster, his voice made her smile.

'You're such a tease, Clara Oswald.'

'And proud of it.'

'And you know your limits.'

'Yep.'

'I'm wondering if it's the teaching or if I just didn't turn you on properly.'

'You, Mr Smith, are pushing your limits,' She retorted, trying not to give into smiling, 'now sit down, be quiet and eat your bloody toast.'

He rounded the corner to the cornered sofa exactly opposite to the kitchen space.

She eyed him carefully, as if he were a child on the verge of acting out. And eventually, just like a child, he grew bored.

'Anything I can help you with?' He said, his presence behind her once again.

'You can start helping me finishing all this from last night.'

He hardly said anything as he started to dry plates and cutlery. John's hands rested on her shoulders and Katie appeared a minute later, yawning and stumbling to the sofa with a gait very similar to John's.

'It's so cold.' She commented.

'Why don't you have a jumper on?' John asked incredulously. Her arms were covered in goosebumps and were wrapped round her thin legs.

'I didn't know it would be so cold. And I don't like wearing jumpers.'

'You just thought a caravan might have luxury heating?'

'No, I just thought it would be warmer.'

'Swimming today, though.' He said, sounding like an excitable child.

Clara handed her a bowl of cereal which she rather politely thanked her for.

'Where is it?'

'Just up the road.'

Clara sat down with her own breakfast and they all sat in an awkward silence that didn't help the already gloomy atmosphere of the caravan. Apart from the swimming there wasn't much left to do, so they decided to drive home straight after. As much as she liked being away from home, Clara was anticipating the return back. By 11 they were packed, dressed and ready for swimming. Locking the caravan up, they headed back toward the car and Clara saw John look toward the direction of the picturesque view almost wistfully. But he carried on walking, setting everything down in the boot and they started driving to the swimming pool. Despite the desolate area it was full with people, their shouts of laughter a chorus they could hear from the changing rooms. There were plenty of diving boards at different levels and even a slide spilling over the private pool opposite. John grinned at them, a marvel in bow tie patterned trunks. He dived straight in, cutting through the water like a knife and coming up for air with his hair two shades darker and twisted in front of his face. He slicked it back and motioned for them to join them. Clara dived in too, splashing John almost immediately. A water fight soon occurred and even Katie joined in with it.

'Go do your thing up there.' He said.

'What thing?'

'Your dive.'

She rolled her eyes but climbed up to the highest diving board there was and spectacularly jumped, even rolling in midair and diving safely to the water.

'Woah, how do you do that?' Katie asked as she bashfully made her way back to them.

'I had a lot of lessons when I was young. Learned it from my instructor, really.'

'Is it easy to do?'

'It is now. The first few times can hurt.'

'Can you show me?'

Clara glanced at John, nearly disbelieving what she had heard. He smiled encouragingly, obviously pleased. Katie seemed impressed by her dive, and Clara was more than happy to teach her.

'Can you dive properly?'

'A little.'

'Start off at the shorter diving boards and do what you normally do. Bend your knees and brace yourself when you touch the water. Oh, and keep your head tucked in a little, you don't want to go face first.'

Katie nodded, executing a dive fairly well and Clara praised her politely. It seems she was getting kinder with every word and she was starting to involve herself more. It certainly pleased Clara.

'Now work your way up.' She said, after the fourth time of diving. They took up a whole hour, Clara instructing and Katie learning until she made her way up one of the bigger boards. It was quite a high height for a beginner, but Clara was confident she could do it. Smiling up at her from down below with John she began to become grateful he had suggested the trip. It had definitely brought them a little closer. They definitely hadn't 'bonded' but she was sure they were ultimately on the right track.

She dived, a grace John certainly didn't possess making her lines sharp and and her position exactly how it should be. When she crashed into the surface they both gave a small clap and Katie was smiling just a fraction at her accomplishment.

'That was really good.' Clara said.

'Thanks.'

'Was it worth learning the whole hour?' John asked.

'Yeah, I liked it. But I need to go on the slide before we go.'

'Go on then.' He said, and she swam off like a jet toward the large water slide.

John turned to her, eyebrows lifting.

'I think she genuinely enjoyed herself doing the diving.'

'Yeah.'

'I told you this was a good idea.' He said proudly. Her arms wrapped round his neck.

'Yes, it was.'

'And we'll come back, for sure.'

'Yeah, but when it's a little warmer.'

'Agreed. I knew it would do her good.'

She nodded, suddenly dipping down underwater and swimming away. John joined her, racing against each other to the deep end. Of course, Clara got their a few seconds earlier than him, being a competent swimmer. Yet when he finally got there, the way her eyes reflected off the bright lights overhead and her hair all tangled yet smooth from the water was hard to keep him from kissing her briefly in the midst of the whole pool, laughing at her toes only just touching the floor.

'You're so short.' He said, chuckling, and Clara brushed his shoulder mockingly.

Katie at last came down the slide, twisting the whole way round, not far from touching the ceiling. She tumbled finally toward the mouth of the slide, propelling her forward and striking a pose midair as she climactically fell to the water. She was underwater for a concerning period of time, however, and John started to edge closer cautiously. Yet she thankfully appeared at the steps, having swum all the way.

Once they had gathered it was only a matter of drying and dressing and soon they were back in the car.

She settled at the wheel until John took her hand.

'You've been driving all yesterday, do you want me to drive now?'

She sighed in relief and thanked him. Clara was getting a little tired of driving for so long, and in general. Clara granted him with a smile as she shuffled along and John took her former seat. As she watched the countryside fade away in blurs of colours she closed her eyes, but unintentionally fell asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Katie settled back into the car, instantly playing her music to the highest volume. It didn't take long for her to notice Clara's figure slumped in her chair and her head pressed against the glass. She was asleep. Her dad kept looking over at her as he drove. She could admit that the whole trip was a bit pointless but the swimming had been a highlight. She had, for the first time, regarded Clara with a little more respect, but that was only because she could dive. She figured being kind for a bit would help learning. She still disliked her with a passion, but for an hour in there she was actually civil. It did prove she could be nice, but that was impossible for her. She, as her father had put it, was too much like her mother. Katie only just remembered she hadn't seen her mother in ages. It had to have been at least six months ago. With a dark despair she longed to see her, now more than anything. Everything was crumbling down around her anyway, she only needed that extra bit of understanding comfort, someone who wouldn't judge or think low of her. That was her mother.

Watching Clara's sleeping frame, she became overwhelmed with the same hate that had plagued her before. Now she knew she was returning to normal.

'Why do you like Clara so much?' She asked into the silence, finally able to voice her opinions aloud to her dad without Clara hearing. He seemed to stiffen a little, his eyes darting to where she sat before he answered.

'Why don't you?'

'Answer the question.' She sighed angrily. He always tried to evade direct questions.

'She's...' His voice faltered, trying to find the right words. Katie waited expectantly, already planning her response, 'She's perfect. Perfect in every way for me. Always brave, always funny, always exactly what I need.'

Katie only stared. All replied faded from her mind as she tried to comprehend his answer.

'Really?' She asked.

'Yes,' he said firmly, 'if only you just warmed up to her a bit, got to know her. She's an amazing woman, Katie. If only you saw that.'

'So mum wasn't perfect?' She suddenly said, her question now making him stiffen even more. His knuckles seemed to turn white on the steering wheel.

'Not for me, but I'm sure she is for someone else.'

'So you never loved her?'

'Look, of course I loved her. I loved her more than anything. Just not anymore.'

'I still don't get how you downgraded so much.'

'Katie, you need a motherly figure in your life. I know you already have your mum, but you need someone who will always be there, and that should be Clara. She cares for you Katie, like any mother would. I know it's hard to let go of your mother but she walked out on both of us and never came back. Clara would never do that.'

'How do you know?' She said stubbornly.

'Because I know Clara, and she'd never abandon us. Your mother was a mistake, but you weren't and I'm glad I have you, Katie. You need to know that and maybe I haven't been telling you it enough.'

'Mum is better than she'll ever be.' She replied, 'Clara will never be my mother. Not mother, not stepmother, not anything. She isn't anything to me.'

Her temper really had gotten a hold of her internal thoughts, finally being voiced aloud. Her father didn't say anything for a long time. She was sure her answer had affected him.

'Have you ever considered,' he began, his voice actually trembling with anger, 'that she might be exactly what I need, and that I love her? Have you ever taken a second to think about how I feel, and maybe what I deserve? It was your precious mother that broke my heart and Clara healed it so much I've finally gone back to how I used to be. Have you considered any of it?'

Katie was astonished, his voice raising with every sentence until he was nearly shouting by the end of it. She was too astounded to say anything, and for real this time. There genuinely was not a single thing to say in answer to that explosive speech, and Katie decided not to press further. Turning her music back on she let her mind fill with the voices of screams for salvation and justice.

••••

Somehow her mood had dropped rapidly from the second she stepped into school. Of course her mood was always a sombre one but it was even worse. People started to swarm her, asking questions and she suddenly grasped the subject of the situation. Everyone had seen the inevitable ring on Clara's fingers and now they were giving her questions on what she thought, how she coped. By the time it was lunch rumours were floating around and most of them got round to her eventually. She was so tired of this act now. People asking her about Clara being her stepmother, how she must be a pain to live with and how many times she reads the same boring book over again. Of course she ignored them. But it was weary work, and once again she found herself sickened. All the other teachers were congratulating them, making comments, none of them caring, thinking, about how it all affected her. They were asking things like dates, dresses, everything that Katie was trying not to think about. It just so happened she failed two tests, got sent out and snapped at one of her friends. Life seemed so cruel and callous to her. But people like Clara got everything they wanted. She traipsed to Clara's office with heavy steps and a weight on her heart. Things didn't improve. Not in the slightest. Unwarily rounding the corner she froze on the spot and her eyes widened in horror. The door was half closed but she could see through it. Clara was perched at the very edge of the desk, John between her and her short legs dangling by the side of him. And to make matters worse, they were kissing. A lot.

She doubled back, her breathing like she had been running. Shutting her eyes as if she could ban the image from her mind as her back fell against the wall. It had given her a very unpleasant and grotesque shock, something she never thought she'd see in her life. What the fuck did they think they were doing?! She wondered to herself, how could two perfectly rules bound teachers suddenly start making out in an office? It was ridiculous. No, it was embarrassing. That word again. That's all they ever were to her. Humiliating. A joke. Why did they think it would be okay to do this, while anyone could have walked in? They should know she would be coming in any minute. Katie cautiously edged closer, seeing if they had teared apart yet. But she stopped as soon as she heard voices.

'Stop! Katie will come along any minute,' Clara's unmistakable voice said in a coarse whisper which only just carried to her undeserving ears.

A grumble, and then it seemed as if her father had finally pulled away. She came closer, nearly ending up walking in until she saw them again, as close as ever. John had obviously ignored her demands and was now leaning against her, Clara's face visible at the crook of his shoulder. Ugh. Disgusting. Yet her eyes suddenly saw her, and Katie darted back again. She had seen her eyes stare into hers for a second, realising she was there and what she was witnessing.

'Katie's right there.' She whispered in the smallest of voices, but still discernible to her. Katie could very well imagine her father's cheeks slowly blossoming a scarlet red and fixing his bow tie subconsciously, as if that would disguise everything that had happened.

A few moments and she was positive their hands were off each other, she swung round the corner and into the office with an incredibly innocent falseness that wasn't kidding anyone. They all knew what had happened but didn't speak of it. The tension in the room seem to magnify from a hundred to a thousand in the awkward silence surrounding the trio. After a delay of insignificant dawdling, her father decided to be brave and subtly tell them they should make their way to the car. Clara looked infinitely embarrassed and John even more so. While in the car the silence had heightened and Katie cursed herself for letting her phone run out of battery. As it happened, her father was so ashamed and humiliated by the situation the silence got too much for him, and he decided to turn on the radio. The music blared out of the stereo loudly, nearly making Katie jump. John started to sing to it, making an even bigger fool out of himself. Clara looked over at him with an expression that read 'what the hell are you doing?'

He didn't stop however, and the songs carried on, and thus did John's awkward singing. Katie was still grossed out, probably permanently now, and reminded herself always to check before rushing in.

•••

John felt so bad, but realised he had worsened it with his decision to put on the radio. It just made the situation even more cringy than it already was. He hadn't seen Katie at the door himself, but Clara told him she was there and he had released her immediately. It was his fault. It always was. Making a move at all the wrong times, getting caught or being interrupted. It seemed to be a running theme. A running theme he hoped didn't come round the next time. He seriously did entice Clara; every time. He knew Katie would most certainly blame it on her, and he felt guilty for that. But in all truth she was irresistible, in all sense of the word. He knew fully well they had been doing it still within school, despite the fact it was Clara's office, and anyone could have burst in unannounced and seen them. Any teacher, any student. And that's where he had become reckless; they were both adults, but both teachers. They had reputations to uphold and he had already mercilessly destroyed one of them. Oh well, he thought to himself. He couldn't help the grin forming on his face. It was a relief that John had mostly forgotten about the argument about Clara in the car the day they returned home from the camping trip, since he was still partially angry. But he couldn't stay mad for long. And it came to trouble, sometimes, too.

They both decided it was something not to repeat again at school, after a continuous laugh about it. They settled peacefully on the sofa, Clara claiming the by remote and putting on a program they watched through sleepy eyes. They both took up the whole couch, his legs dangling over the armrests and Clara's dipping and entangling in his. Her head was right over the place his heart was, and he liked to think every heartbeat was her own as soon as she heard it. His arms enfolding her, stroking her hair tenderly, caressing her arms, shoulders, back, kissing her head and falling asleep in each other's arms.

He stirred from under her, the TV still playing and Clara still resting atop him like she was literally part of him. It made him smile. She instantly reached up to brush the floppy hair out of his eyes, her own still dazed with a little fatigue.

'Are you okay?'

'Yeah.' She grinned, stretching and yawning.

'Do you want to go to bed?'

'No,' she shook her head, 'I like laying here on the sofa for some reason.'

'Wish is my command.'

Her arms wrapped round his neck, her face nuzzled into his shoulder, breathing in his scent that soon filled her nose with a pleasant fusion of shampoo and aftershave. He gently started kissing a trail from her neck that calmed her instantaneously. But yet again, as annoying as it could be, their serenity was disturbed. She felt like she had had enough of disruptions to last her the rest of her life. But apparently, there weren't enough of them.

Katie walked in like she always did, shutting her eyes for a minute in disbelief and stalking away as John's lips receded from her skin, and her whole body tingled with sudden cold at the absence of him. Katie was thumping up the stairs with John following her. She viewed them from the door to the living room, watching the argument unfold.

'I can't even come down here to record something I want on TV without retching at the sight of you.' She explained, rage interlacing with her voice.

'How do we know when you want to come downstairs, Katie? You disappear for hours, the whole evening, up in your bedroom! Sometimes we don't even see you after we've come home, you race upstairs and don't even bother to sit down here with us or eat dinner.'

'You don't exactly make an effort, though do you? You don't come upstairs and suggest I do any of that, you don't check on me at all. And even then, as I just found out, why do you think I wouldn't want to come down here with you?'

'You're a teenager, Katie! I don't know what you want, most adolescents your age want to be left alone, and from what you say it appears you would decline the offer anyway.'

'And back again with: can't you see why?' She shouted, leaning against the wooden rail and turning her back. But she still wasn't able to get away fast enough. John took a step upwards, nearer.

'You're upstairs in the dark for hours, and it isn't good for you, and frankly, I don't like the way you're speaking to me at all.'

'I don't exactly care!' She retaliated. John took a deep breath and then continued, surprisingly calmly.

'Katie, you need to listen, and stop shouting at me. You have to drop the attitude otherwise you will get nowhere in life, I'm telling you now-'

'You don't want me here.' She cut across, now more monotonous than irate, 'you don't need me here, you don't want me here. All you want is your perfect Clara and a perfect family and a perfect life, but it always seems as if I'm not in it, and that's fine, because I don't want to be.'

'Katie, that's wrong, of course I want you here! I could never choose anyone above you, okay?'

'You chose Clara. That was the moment you didn't care anymore what I did.'

'Could you stop talking crazily for a minute and listen to me when I say there is no life for me without you, there is no way on earth I would ever say I didn't want you around. You're making all of this up!'

Katie looked down at him in repulsion and Clara felt so sorry for him, to see that look on his own daughter's face, she only imagined how much it hurt him.

'You carry on with what you were doing, don't let me intrude. I won't disturb you anymore.' She spat, stomping toward her bedroom. It looked as though John had given up the fight when he gave a reply.

'These were the fights,' he said, and Katie spun once again back round to him, somewhat intrigued, 'these were the arguments we used to have, and you fight so much like her it's painful to remember. Your mother would always, always think I didn't care for her, when in fact I did the complete opposite. I cared too much. And look where that got me. For a moment I felt like there was a chance, you know, of being closer, and I felt it especially when we went swimming. We all joined in and had fun that day, but as soon as we got back you had returned to normal. Hell, you've probably turned worse. I hate arguing with you! And you know what? You're just going to have to stop feeling sorry for yourself and except that we're getting married, because it will only end in more conflict that I don't wish to be apart of.'

'Well, you know what, dad? No. I'm not going to accept anything like that and you can't make me.'

She could see John's hands clenching and unclenching, shaking uncontrollably. She sighed against the doorframe, wishing she could take every problem away and make it better.

'When you had that argument with Clara about money, you had no idea, did you? You think we're keeping all the extra and saving it up? Chance would be a fine thing,' he muttered, 'no, what we're spending it on surely doesn't help us with our wedding, it's paying for things like your phone bill that goes over every month, the electrics bill that has increased because you leave every switch on, the takeaways we get you every week because you're feeling down, the new shoes or top or pair of jeans you want desperately we pay for, even when it's stupidly expensive. All your hair products, your make up, you're online music membership. We pay a ridiculous amount every month and apart from all the bills, you're the most we're spending on. And don't forget that it's Clara that gets paid more than me, so it's her you're mostly getting all of this from. You look at our wedding savings and you will realise we hardly have anything! So stop complaining and making things difficult!'

A pause erupted from the end of his speech, and Katie only glared at him. It was like they were suddenly in the midst of a still image, and neither one moved. She watched as Katie conclusively strode away, once and for all turning toward her door and slamming it shut behind her. Clara was a fraction glad it was over but filled even more so with sorrow.

John hung his head, walking back, and eventually past her where he sank down exasperatedly on the sofa.

She gave him a sympathetic smile, sitting down beside him. Clara didn't really have any words to comfort him with, but his ongoing laconic state was starting to worry her. She placed a hand on his shoulder but nothing consoled him.

'This is getting tedious.' He said.

He sat there, the only words he uttered, and Clara was forced to leave him there, still musing deeply as she blinked the sleep dust from her eyes and climbed up the stairs.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Katie laid on her bed, observing her whole bedroom, the clothes in her draw, the posters on her wall. It maddened her that Clara had paid for some of those things. She hadn't really thought about it before, not even about whose money it was. Just that it was something always there, to rely on. To think Clara had bought so much for her was annoying because it felt like she owed her and Katie couldn't think of anything worse. That argument had been the start, she decided. The start to what it would be like, living with him and Clara, how he would shout more often, become frustrated. Katie thought about the young, carefree and reckless father she once had. Her mother had brought out the best in him and now it was fading. Probably already gone. He had never shouted at her, never put someone else in front of her yet here he was, Clara on his arm, eyes creases in frustration. They would probably stay permanently creased now. Katie had had such a good childhood, she remembered most of it fondly, John giving her piggy back rides and going to picnics and on holiday together somewhere adventurous. And only a few weeks ago they were in a freezing cold, desolate field. What an upgrade. She didn't go to sleep until the early hours, her insomnia particularly detrimental that night, the situation making it worse, replaying in her head. All she could hear was her father's voice ringing in her head like an alarm bell, but she couldn't believe them. Especially when he said he wanted her there. He might as well had confessed it there and then, it wouldn't have made any difference. Katie knew she wasn't needed at the end of the day. But another plan of action soon sparked within her mind and a smile of revenge marked her features. It was a good one, something that would particularly rile John up but not able to get angry. It was perfect, and no matter what the consequences were later, this for sure was worth it.

••••

The next day was a Saturday, and John still seemed a little hostile toward her, but mostly back to his awkward self. That night she was able to make her plan work; she had been planning all day. Katie walked into the living room, where John and Clara were watching some boring, old movie. He looked up surprisingly at her presence, raising his eyes in polite question. For the smallest millisecond she almost regretted what she was about to do but smothered it with a cool smile. Sentimentality was to be left behind at all times. She had to remember that.

'I'm going to a party,' she announced, watching his eyebrows lift even further, 'with some friends.'

'Wow, you're actually being sociable. Can't remember the last time.'

'Very funny. I'll be back later.'

'Okay, Kate.'

She walked away, smiling nearly to the point of laughter. He only called her Kate when he was happy with her. He obviously thought he had an evening alone with Clara. She was to soon change that. Calling out her farewells, she shut the door behind her, observing the dark sky and revelling in the humid summer air. She walked round to the next street where her friends would be waiting, at least ten of them. Katie couldn't wait to see her father's face.

•••

'Can you believe that?' He laughed, once the door shut behind her, 'she's actually gone out to socialise rather than be stuck upstairs in her room. I'm proud of her.'

'Yeah. And from what it sounds, she's going to be away for a few hours.' She said, smiling suggestively at him. John couldn't resist the raise of her eyebrows, the pursing of her lips. He was not only impressed with Katie, but with Clara's provocative seductions. He couldn't help himself. They had sunk further down the sofa, intending to finish what they had started last night. Being with Clara really had made his life better, he didn't deny that even when arguing with Katie over it. He really was a better person. He wished particularly to freeze the moment, keep it forever timelessly. As his lips brushed hers carefully, he smiled at the sheer luck he beheld, whatever fate had made him end up like this, holding someone so close and precious to him. He seriously couldn't describe it, no words came to him.

But his blissful reverie was shaken, woken up at the sound of the door opening. In befuddlement they both teared away from each other, watching in bewilderment as one by one, a load of teenagers entered their house and Katie preceded them. They hardly gave them a second glance as they started chatting and laughing and making noise. It was clear what they had been doing, going by the first few open buttons on his shirt and Clara's messy hair, and it was even worse when they recognised their own year 10 students. John beckoned Katie from the crowd, his eyes like fire. Clara was looking over at the adolescents warily, as if they might start breaking the kitchenware.

'What the hell is this?' He hissed, voice almost escaping him but keeping it under a low, menacing tone.

'The party. I did tell you.' She told him innocently.

'You said you were going out!'

'I never said where, dad.'

'They can't be here.' He shook his head.

'So what, you're just gonna ask them to leave?'

He was wistful about it, but for him it was too rude.

'They're our students, Katie!' He said, 'we teach them English everyday, we set them homework, we don't invite them to our house!'

'But they're my friends,' she retorted, 'are you saying I can't have friends round like any other person?'

'One or two of them is fine, but not ten!'

'Actually, fifteen. A few more decided to join in.'

He really was at breaking point, eyes closing briefly as the noise built up in his ears and he rubbed his hands exasperatedly over his face. Clara looked just as annoyed and flustered.

'What, are you telling me you've never thrown a house party before?'

'Of course we have, but our parents didn't teach the students.'

'Well, I didn't choose to be here with you, did I?' She said, stalking off.

John sighed infuriatingly. Clara turned him toward her, trying to console him with her warm, brown eyes.

'Katie's right, she should be allowed to grow up, have house parties, whatever she wants. You need to keep in control, remember, but you also need to let her do the things other people do, the things we used to do,' Clara amended her statement at the look on his face, 'within reason,' she added.

'I know, but if it wasn't all the kids we teach I would almost tolerate it. Fact is, she didn't even clarify the party was to be here, and did it without our permission. That's what makes me so fucking angry!'

Clara took hold of him, trying to shake the sense back into him. She was mostly shocked at his cursing. He only did it when really, really infuriated, and it took him a moment to realise it.

'Hey, look, calm down,' she said soothingly, rubbing his shoulder, 'we'll just keep out of their way, there's nothing we can really do, except kick them out. But then I don't want to be faced with all the rumours back at school. If they cause any trouble, we'll just tell them politely, keep it within the teacher act, okay?'

One of the students decided to break up the moment, a cup of what looked like coke in one hand. At least they weren't drinking the alcohol in the fridge.

'Sir, when's that homework due in?'

'Monday.'

'Can I have an extension?'

'Why?'

'Because I'm here tonight.'

'No, you can't, Emily.'

She frowned and spun on her heel toward the others all gathered around the kitchen island.

'This is going to be mad,' He said, 'everyone's going to be asking stupid questions and nosing around our house. It's like a breach of privacy.'

'As much as they're out students, they're Katie's friends. Come on, let's get out of their way.'

She lead him through the crowd, often hearing things about how weird it was that both their teachers were living together, or the excessive amount of empty beer bottles overflowing the bin. It was like they were being inspected, one thing found and it would be reported instantly back to school.

They climbed the stairs, watching as teenagers grabbed food from the cupboards. As long as they didn't do anything illegal.

'I feel almost wrong being in my own house in my own pyjamas right now.' He commented.

'I know. But hopefully they'll stay out of our way, and if they get loud we can just tell them to keep it down.'

'In our pyjamas,' he snorted, 'our students seeing us in pyjamas. Our students in our house, full stop! I don't like this at all. Should have just told Katie no in the first place.'

'Yeah, but we can't help that now.'

She slipped in beside him, trying to focus on going to sleep rather than the din below them.

Yet only a few hours later, she was stirring and opened her eyes to John's troubled face and her ears to the loud music blaring out from downstairs. Blinking in a confused and enervated daze, she looked up to see him sighing, hand rifting through his hair.

'I'm too tired to even get out of bed,' she said, pulling him back down to her, 'just go back to sleep with me.' She mumbled, nestling her face into his chest, keeping a tight hold on him. Clara was way too comfortable in his embrace to bother telling teenagers off for being loud. She promised him if things exacerbated, they would intervene.

Sure enough, they woke again, and this time Clara grumbled and turned, trying to block it out to no avail.

'What time is it?' She asked.

'Nearly 3 o'clock and they haven't even gone yet. I swear I just heard a few of them up here.'

John decisively climbed out of bed and stomped sleepily downstairs.

What he saw was the living room now a makeshift dance floor, mini speakers plugged into phones he didn't even know the origins of and everyone still loitering around, singing, laughing, dancing like a proper frat party. He even saw new and empty alcohol cans littered around the place. He made his way to Katie, virtually grabbing her to the nearest deserted space he could find.

'What are they all still doing here?! We're trying to sleep!'

'Sorry. We'll keep it down.' She dismissed him, close upon walking away but John stopped her.

'No, I want them out, that's enough, stop fooling around. I can't believe I even tolerated this, but they're all still here and I don't want to wake up tomorrow and find students passed out in the kitchen. Right?'

She sighed. 'They'll be out in the next hour and I'll make sure they're not noisy. Okay?'

He shook his head. 'I don't know why I allow you to do these things sometimes.' He parted, ignoring the sniggers and laughter at the sight of a teacher in pyjamas and returning upstairs.

'They should be going in the next hour.' He told Clara, rubbing his eyes and stretching. He settled back beside her and belatedly fell asleep as the noise finally dissipated.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

What they found the next morning certainly didn't improve their mood. Cups and liquids were everywhere, making the floor sticky beneath their feet and the blinds from the living room had been crumpled. Luckily the TV wasn't damaged but the sofa was scattered with crumbs, spillages and wrappers. When Katie saw them observing the dirty rooms she tried to slip past but John saw her.

'You're clearing all this up.'

'No way, I didn't make this mess!'

'No, but you caused it. Look, everything's dirty, I'm just relieved nothing was damaged or broken. Come on, start cleaning.'

Katie groaned in protest but one glare from her father and she lazily picked up a bin bag while the two of them ate breakfast and watched her labour on. She sung songs in her head and cursed to herself, yet she was reminded that every victory must come with consequences. John didn't punish her further apart from that, but he hardly talked to her and stared angrily at the discoloured and blotchy furniture.

'I'm so tempted to bring something up in class about this.'

'No, no, no, don't do that.' She said. He always would threaten to 'bring something up in class' but he never did. Although this time he was angrier than most.

'You can't exactly punish them in school for something they did outside of school, John.'

'But it's still my house.'

'And you're still a respectful English teacher so don't ruin it.'

At least Clara put him in place, she thought. Although English teacher yes, respectful no. His class was almost as dim as Clara's. Especially as they were focusing on jacobean texts.

'If you do any of this again, Katie, I swear...'

She rolled her eyes. It was all threats without substance. Even Clara knew that.

'Yeah, fine, I won't do it again.'

'Well, one final thing before you disappear again, you can make me a cup of coffee.'

She stared daggers at him but did as he wished.

'And tea for Clara.'

It was hard trying to keep in the anger, even over those little things, but if there was one stupidly annoying trait about her father it was his patronisation.

•••

'Clara Oswald,' he announced, placing his hands on her shoulders and smiling eagerly.

'John Smith.'

'Proposition.'

'Go on.'

'I was thinking, when we next get paid staying somewhere, just the two of us.'

'What do you have in mind?'

'Small trip to France? I have a few good friends up there and it's a lovely place to visit. I was thinking next weekend, we get paid this Friday, so it shouldn't be a problem.'

Clara raised her eyebrows, smiling in return and wrapping her arms round his neck.

'Sounds romantic.'

'Oh it will be,' he grinned, 'very nice place to stay.'

'I'll go halves on you with that.'

'Brilliant.'

'What about Katie?'

His mouth twitched just a fraction. She could see he was getting a little tired of hearing that question.

'She'll have to bear it because I want to take my beautiful fiancée on holiday without any of this stupid stress surrounding us. We'd take Katie, if we could afford it but it will only be a few days.'

'And you seriously think that's going to work?'

'It will have to, because we deserve a holiday. I'm not waiting for a honeymoon. Plus, that caravan trip just wasn't enough.'

'Alright then.'

'And to be completely honest, I'm kind of anxious to have little you's running around.'

'I can imagine small versions of you more than me, wearing bow ties and braces.'

He laughed, something she marvelled at, thrived in, something he hadn't been doing enough. She cast her mind back to the first few months, how carefree he'd been, like he didn't have a worry in the world. Never truly serious about anything. He was the peace that paved it's way round the suffering and made it right again. That's how it felt. But recently all he had been doing was getting himself frustrated. Katie wasn't helping, but that was only because of her. She felt she was a burden to him sometimes, but he was ultimately that gentle soul she adored. And he was right, they did deserve a mini break. The caravan hadn't exactly been relaxing, despite the incredible view.

'Well, the holiday sounds perfect.'

'I hope it is.'

•••

'What?' She glared, standing stubbornly opposite the both of them.

'We're going to France, if that's alright, Katie.'

'No, it's not!'

'Well, that's tough isn't it?'

'This is because of me, isn't it? I've finally gotten too much for you.'

'Its nothing to do with you, I've just gotten sick of waking up, going to work, eating dinner and going to bed routine.'

'That's life!'

'And we both can afford just enough for the both of us, I'm afraid.'

'You're not sorry at all. And you can't, anyway.'

'Why not?'

'I have a gig that weekend.'

'A gig?'

'I told Courtney I'd go to a concert with her.'

John was surprised, for the most part. Katie had deliberately made sure Courtney had gotten tickets and arranged the whole thing, as she had seen her father peruse a small holiday site for that weekend. As she said, she'd go to any lengths. It was actually only a mediocre band, but she tried to sell it as much as she could. She had convinced Courtney already that he wouldn't get in their way and explained her reasons, to which she had understood. Katie was confident her father would give into her.

'How much is it?'

'£300'

'What?!'

'It's a big band, Courtney was lucky to get one ticket, never mind two!'

'The tickets can't cost £300, that's ridiculous.'

'No, that covers travel and hotel expense in Leeds. God, I wouldn't pay 300 for one ticket!'

'So, you're going alone, with Courtney, and staying over the night with her in Leeds. Absolutely not.'

'Well, that's why I said you'd come along with us.'

'Wait, you did what?'

'Obviously we don't know our way round Leeds, so we need someone there to hold our luggage and things. Oh, and you have to pay £300 separate for you.'

'So basically you're saying I have to pay £600 so I can take us to Leeds to see a band I don't even know the name of the same weekend I could be in France with Clara sitting by the Louvre?'

Katie raised her eyebrows. 'Uh, yeah.'

'No.'

'What?! I've been planning this for months!'

'You never told me about it.'

'It was kind of a last minute surprise. It was up to Courtney buying tickets when they went on sale and she can't get a refund for the other ticket, so we kind of have to go.'

'Are you serious?'

'Uh, no I thought I'd tell you this as a joke.' She said sarcastically.

'I don't know what's a joke and what's not anymore, Katie. I was so sure next weekend was perfect, and now I have to pay for this.' He sighed.

'We can't go to France, darling.' He said, turning to Clara with an apologetic expression on his face.

'It's fine,' she smiled, waving it off, 'I can help you pay for it, though.' She said sweetly. Yeah, right. Katie could tell she'd hit a nerve with Clara. She had been anticipating the trip and she felt supremely triumphant for ruining it.

'No, it's fine. But I promise you we'll get away, I promise.'

She only nodded, and he brushed her cheek with his thumb before he turned back to her. Katie had to hide her repulsion but quickly smiled at his surrendering face. She knew it would work.

'Is this with Courtney Woods?'

'Yep.'

'Oh, Jesus. I get enough of that annoying godforsaken voice in class.' He said wearily.

'Oh don't worry, she feels the same about you too.'

'Yay.' He said lamely, taking out a cider from the fridge, 'are you sure we both have to go, you can't miss out this one and I can take you another time?'

'Dad, they come from America, they hardly ever do European tours.'

'Fine. Fine, let's do it.' He said, smiling a little at her. In that one moment it felt like Clara wasn't in the room, she never invaded their lives and it was like it had been a year prior. He was daring, he was adventurous, he was caring for her. That was exactly how he was and should be. She grinned fully in return, racing up the stairs with a silly smile on her face and only a minuscule feeling of guilt in her stomach.

••••

Clara was a little pissed off, it was true. When John had told her about the trip she had thought it an idyllic holiday they could spend peacefully together, yet Katie had come along with a gig unbeknownst to either of them and sprung it on them so they couldn't refuse. Clara was glad that he was spending more time with Katie, although something about the way she announced it had seemed...false to her, like the opportune time had arrived almost like coincidence but actually planned. But as he stood behind her, arms spreading round her chest and truly apologising she couldn't hold any grudge against it.

'I'm sorry, Clara. I really wasn't expecting to spend that money on her gig, or anything else, but I just couldn't let her down, even when I've been so het up with her and her schemes lately. But I do owe you, and I'll make sure it's personally a very good one.'

His chin rested on her shoulder, his eyes trying to look up at hers.

'I'm not worried about that, really,' she replied, 'I just think maybe Katie's getting too much out of you, testing and testing and getting what she wants all the time. I think you just need to take a little more control when dealing with her,' she said, turning round to face him, 'I'm not saying shut her out and don't give her anything but I'm just wondering if small punishments would drive the behaviour so she would stop doing things against our permission or saying stuff like she did the night of the party,' she swallowed, looking up at him but inside fearing that maybe she'd stepped too far with it, 'I'm not against you going to Leeds with her in anyway, I just wanted to warn you about letting her get everything she wants while driving you crazy.'

A pause ensued, and John deliberated, finally agreeing.

'Yeah, I know what you mean. The stupid party, the arguments, even the damned music playing weeks ago, that all culminates to a punishment and I know it. But truth is, I'm just never in a position to punish Katie, I physically can't do it. When she was young she'd follow her mother's lead no problem, and I never really had to tell her off. I know she doesn't deserve any of what in giving her but she's my daughter and I can't stay mad at her forever. You know how well I can't hold grudges for long.' He answered, taking her arms and coming close enough to kiss him. Clara was impressed with the answer, positively making an impact and changing her mind on the matter. She hoped she would bear the same attitude as him, he always spoke understandingly.

••••

When John had irrevocably sat down on the train he thought of Clara. It was inane, but he already missed her. Sitting there with two teenage girls was like being sent to a gossip gathering at school. If only Clara was there to lighten his mood and keep him occupied he wouldn't have to listen to their colourful and boring conversations. Cities rolled by as the train started to move and John was neither anticipating nor thinking about the gig. Only the train return home. How morbid that sounded as the highlight of his week. However he did take interest in seeing Leeds, as he was a big traveller and liked seeing different places. Seeing Katie happy too also made him smile. There was nothing he liked more than seeing her joyful and lively. She'd always been like that as a little girl and it caused a flood of early memories coming back to him. Courtney it seemed, didn't take notice or interest in him either, so apart from standard speech she mostly ignored him. Which was actually better for both of them, as he had sent her out from his classes too many times to count. Luckily she wasn't showing up like she usually did.

By the time they were in Leeds the heavens had let the rain strike to the ground in a torrential storm, and even lightning had flashed amongst stark grey clouds.

'Perfect weekend you chose.' He said, looking up at the sky from the shelter they were protected under.

'I actually think it was,' Katie said, 'I love lightning.'

'Well, that's a matter of opinion. You know it's 20 degrees in France right now?'

'Ugh, can you stop going on about France? You're here now so stop complaining.'

He snorted, replying sarcastically. 'Yes, ma'am. And I'll make sure you get some extra homework.'

'Uh, no. And you can go to France any time.'

'France is boring,' Courtney interjected, 'we went there two years ago and it was all monuments and statues. And it rained there too.'

'Well, again, that's a matter of opinion,' he said, suddenly thinking of him and Clara relaxing in a cafe somewhere, 'and I'd like to go sooner or later.' He added.

'Come on,' Katie said, pulling him along into the rain. It beat down on him and soon they were all drenched, their clothes sticking to them and his hair especially a mess around his eyes. John had never felt so glad to retreat into a hotel room before a and after parting with the girls he flopped down onto the bed and decided to call Clara. He felt a bit sorry she was stuck alone at home but soon decided she was better off. At least she was dry.

'Are you okay?' She laughed on the other end of the phone, 'you sound annoyed already.'

'I'm not annoyed, just wet. It's been raining non stop since we got here and I'm longing to be back at home with you. I bet you're having a lovely time all alone.'

'I am, actually. Very quiet without you and Katie.'

'I can imagine so.'

'Do you even know what band you're seeing?'

'Uh, not really. Some American band that's popular with teenagers.'

'You do know they're probably playing or already played in London.'

'Yeah, apparently those tickets were sold out, according to Courtney.'

'How is she, you haven't sent her out of the room yet?'

He laughed. 'No, not yet. She's actually alright. She probably just plays up in class, seems a nice girl despite.'

'Good. Glad to hear you're enjoying it and the weather.'

'I wouldn't say enjoying, maybe bearing.'

'Well, let me know how it goes. You'll probably be the oldest person there at the gig.'

'That's encouraging,' he chuckled, 'alright, I'll see you soon. Love you.'

'Love you too.'

After speaking to Clara he felt a lot better and ordered pizza for dinner. While he liked his own company, he much preferred being with other people. By the time he'd gotten ready and dressed Katie was knocking at the door and telling him to hurry up.

The gig itself was a mix of being squashed, shouted at, and surrounded by adolescents. Courtney and Katie seemed to be revelling in it and jumping around wildly amongst everyone else, where they stood dancing for the whole time. John should have checked first where they would be, and as Katie had lead him over to the standing area his fears had been confirmed. He was now stuck in a mosh pit with a bunch of crazy teens shouting and singing coarsely along with the band. The music wasn't too bad, he decided, if a little obscene.

'Why do I even let you listen to this?' He called over to Katie, who was shrieking with the rest of them.

'Because it's amazing.'

They were very close to the stage, and John was suddenly glad he'd spent so much money on the tickets, since it was worth it to them and even he was enjoying it a bit. It lasted until early hours of the morning, and while everyone was still raving at the encore, he was growing tired and drowsy. The effects of a thirty year old man, he guessed. When at last the final song ended there was a raucous round of applause and they left the stage in a haze of smoke that affected the eyes of the audience and the screams started. It felt like his eardrums were going to burst, after all the heavy sounding instruments and vocals that had his head still ringing. He lead Katie and Courtney through the mass of people swarming toward the exits. Everyone was still singing the songs, discussing the quality of the band and how well they had performed. He let the girls walk in front to keep an eye on them and soon they were out of the stuffy and humid arena and outside in the cool night air. The sky was ink black and the moon cast shadows on the pavement illuminated by the lights of the building. He spent a moment catching his breath with the air so crisp and clean and smiled at them both, flushed cheeks from the warmth and hyped up. Hopefully they wouldn't cause him any trouble with sleeping like they did at the damned party. They walked to the nearest bus stop, John yawning and the two of them still talking about it. As soon as they reached their rooms Katie and Courtney rushed into theirs with the same energy while he tirelessly traipsed into his own and collapsed into bed, anticipating seeing Clara again and getting the sleep he needed.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

'How was it?' She asked, taking him into her arms.

'It was alright, actually. Better than I thought it was going to be. Katie enjoyed it.'

'That's good.'

He put all the bags down as Katie returned to her bedroom as usual.

'Hey, come here,' he called, as she walked away. He persisted her, determinately wrapping her up in his arms, swaying side to side like a child. She couldn't help the laughter erupting from her and John pulled away to observe her face.

'I feel really awful,' he said, 'I'm sorry.'

'What? You don't have to apologise,' she said incredulously, 'I told you, it's fine, I understand. You don't have to explain anything to me.'

'I know, but I still feel bad.'

'Well, you don't need to be, so stop. That's an order.'

'Yes, Miss Oswald.'

She smiled, and he pressed a kiss to her lips in response.

'You don't need to be guilty for anything.'

'Okay. But I'll do something nice, I promise.'

'Hey, stop promising and help me with dinner.'

He grinned. It was nice to be back.

'It was hard being alone.' He said.

'Was it really? I enjoyed it.'

'Hey, stop teasing. You missed me and I know it.'

'It was one night, John.'

'And you missed me.'

'What is it with you? Are you just trying to get me to admit I missed you for one night?'

'To make me look like not a fool for saying I missed you.'

'You're so weird. But I missed you.'

He smiled. 'I missed you too, Clara Oswald.'

'You make it sound like we were apart for weeks.'

'That's how it felt.'

'Did it?'

'Yeah. Shows you how bad I am at being alone.'

'Yeah, it does. But you won't ever have to be alone anymore, alright?'

She said, reaching up to kiss his cheek comfortingly. He took those words and kept them with him as he smiled adoringly at his Clara.

••••

Katie was walking toward the P.E block when one of her friends came up to her with a mixture of a shock and disbelief on her face.

'Oh my god, Katie, Jake's just broken up with his girlfriend. And he told me why.'

'What? How the hell did that happen?'

'Last night, he told her he liked someone else. She's been crying all day about it.'

'I can imagine why. Jake's hot as hell.'

'Exactly!' She said, eyes lighting up.

'Okay, you're beginning to freak me out.'

'Just...come over here.'

Katie was dragged over to a group of people loitering around the changing rooms, and her friend pulled her toward a group of boys. She raised her eyebrows at her, turning back to the group with distaste. If her friend was trying to set her up it wouldn't work. She sighed, about to turn away, when someone grabbed her hand. Her eyebrows nearly fell off as she saw Jake there, holding her arm and smiling at her. Katie was overwhelmed and confused at the same time. As clear as it seemed, she couldn't fathom why he was standing there in front of her. Everyone started to watch the spectacle, her cheeks starting to flush embarrassingly. For a long time neither said anything until he spoke in a deep voice while she subconsciously stared up into his captivating blue eyes.

'I don't know how to quite say it...' He began, trying to search for words while she continued to gaze into his face. He had dark hair that framed his face and cheekbones as sharp as a razor blade. In short, he was everything the girls wanted. She saw some of them now watching bewilderingly at the two of them.

'Are you trying to say something, or are you just going to stand there?' She said. He laughed a little.

'Could I just do something?' He asked.

She looked at him like he was joking around.

'Do what?'

He bent down and kissed her, in front of so many people, but Katie decided she didn't care. She kissed him back surprisingly well, and she could just hear the shouts of surprise of the crowd around them. She smiled as she thought of all the girls now suddenly jealous, and as they drew apart she looked into his eyes and nodded.

'You have permission to do that a lot more often.'

He laughed again, and it was like it had been a dream. If someone had told her Jake would kiss her that afternoon she'd have told them they were drunk. But it was definitely real as she glanced at her friends and they grinned disbelievingly back.

'Why?' She asked him.

'You're perfect.' He said.

Her cheeks burned red again. No one had ever called her that.

Unlike all the other boys he was beautiful and kind. Someone that didn't have a reputation of messing people around.

She finally stepped away, comprehending the immense crowd that had gathered around them, grinning stupidly. But one person was glaring at the both of them like she was about to kill her. And them she realised it was the girl Jake had broken up with in favour of her. The awkwardness heightened as they all stared at each other. She could feel Jake's hand on her shoulder, but suddenly she realised the situation felt familiar. It was like Clara and John all over again, and one person standing in their way, which was always her. But now it was the girl standing before them, and in that moment she conclusively knew how it felt to be Clara Oswald.

••••

Clara brushed past him in the corridor, giving him a smile as she passed him, but instead of walking away he beckoned her to his side.

'Are you alright?' She asked, wondering why he had called her over.

'Yeah, I'm fine, but did you hear about Katie?'

'What? No.'

He was grinning. 'I just had the year 10's, and they were all gossiping about the latest break up. Couldn't help hearing into what they were saying. Apparently this boy called Jake split up with this other girl. They'd been going out for a long time when this morning he kissed Katie while she was watching and now the whole year's a riot.'

'What? Jake kissed her?'

'Yeah.' He laughed. 'I bet she really hates us for being at her school. We know everything that goes around.'

'Yeah. But John, don't patronise her. And don't you dare start picking on Jake in lessons. If he likes Katie, he likes her. Don't start questioning him or making him feel uncomfortable.'

'I won't do anything, Clara,' he said unconvincingly.

'She only got kissed by him, don't start acting like she's found her future husband, alright? I know what you're like.'

'Well, this school does seem to have a reputation for it. I wouldn't be surprised if he proposed to her on the spot.' He said, drawing closer.

'Hey, none of that here. Get back to lessons, Mr Smith.' She said, trying to hide her grin.

When Katie arrived at her office Clara smiled at her. Unusually, she smiled back. Maybe she knew how she felt now. Yet she didn't bring up the subject at all, and Clara neither provoked her or mentioned it. She knew she was probably still shocked. Someone like Jake, she knew, was popular with everyone but she didn't see any problem with him. Smart, polite, nice in lessons. How he behaved outside her classroom was unknown to her. She knew all too well what adolescents of their age did. What she herself did at that age. John came in, and to her and Katie's relief he didn't say anything either. In fact, they pretended like they hadn't heard anything about it. That night Katie neither showed any sign of disgust at their actions, if John would kiss her forehead or hug her from behind, she hardly twitched like she usually did. Katie hardly said a thing and they saw she was on her phone a lot more, possibly talking to Jake. When she had disappeared once again, Clara had looked up at him and he'd raised his eyebrows. Katie was finally beginning to understand how it felt to be hated for loving someone.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Her phone buzzed. She didn't reply. It was likely to be Clara, but she couldn't care if she was waiting or not. She had initially arranged to meet her in the car after a dance recital she had to change for, mostly because her father wasn't there at school today. For some reason she felt like there was an explanation but couldn't quite put her finger on it. She decided to switch it off before it annoyed her.

'Hey,' a voice distracted her, making her look up to where his face was, calming her instantly. She never thought a boy could ever put her at such ease as Jake did but all miracles were possible.

'Hi.' She said, leaning on tiptoe to kiss him. While she wasn't Clara's height, Jake was even taller than her father, so he mostly had to bend down for his part. Which she didn't mind at all. She lingered for a moment, smiling against his shoulder. Another thing, she never thought she could rely so heavily on a hug at the end of the day when she was tired of work. Katie could glimpse the sun, brightly casting orange glows.

'Do you have anywhere you need to be?'

She shook her head. Clara was the least of her worries. All she could think about now was Jake's smile as he took her hand. A cheesy and intimate gesture she previously wouldn't have condoned but grown accustomed to. At least it didn't wholly remind her of John and Clara; it was her own relationship now. They walked round to the storage equipment where they'd first kissed, having marked it as a kind of go-to place. She was glad no one was there, that no crowds were following them as they usually would. As if her life needed any more gossip, what with her father's engagement and her relationship, she never got any peace.

Her back touched the brick wall as he leaned over her, a flattering smile on her face.

'Does sir...does your dad know about us? Or Miss Oswald?'

'Probably, the whole school knows, I wouldn't be surprised if they heard about it. I'm just shocked my dad hadn't even asked about you or patronised me or said something. He's usually not so quiet with things like this.'

'Is something else bothering him? I mean, he wasn't in class today.'

She pulled him in closer to her, arms tucking beneath his leather jacket and round his waist, like he was her standing support.

'It's probably just me who's bothering him. But that's only because of Clara. If only he'd just let her go already.'

'I like Miss Oswald, she's alright. I don't get why you seem to hate her so much.'

'Whoa, god Jake, you were doing so well! I liked you and everything before you said that.' She laughed, leaning even further back so her hands came free. But he caught them in his, smiling crookedly, which looked sexy as hell. Katie was all too ensnared by his attractiveness.

'Alright, alright, but she can't be that bad, can she?'

'I'm starting to get worried, can we stop talking about our English teacher? I'm thinking maybe you have a crush on her.' She giggled. What was more, he could always take anything as a joke.

'Ah, sorry, I got caught up in her fascinating literature classes.' He replied sarcastically.

'Is the ex still on your case?'

He paused, although not as long as she had when he had asked about Clara.

'Yeah. Still trying to talk to me and get me back.'

'That won't happen,' she said firmly. 'Have you blocked her?'

'Yeah. Keeps coming up to me though, it's getting creepy.'

'Just tell me when, I'll go slap her round her ugly face.'

'Hey now, you don't want to get in trouble with your dad.' He said.

'Stop it.' She scowled. He wriggled his eyebrows and she smiled lightly, pulling him to her lips, silencing him before he could say anything more. Her arms wrapped round his neck, smiling at the way he held her.

'I have a feeling you're going to be late, I don't want you getting in trouble.'

'Are you serious?' She said, drawing apart to look at his face, 'do you want to get rid of me or something?'

'No, exactly the opposite. I just don't want you being unable to see me further.' His arms encircled her waist as she kissed him again, her fingers catching on his hair reaching just below his shoulders.

'I don't want to leave you. I'm staying as long as I want.' She grinned mischievously.

'You really want a smoke, don't you?'

'I wouldn't say 'want', more 'appreciate'.'

'I'm going to hell for this. Can you imagine if Mr Smith caught us?'

'He's not here, why do you keep worrying?' She laughed.

'I don't want to make bad impressions.'

'Jake, as much as you are popular, you're also a clever student. They'll probably think you'll be able to help me with my maths homework or something.'

'Fair enough.'

'Now, give me one.' She grinned.

'Naughty girl.' He commented, watching her light up.

'You love it.'

'Yeah, my weakness. But why do you smoke?'

'Why do you?'

'Mum died a few years ago. Haven't stopped since.'

'Well, I need it, dealing with Clara every day. Plus, I don't do it everyday. Just if someone has a pack on them.'

'So basically, you steal from people.'

'Yeah.' She laughed.

'You're not your dad at all, you're much more like your mum, aren't you? I can't imagine sir smoking or doing anything of that sort.'

'Yeah, trust me, he's so weak and innocent. Wouldn't dream of doing anything like that. It's pathetic sometimes.'

It was nearing an hour after she was supposed to meet Clara, and she couldn't make herself tear away from him, too irresistible to leave. But he finally had to let her go, with a parting kiss and a promise he'd see her the next day. She left with a light heart and a reckless attitude and walked toward the car park. As soon as she slipped into the front seat she could see how angry Clara was.

'This should be good.' She thought.

For a moment she didn't say anything, just looked on straight ahead of her like she hadn't even noticed she was there. Her arms rested on the steering wheel and her phone was in the open compartment and lit up with a numerous amount of missed calls.

'What the fuck were you doing for an hour?' She said, her voice menacing rather than raised. Katie knew she had much more confidence with swearing, so didn't question it, yet it still came a little unexpected. Clara was always trying to be nice to her. It seemed she'd finally cracked her outer shell and found the hard and raging centre in the middle.

'I've been waiting for you this whole time, I even went back to my office to check if you were there in case you had forgotten. I've been calling and calling, I had no idea where you were.'

'Well, I'm here now. Can you start driving?'

'No, you're telling me exactly where you were, who you were with and what you were doing.'

'I wasn't anywhere.'

'Well, you couldn't have been getting changed all that time. Where were you?'

'Why would I tell you?'

'Look Katie, I don't really care who you're with or what you do, the real problem is that you only think of yourself, and what's good for you. I'm already an hour late, you have no respect for anyone else's schedules at all and I can't believe you think it's okay that people should wait for you left, right and centre. Well, next time you can fucking walk home.'

'What do you think dad would say at you swearing at me like that?' She quipped back.

'I don't really care, to be honest Katie. I've already talked to him about you're disappearance and he isn't too happy about it, either. I really, really didn't need this today,' she sighed, her head nearly banging on the wheel,

'Why?'

'Because it's our two year anniversary and I'm already late for it. Why can't you just do as you're bloody told?'

That's what she was missing. She knew there was a reason, and that had been it. No wonder she'd decided to forget about it.

'You don't have any right to speak to me like that, you're not my mother.' She said, her own voice rising with each word.

'I know that.'

'Can you start driving now?' She said, with more force in her voice.

Clara jutted the keys in the ignition and backed out with an anger that for a moment Katie was positive could cause a crash.

'I know what you've been doing.' She said with a certainty that caught her off guard.

'What?'

'I know exactly what you've been doing,' She repeated, nostrils flaring, 'I can smell it on you.'

Busted. Busted, and she knew it. Covering it up would only make her look pathetic. She was waiting for a shout to come, but it didn't. Instead, she asked tentatively.

'How do you know?'

'It's a strong scent, and I was young once.'

To think Clara might have gotten up to the things she did was almost laughable to her. But underneath the act, there was an unmistakeable toughness and fire that couldn't be extinguished. One that she possessed herself. She guessed they actually had something in common.

'I can also bet you were with Jake.'

Katie arched an eyebrow, watching her, although she didn't look back at her. She gazed at the road with an emptiness but still a splenetic look in her eyes. It was the first time either one had mentioned Jake, and she could have only guessed how they'd found out.

'So what?'

'So, your father would be very angry if he knew you spent an hour with your boyfriend instead of coming straight here.'

'I don't know. He probably won't punish me, though, he never does.'

'Who's to say I can't?'

'Me. Because you are not my mother.'

'But if your dad wanted me to. I could happily do it, Katie,' she threatened, and her pulse ran faster and for a moment she became a lot more vulnerable. She knew Clara was telling the truth.

'But I'm not.'

The words struck her in confusion, her face falling into a puzzled and slightly suspicious expression.

'I know how it feels as a teenager, trust me. I'm not going to tell him you've been smoking with Jake, I won't tell him anything, except that you were late.'

'Why would you do that?'

'To keep you from doing it again. That's how a compromise works. Katie, I won't tell anyone about it, it'll only be our secret, but you have to promise you won't be late again and never keep me waiting for you for more than a second. Are we at an agreement?'

Katie only creased her eyebrows in bewilderment. Why would Clara do that for her? It was only making her feel relieved and grateful toward her, and she didn't want that. But then again, she didn't want her dad finding out she had smoked.

'Yeah.' she decided. Clara was being too nice for someone so angry, it was perplexing at best. She didn't deserve to be helped, even she admitted that.

'There's some spray at the back, cover up the smell. Your dad will never detect it.'

She reached over to the small bag, opening it to find Clara's possessions and a body spray. Taking it out and spraying she couldn't help but sneakily take a look in her purse. There was a tenner and some loose change, various cards and then in the plastic sheet a picture of her and her dad. Clara wasn't even in it, it was just a snapshot of Katie with her dad making a silly face. The only picture she could find of them two together was on the lock screen of her phone, probably taken when they were on the camping trip. Clara was taking the picture, her dad was leaning on her shoulder. She stared a moment until it was growing obvious she was looking in her bag. Discarding the purse and her phone, she threw it to the back again, still wondering why Clara had a picture of her in her purse. Katie had no idea she cared that much. Maybe it was just a cover, to show her dad how much she loved her as a daughter in order for him to do what she wanted. But she was being naive, and she knew that. She guessed no other stepmother would cover for their stepdaughter like that. Katie was surprised she had done any of it, and it kind of made up for her swearing. The rest of the car journey was in silence, Clara focusing on only the road ahead of her. She didn't know if she should say thank you, but it wasn't her style at all. She could even tell her father Clara had swore at her. But that would only exacerbate things. Clara would tell him, for sure if that happened. It was best, in her situation, to just never speak of it again and move forward. As she sprung out of the car she ran upstairs to talk to Jake.

•••

When Clara walked in the first thing she felt was fatigue. She was tired, not just physically, but mentally as well. Her mind had suffered a frenzy of thoughts, her voice had spat out each curse word and made her feel exhausted at the amount of drama. Trying to find Katie, getting worried, becoming furious, and finally keeping secrets from the man she loved, someone who was entitled to know everything but was kept in the dark. It was all too much for her enervated brain.

She saw John standing there, instantly kissing her, hugging her, smiling. She didn't have the energy to smile, even though she wanted to.

'Is it alright? You know, when you called me about Katie you sounded worried, should I make her come back downstairs, punish her, make her apologise-'

'No, it's all settled.' She interrupted, placing a weary hand on his shoulder as she walked past.

'Are you okay?' He asked, holding her waist, kissing her neck again, still trying to comfort her.

'Yeah, I'm just not in the mood.' She walked out of his embrace, collapsing on the sofa with her hand covering her forehead in exasperation.

'Hey, come on.' He said, sitting beside her, arms wide to entwine her into his arms. She heavily gave up and leaned into him.

'I can't believe you had to wait an hour for her, I'm sorry, Clara. I honestly can get her to apologise or make it up to you in some way.'

'Honestly, John...I'm just exhausted. And now I've just messed this all up, because I feel so run down and not how I should on a day like this.'

'You're not messing anything up, I promise.' he said, leaning his head against hers.

'No, I am. I'm just not happy like I should be right now. I don't feel like celebrating anything.'

'We don't have to, if you don't want to. I just want to spend the rest of the evening with you.'

'I just didn't need it today. I really didn't need any complications. After a crap day of work and trying to look forward to what we've planned and then getting stuck in the car waiting for Katie, it's too much.'

'Don't worry, I'm here now.' He said, hugging her tighter, soothingly, and she closed her eyes. He was so calm, so peaceful, and it made her emotions change from one to the other until she was inexorably at peace too. He always had a way of cheering her up, just by being there, even when she didn't want him.

'Let's forget about our plans...how does a glass of wine sound?'

She smiled, eyes still shut. 'Perfect.'

His weight shifted as he got up, coming back with two glasses and a bottle of white, settling back with her.

'How do you always manage to make me feel better again?'

'Because it's practically my job, Clara. All I ever want to do is make you happy.'

His words were so pure, so touching and honest that when she looked up at him she couldn't resist kissing him again.

'I love you.' She murmured, her fingers caressing his cheek and her eyes once again closed.

'I love you too.'

He smiled gently when they drew apart, pulling her closer to his shoulder. He sipped his wine carefully while studying her. It felt like he was memorising every part of her face.

'It's been two years and yet it feels like a lifetime.'

'It will be once you say I do.'

'The anticipation is honestly too much.'

'Well, bonuses are just around the corner and I reckon we should spend some time trying to plan a few things.'

'Sounds great,' he said, 'I remember when I actually first saw you, in the staff room. You had smiled when the headmaster had introduced me, and then I had made a fool out of myself that time I bumped into you in the corridor.'

'You blushed like an idiot,' she laughed, 'but I actually thought it was quite cute.'

'You know the first time I was sure you were the one?'

She speculated, but truthfully couldn't work it out. There were a number of moments it could have

been. She shook her head.

'That time you dumped spaghetti over my head when you got angry on our second date,' he laughed, and she spluttered over her wine, laughing simultaneously, 'when you stalked out, I just thought 'yep, that's the one. That's her'.'

They both laughed together at the reminiscence, Clara completely forgetting about her fatigued state only an hour prior.

'I thought you would have said something like our first kiss or first time or something sweet. No idea it would be that.'

'Yeah, well, you hit me that night, both physically and mentally.'

She giggled again. 'I don't actually remember hitting you.'

'Trust me, you did. I treasure that now, the first time you hit me. I remember it in times of true romance and think 'you can't get better than that'.'

She chuckled again, shaking her head at his humour.

'Why did I even hit you?' She pondered.

'We had an argument, can't remember what it was about. Something stupid, probably.'

'Like all of our fights.'

'I don't think we fight very often, though. Stupid or serious, we never really get full on raging mad at each other, do we?'

'Well, there have been times I've wanted to hit you again,' she said, raising her eyebrows, 'but you're right, we're mostly in the clean.'

'But if anyone of us was to start a fight, it would definitely be you.'

'Rude!' She accused, 'but true. Although you would be the one to come crawling back first.'

'Hey!'

'You can't deny it.' She challenged.

He sighed. 'Fine.'

She smiled, talking further on memories and reminisces, and Clara loved the way he rambled on, about their past, present, and future like he was making vows to her already.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Clara looked over at Katie, only idly writing in her book, uninterested in the topic and of what she was writing about. Some students were like that, others worked hard. She regretted to say she wasn't working hard enough at all, definitely not to the full potential Clara expected of her wild and vivid imagination. She had read her essay twice and it wasn't to any standard she could get above a C. She couldn't cheat the system, and had no intentions to, but she still felt let down. Whatever was distracting her mind, it was distracting her work too. But she had always been like that. Clara typed in a low grade that reflected her work and sighed. John wouldn't be happy with it, but it was a fair grade. She wouldn't dream of marking her up just because she was John's daughter. Writing her report was particularly tricky, especially as she'd have to watch John's reaction to it and no doubt cause an argument between them and Katie's protests. What either of them were to say she didn't know, but knew it wouldn't be received well.

••••

She held the brown papered envelope in her hand, passing it to him.

'John, I'm just going to warn you,' she said, just before he was to rip it open, 'Katie's report doesn't look so good. I graded her fairly on her essay and I quickly looked at what other teachers were saying and overall it doesn't look like she's been doing great.'

'I had a feeling,' he said darkly, 'the last test I set she got a D. I wouldn't expect that from her. I think I need to speak to her about this.' He said, quickly perusing the report with a slight frown on his face. Clara leaned in to see the result and it was as she speculated. Her attitude to learning was poor across the board, and it seemed she wasn't the only one who had commented on her lack of trying. It was even worse she realised, in some subjects. Her highest was a C in art, which was no surprise but still not to full potential.

'We really have to knock some sense into her if she's ever going to do well. These grades don't reflect her ability at all.'

'That was exactly what I thought when writing my own report for her. The average for all the year 10 English students was a C to a B+.'

'Was she really an E in English?'

'From her essay, yes. I don't believe she is at all, though. She could easily achieve a B if she put her mind to it.'

'Even an A.'

'Yes,' she agreed, 'I've set her predicted grade to a C but we both know she can do better.'

'Right,' he says, skimming the letter again before marching to the stairs. When he strode in her bedroom was darkened, music was playing and she was staring intently into the screen of her phone, not noticing his presence.

'Katie.' He called, watching her eyes slowly tear away from her phone and up at him.

'What have I done now?'

'You haven't done anything. That's the problem.'

'Wow, are you seriously telling me off for doing nothing? You've run out of ideas to annoy me already.'

'No, it's about your report. It's not up to standard at all. We expect far better from you, because we know you can easily achieve it.'

'Because you're teachers. Nothing's ever up to your standards. It always have to be perfect.'

'We're not looking for perfection. We're looking for effort. You show none of it, in any of your classes. We want this to change.'

'Who's 'we'.'

'Me and Clara. We want you to work harder.'

'Why, what's the point?'

'See, with that attitude, you seriously won't go anywhere in life. The point is we want you to leave school with good grades, and eventually get a good job with those grades.'

'It's not always down to grades though.'

'It is largely based on them. Trust us, we know, if you want to do what you want you will need qualifications to do it.'

'And you seriously wanted to become a teacher?' She sniggered.

'Yeah. After I failed a test on becoming an astronaut. I knew that wouldn't last anyway, and I'm much better off now because of it. Clara wanted to become...what was it? He shouted over his shoulder, to where Clara was standing just outside.

'A journalist. And I did, for a few years, until I decided teaching was better suited to me. See, that's what you can do. You can start off doing something you like, develop on it, change over jobs multiple times until you settle down in something you love. You can do all of that if you get good grades and you have a lot more options.'

Katie seemed to deliberate it, her eyebrows raising in consideration. It appeared as though she was thinking it over this time, and John's face became hopeful.

'But I'm not smart, so...'

'No, no, no, you are. I bet you, you could be the smartest in your class if you wished to achieve it. Look, we can work something out here, a compromise.'

Katie's eyes flicked upward, almost alarmed, but at what John didn't know. It could have been something he said, but nothing sprang to mind. She was looking up at where Clara stood, but from one second to the next she was looking back at her phone.

'Say if I told you...if you work hard and get some better grades by your next report I'll take you somewhere at the end of the month...anywhere you want. Or anything else you can thick of in fact, as a motivator.'

'No.' She replied, quite firmly. John's eyes widened.

'No?!'

'No compromises, no promises, no working hard. You can't tell me how to live my life or how to act so you can stay out of both.'

'I've no idea where this is coming from, Katie, and I'm only trying to help you!'

'I don't want or need your help.'

'Fine,' he said, standing up, 'if you don't want reward, you'll just have to get nothing. You're working an hour after school everyday for revision and you're grounded for two weeks, do you hear?'

His voice was firmer than anyone had ever heard it, and Katie watched him intensely as her mouth pursed in anger.

'What the hell do you mean?' She shouted.

'If there is any other way to get you working harder for grades you should deserve, this is the way. I need to enforce a little bit of control around here because so far everything you want, you get and I'm sick of it. That is what I mean.'

He began to back out of the room when Katie's voice penetrated his ears and his expression fell.

'I hate you.'

'No,' he said, 'one day you'll thank me.'

He closed the door behind him, not even glancing at Clara as he thumped down the stairs.

'You grounded her.' She said incredulously.

'Yeah, I've had enough.'

'Well, I'm proud of you,' she replied, putting her hands on his shoulders, 'although I am surprised at the punishment.'

'Are you?'

'The revision makes sense. The grounding was unforeseen.'

'Do you think I took it too far?'

'No. I think what you did was fair to both of you. You gave her a choice, she refused. Best thing you could have done for her.'

'I'll probably end up regretting the decision,' he answered, walking round to take a bottle out of the fridge, 'she'll be wanting every single second of our attention to sidetrack us. She's never going to complete an hour of work, which is why I think the grounding makes sense.'

'I agree.'

'I need somewhere to go, I can't stay here, I need some fresh air,' he proceeded toward the door, shrugging on his coat.

'Where?'

'I don't know, anywhere but here. I can't put up with her crap, I just do to want to talk to anyone right now,'

'Hey, hey, hey, calm down, John.'

She tried to stop him, hands catching his jacket lapel. He was moving too fast, and his sudden erratic nature was both confusing and worrying her.

'No, Clara, I just want to get a drink, I just want to get out for a few hours, alright?'

'You already have a drink. Don't you want me to go with you?'

'No, Clara, I just want to go alone!' He stared at her, and she knew he was hurting, she knew something had affected him. He looked dizzy, disorientated. She took his shoulders again, caressing his cheek.

'What's on your mind? What are you thinking, John, tell me.'

'I-I don't know.' He trembled, hands, face, while body starting to shake.

'I just-I just want to go somewhere.'

His last word ended on a whisper and he closed his eyes for a moment, until his body went limp. He fell to the floor, Clara sinking to her knees, trying to wake him up but he gave no response. He'd shut down completely. She had no idea why and how it had happened but she grabbed the phone to call for an ambulance. Katie came down at her cries and rushed to her side, shaking John, but nothing prevailed. Soon enough ambulance men were carrying his body to the vehicle and it was heartbreaking to see him defenceless, wires running up and down his body, an oxygen mask over his mouth. Clara herself was shaking as she sat beside him, wrapping his hand up in hers and kissing it. As Clara looked over at Katie she saw a look of undeniable guilt and knew she was blaming herself for his fainting.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

'What was it?' She demanded.

'He's in a coma. No heart conditions or anything. But we think it was due to stress levels and extreme fatigue. His brain suffered an instant shut down. We're going to wake him up in half an hour, if he can breathe without the machine he'll most likely be alright. If he isn't breathing, he'll need more medical attention.'

'Can I see him?'

'He's not awake.'

'Can I see him?' She repeated, fiercer.

'Fine.' He sighed.

She saw him lying there, asleep as promised and paler than she'd ever seen him. She knelt beside him, carefully lifting his fingers and holding them in her own. The ring on her finger touched his skin, his hair was messy and he felt cold. Katie sat on his other side. Clara gently kissed his forehead, smiling with hope but bittersweet sadness.

'Too much stress, too much fatigue...I know I caused it.' Katie said into the silence, and for the first time since they it had happened she looked her fully in the eyes. Guilt was an understatement. She couldn't imagine how bad Katie was feeling.

'No, you didn't cause it.' She said. It was all she really could say.

'I did. He wouldn't be here if I hadn't argued with him. Perhaps I've been arguing with him too much lately.'

'When you said 'I hate you' It didn't help. I think he got a bit anxious at that. But honestly, Katie, he doesn't and won't blame you and I don't either. He was looking a little rougher than normal anyway.'

She didn't respond, only stared at him with an an unhealthy expression of remorse. She hoped he would come out of it, hoped with all her heart he could still breathe on his own. Looking down at him now she realised just how devastating life would become if he didn't. If he didn't for another two weeks, or two months, or two years. But she was thinking negatively. She shook herself out of it, instead concentrating on his face and knowing he was an incredibly strong man. There could be no risk. Not with John.

They stayed there as long as they could, Clara almost refusing when the doctor had made a reappearance. It was actually Katie that had to drag her out of there.

'When are they doing it?'

'In just a moment. You can see him again after, whether awake or not.'

He began to walk away when she turned to him again.

'What are the chances? Do you think he'll be able to pull out of it?'

'I think it's good to hope. He's a very healthy man, no long histories of any diseases. I think he should make a good recovery, and if I were you I wouldn't worry about it, Miss Oswald.'

She nodded to his reassurances, despite hearing what she wanted to hear it didn't improve her mood. They sat in the silent waiting room, neither of them saying anything. Clara fiddled with her fingers, an anxious gesture she picked up when nervous. After a wait that felt like an infinity the doctors reappeared, retreating from his room. She rushed up to one of them, her heart still hopeful.

'Is he awake?'

The nurse smiled, nodding. 'He'll still need more rest, but as soon as he's had an efficient amount we can let him go.'

Clara breathed a jovial sigh of relief and pushed into the room.

He smiled weakly at them and Clara rushed to his side, standing over him, stroking his hair. His voice was croaky but discernible.

'Clara.'

She nodded, kissing his hand. 'I'm so relieved you're awake. I was terrified.'

'You didn't have to be, Clara. It was only minor, and I feel like I've rested for years. I just want to get up.'

'You are lying down and staying there as soon as the doctors say you can.' She commanded.

'Dad, I'm sorry.'

'Katie.' He smiled, turning his head to where she stood. The look on his face was even more painful when she felt culpability.

'What do you mean?'

'I got you worked up and angry. It's what caused you to faint. I'm sorry.'

'Don't be silly,' he laughed, taking her hand, 'I was worrying and thinking too much. I was tired and overwrought. It's not your fault at all.'

'Are you okay, though? You're not in pain or anything?'

'Clara, I'm fine.' He chuckled.

'It's not something to laugh about. It could have been serious, a lot worse could have happened to you.'

'Don't focus on what might have been. I'm perfectly healthy and well, Clara. Trust me.'

His eyes penetrated hers so deeply she could hardly speak.

'Go back to sleep.' Katie said.

'I don't want to, not while you're here.'

She sighed. 'We'll have to leave him.' She told Clara.

'I don't want to leave him.'

'Hey,' he reached up to cup her cheek, averting her eyes back to his powerful gaze, 'stop worrying about me. I'm better already now you're here. I promise you I'll rest after you've gone.'

She nodded, bending down to kiss him and then dropping his hand. 'Sleep well.'

'I will.' He smiled. Katie and Clara walked out together, leaving him there.

They waited, Clara refusing to go back home until he was with them. After a while the doctor finally told them he was discharged from the hospital. She smiled widely when she saw him again marching out of the ward and toward them.

'You don't ever do that to me again, you hear?' She said, poking him lightly in the chest.

'Why, did I scare you?'

'Yes! I thought you'd had a heart attack or something! What if you hadn't woken up?'

'Well, you've changed mood since I last saw you. Now you're more angry than worried. You're so confusing.'

'Shut up and get in the car.' She shook her head at him as he grinned.

•••

Her phone lit up again, and she looked longingly at it. Despite her regret at ever having said anything bad against him, her dad had decided she was still grounded. And still doing the revision after school. While she had been glad he'd recovered quickly he was still behaving strictly. She hadn't seen Jake since that day and was missing him sorely. Her brain was currently frozen in a state of boredom and agitation. The science anthology in front of her didn't make any sense and she'd soon given up on it all. The piece of paper in front of her only had a few lines and doodles in the corner. After she had been caught on the phone to Jake her father had banned her from using her phone while working. He examined her progress now, raising his eyebrows.

'Keep up, Katie. Write.'

'It doesn't make sense at all.'

'It does if you read it carefully.'

'I don't read. I'm not Clara.'

'It would help if you did, though. Knowledge is power. Come on, write some key facts down.'

'Having a dad that works as a teacher sucks. I bet no one else gets this treatment.'

'Only if they're not working to their full potential. I've told you this already.'

'Can I stop now? It's been more than an hour.'

'Half an hour. And not until you have at least a page of useful information.'

'Why am I grounded as well, though?'

'Because you've been driving me in like crazy, now stop asking questions and get something down.'

'Fine.' She huffed.

John watched her write, sometimes offering sections she could write or correcting a spelling or grammar mistake.

'Can I go now?' She said, her face creased up in desperation. He viewed his watch, pausing before he spoke.

'Yeah, okay, go on.'

She bolted jubilantly, but not before she took her phone.

•••

'Aren't you supposed to be in bed?' She rounded his chair, coming to stop at his shoulders. It had become a running joke that whenever he stayed up later she would tell him to go to bed. Sometimes he did in fact, but mostly it was only a reminder to stay calm.

'I still have to plan,' he said, rubbing his hands over his face, 'two more lessons. You wouldn't mind doing the second one for me?'

'No.' She smiled, taking a seat next to him.

'They're studying poetry.'

'I'm guessing this is the year 11's.'

'Yep.'

'Why don't you go to sleep, I'll do both of them.'

'What? No, Clara, I'm fine.'

'Don't say that.'

'Say what?'

'Say that you're fine. You're tired, I can see that. I'll finish these up for you.'

'Clara if this is about my fainting, I-'

'No, you're not changing my mind. You could still have been in a coma now, John. Just go get some rest. I still can't believe you want to get back to work so early.'

'It was nothing major. I didn't harm myself, no side effects, no serious conditions. When I say I'm fine, it means I'm fine.'

'Just go. You're tired.'

'I'm not going to argue with you, Clara, there's no point.' He replied restlessly.

'Exactly. Too many arguments is what caused it.'

He shook his head at her, gazing at her in wonder. 'There's no way I can win. There never is.'

'No.' She laughed, pecking his cheek.

'I was thinking, we could try get away again. One weekend.'

'Well, we can't this week or next.'

'Why not?'

'Katie's grounded.'

'Ugh, every decision I make comes back to haunt me.'

'You did kind of set that upon yourself, didn't you?' She grinned.

'Feels like we never get anywhere with anything. Something always gets in the way. Do you want to watch a movie, Clara?'

'What? There's all this work to do, you know that.'

'Ah, forget about it. Doesn't matter.'

'It does, otherwise there are no lessons tomorrow.'

'Come on,' he beckoned, 'or I won't get the rest you want me to have. Watch this with me and I will.'

'Why are you blackmailing me?'

'Because it's the only thing that works.'

'You tell me I change my mind quickly, you change in two seconds.'

'Come on.' He smiled, collapsing on the sofa.

'Are you serious?'

'Yeah, just leave the work, I'll do it tomorrow. I'm a bit tired, as you say.'

'You're such an asshole.'

'I know.'

She lay beside him, barely hearing or seeing anything on the screen but comfortably laying with him until they both fell asleep.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Clara and John were sitting there with bills scattered around them when Katie came down, already in a cheerful mood.

'How many?'

'150? 200?'

'Probably a bit less than that, I hardly have any family on my side.'

'100 then, at least.'

'I guess so.'

As Katie stared closer she realised the bills weren't bills, but wedding plans. As she took a carton of juice from the grudge she rolled her eyes. They had brought that one up again. Sighing, she didn't speak to either of them and retreated back to her room. It hadn't affected her mood however, which was untarnished and excitable. She had arranged a day with her mum for the first time since last year, and of course without John's knowing. Any opportunity she wasn't travelling was good enough for her, and days came and went so fast. She had longed to see her, have her mother by her side, and not some woman with an articulate obsession with Jane Austen. She waited and waited for 12 o'clock to roll around, every minute feeling like an hour. Her mum wasn't exactly a punctual woman, but she always kept her word. Sure enough, when the doorbell rang a wide grin split her features and she raced down the stairs, watching as Clara opened the door to a lady that towered over her in height. Clara's eyebrows raised and called to John, who froze with horror when he saw her.

'You're Clara Oswald, are you?'

'Uhm, yes.'

'Shorter than I expected.'

'Okay...'

She strode in without invitation, facing John with a smile on her face.

'Hello, sweetie.'

'What are you doing here?' He asked.

'Taking my daughter out for the day. Is that a problem?'

'Yes, it is. You don't have any claim over her, I have full custody.'

'Yes,' she replied coolly, 'and I'm her mother.'

'You've been travelling since you left me, you've hardly made any effort to be in Katie's life so I don't know why you're suddenly fighting so hard.'

'John,' Clara interjected, placing a hand on his arm, 'it's just a day.'

'Listen to your fiancée, John. Better than you listened to me, anyway.'

'How did you just suddenly decide you'd come over here and take Katie out?'

'She wanted me to. I told her I would come the first day I was off.'

'John, you're not stopping me so I wouldn't try it. Just because you've got a nice job and a girlfriend doesn't make me less able to look after her.'

'We've had this conversation already River, you travel all around the world, you can't take her everywhere with you and you can't leave her alone and come back late at night. You're just not capable of looking after her. You've always been wild and adventurous and she needs someone always there.'

'I am in the room,' Katie stated, 'can we stop talking like I'm a child?

'You are still a child.' John replied.

'Let her,' Clara said suddenly, still sticking up for her, for what reason she didn't know, 'they haven't seen each other for a while. As long as she gets back by the end of the day it shouldn't be any problem.'

John sighed heavily, still conflicted. River stood with the same defiance as she did and a glance in her direction offered a wink.

'You can't keep me from her forever.' River concluded, smiling winningly.

'Fine, alright.' He said, throwing up his hands in defeat. 'But you bring her back after dinner.'

'Yeah, whatever you want.'

She smiled at Katie, and she returned the smile jovially. It felt so good to see her.

'Right then. Only around seven hours, better get going.'

They proceeded toward the door, her dad still staring disapprovingly.

'Congratulations, by the way. Katie told me. Make sure he doesn't wear his fez.' She smiled at Clara.

John glared silently as she left, and Katie started to laugh. It was going to be an amazing day with her mum, something she had wanted for a long time.

'Where are we going?'

'Lunch?'

'Good idea.'

Her mum was so energetic, badass, everything her dad wasn't. Both of their personalities clashed. Yet she had turned out most like her mum in personality, her dad in appearance.

'Where have you been, then? What parts of the world?'

'Just back from an archeological dig in Russia. I'm due for Dallas tomorrow.'

'Cool. Things are really boring here in comparison.'

'Why? Is it that Clara person?'

'Mhm,' she murmured, sipping on her milkshake, 'she's so dull.'

'Isn't she your teacher as well?'

'Yep. Embarrassing, stupid, annoying. They're everywhere I go.' She complained.

'I feel sorry for you. Clara doesn't look interesting at all. Bit plain.'

'You're telling me,' she scoffed, 'I wish I could go travelling with you.'

'I know. And I really would if I could.'

'It's killing me, living with them. They want a wedding and a family like I'm not good enough for them. It's sickening.'

'Wait, really?' She laughed, 'John better be prepared. I remember what he was like with you. Paranoid. Uptight.'

'He hasn't changed. I really just don't want to deal with annoying little Clara's around me. I'll be moving out before that happens.'

'Well all you have to do is keep then away from each other. Make distractions.'

'Trust me, I've been to Leeds and back and done extra homework for it. I'm not giving up that easily.'

'Just raise a little hell. Make Clara want to leave.'

Katie began to grin at the idea. She was very closely tied with her dad but it probably wouldn't take much to get her to break. She knew Clara had a fierce temper and a burning impatience.

'I'll do that,' she nodded. It was a growing idea, something she was glad to elaborate and put into action. The rest of the day was positively the best day that year, her mum buying her things, making her smile twice as many times than usual and discussing everything they had missed.

••••

Clara could see the look of dread on his face and couldn't comprehend what was so bad about the situation.

'Why were you so reluctant?' She asked.

'Because River is a bad influence and a horrific example of being a mother. She chose her work, Clara. She chose travelling and work over her own daughter. And Katie still acts like she's the world's best mum. It's not right to mislead someone like that.'

'But they get on, Katie thinks the world of her and that's not a bad thing.'

'Seeing her again, though...it was a very unexpected shock.'

Clara herself didn't know what to think of her, a smirky smile and bouncy blonde curls that framed her face. She did admittedly look less of a mother and more of a free spirited traveller but there couldn't be any doubt that she loved Katie. She had also noticed how very similar they were, Katie having inherited her sarcastic nature and commandeering attitude. Even the way she spoke and some of the things she said was something Katie would say.

'Why are you always defending her? I've always wanted you to treat her fairly but you always seem to take her word over mine.'

'Because,' she said, stepping forward and placing her hands on either side of his waist, 'I was Katie once, remember? My mum died, and that's why I would encourage more visits from River, because I don't want Katie missing out on all the years I've missed out with my own mum. And I understand why she doesn't like me, I really do. I've never liked Linda either, my stepmother.'

'You know sometimes I think you could solve any problem in the world.' He smiled.

'You do realise that I can solve a problem right now.'

'What problem?'

She leaned on tiptoe and kissed him, John instantly drawing her close to him. He knew exactly what she was thinking, smiling at the realisation. No one, except them. She quickly pulled off his shirt and he was kissing her aggressively, walking blindly toward the general area of the stairs. His fingers threaded through her hair, each touch of skin felt like a revelation and it was a relieving feeling to return to that comfort in her arms. Something inside him was bubbling with anticipation, every step drawing closer. Clara felt the planes of his chest while he pulled her tighter to him, outlining the curve of her body, driving his tongue between her teeth with a force unexplainable to him. He climactically picked her up, her legs wrapping round his waist as he stumbled up stairs. He was too caught up in her to notice the door was only a few feet away and instead crumpled to the floor with Clara straddling him. It seemed almost too good to be true. Her lips caressed his teasingly, lightly. His hands slipped underneath her shirt, his mouth kissing her neck as she moaned into his ear. He grinned, rolling her over so he was atop her, finally discarding her shirt and letting his hands glide over her stomach, kissing any space he could. He could feel his pants become tighter as his arousal became apparent and Clara brought her lips to his again. Her hands roped to his neck, up into his hair as he grinded against her.

'John, we're doing this on the floor.' She laughed breathlessly, 'the bedroom's only two steps ahead of us.'

He considered a moment, pressing another kiss to her lips and scrambling off her to pick her up from the floor. He lead her to the edge of the bed where they fell together, Clara's hair spread around her like a halo. He grinned as she unbuttoned his jeans, and soon enough all clothing was abandoned on the floor. She guided into her with a moan as her fingers anchored in his hair and he rocked against her, building up to the climax that had her head reeling. It felt incredibly gratifying to feel the pull of such bliss like he hadn't fully felt in ages with Clara. Everything kept getting in the way and now it was like heaven on earth. He sunk deeper into her with a throaty groan, his lips attached to hers. He drove faster and harder until neither could hardly breathe and as he came Clara kissed him again, pushing him further over the edge. They didn't break away, still tenderly caressing each other's bodies and graciously grazing over skin.

'It's 2 o'clock and we have five hours left.' He said, staring at the clock. Clara started to kiss him again, smiling against his mouth.

'Better make it worthwhile, then.'

With a laugh he rolled to the side, beginning again the overwhelming pleasure, indulging himself with Clara and feeling like the luckiest man alive because of it. When he looked into her eyes again he saw endless stars and galaxies and the love he'd been wanting for so long.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Katie stared at the blank, silent walls and once again wigs he'd age was with her mother. Sailing an ocean on a ship, soaring through the sky on plane, road trips to European countries, anything. She couldn't think of anything else she'd rather do. What her mum did for a job was like a dream to her; travelling all over the world with no end. And she had decided that as soon as she turned eighteen she'd be jetting off right by her side. She had nearly gone with her that day, nearly escaped the insipid area and her guardians. It had been on her mind for a while, even though it had nearly been a month the last time she'd seen her. Although she had told her to message her whenever she wanted it still didn't feel the same. She didn't want a mother on speed dial, she wanted her with her. The shadows were making patterns, shapes, dancing on the edge of the ceiling, nearing closer to her like dreaded, gnarled fingers the size of branches. It didn't disturb her, but brought back a memory. As a child she had this vision of those shadows becoming alive, coming for her, never stopping. She wasn't in danger, she was confident of that, but in her head she got the picture of a menacing shadow and she felt it was real so it might have well been. But after her mum and dad had rushed in, comforted her, she never saw them again. Katie knew she would never get that from Clara, the same consoling touch of a mother who cared. She was already anticipating another visit from River.

The insomnia was catching her up, making her eyes droop but not forcing them to close properly. She grew frustrated with every minute and considered banging her head against the wall when a low, pitching sound reached through the disgustingly thin walls and her face filled with dread. Why they hadn't stopped trying already was beyond her but right then she was more concerned about going to sleep. It was just past one o'clock and she had school the next day. At least she had an excuse for them when she turned up late. What damaged their relationship would definitely be their jobs so she figured her excuse would come to good use in time. As sounds started to terrifying creep her out she crept out of bed and as far away as it would let her. It wouldn't help her go to sleep, it wouldn't help her plans, so when the idea of an even larger disrupting sound came to mind she grinned at the genius of it. Acting skills coming into play, she rushed toward the bathroom loudly, closed the door behind her and retched over the toilet seat. Not only would her being fake sick deliver a distraction but also a free day off school. It was perfect. She retched again, breathing haggard in effect until she heard her dad's footsteps across the floor and coming to a stop at the door. Before he could open it she flushed the chain and put on a disguising face of repugnance and worry. Her dad stood by her side, asking her whether she was alright and what it could have been. She had told him in return it was probably illness she had caught from one of her friends. He stayed with her a while, and it felt like she was a little kid again, being reassured by her dad who made her smile and offered glasses of water. While she obviously didn't retch again it had been enough to convince him and she even saw Clara staring worriedly at her from the doorframe. One thing was for sure; her peace would be intact once again for the rest of the night. If this had been a competition, she was surely on a winning streak. Everything was a triumph in her head and as her dad helped her back up again she smiled at him in thanks. He lingered at the side of her bed, pressing a kiss to her forehead and retreating quietly back to his own. Funny how parents always seemed nicer when their kids were ill. At least she'd gained some sympathy and no doubt room service for the next few days. As she grinned in her sleep she advised herself again to use the neat, little trick which not only gave her the silent night she deserved but a kind and gentle dad again.

•••

In the morning it was everything she had expected. Clara had brought her breakfast in bed and her dad had even gave her money to but something that would cheer her up. In light of what had happened they were treating her excessively and being cloy. And the best part was that they still had to go to school.

'You'll be okay on your own, yeah? If you're sick again and need help or something just call us.'

'Yeah, I'll be fine.'

'Good. Get well and don't eat too much.'

'That's not a guarantee.' She chuckled in reply.

When the sound of the door finally banging closer she leaned back and sighed relaxedly. It was days like this, particularly when she was on her own, that really emphasised the sweetness of life. She could hardly believe her dad had given her money, nor Clara making her breakfast and tea and wishing her well. She spent most of the morning texting her mum, arranging another day with her as soon as possible. She went out for lunch with her dad's money, getting a McDonald's and taking it back home with her where she could leisurely use up the wifi without being shouted at to stop taking it all. She also started to ring her dad up, most conveniently during lessons so she interrupted him like he most definitely interrupted her, asking about the location of things or how to do something. By the fourth call he told her he really couldn't take anymore calls as it was distracting his class and in lieu she rang Clara. It surely pissed her off, which put a mischievous smile on her face. The whole day went by increasingly quickly than it would have if she were at school, the result of having too much fun. As she looked up at the bright blue, cheery sky through her window she wondered what her mum was doing right now, in what part of the country and if she was thinking about her.

••••

Clara's head rested just below his jaw and his eyes lowered to look at her. It had been one of the few days she felt like crap, mostly from work. Everything had gotten her down lately, even planning their wedding was hardly of interest. They were still in bed despite it being only half an hour until they had to leave and they were both in pyjamas. John had tried to persuade her to stay at home but she was too passionate about her work, undeterred by her lack of motive. She had also been feeling a fraction feverish, her temperature hotter than normal, going from what John said. Katie had returned to school after two days off and they could hear her sluggish movements from her bedroom.

'We need to get up.' She said, turning away from his gaze. He sighed a little, but straightened.

'Yeah, I guess we do.'

She knew they would be late but couldn't care for the moment. All she wanted was his arms around her all at once and a calm, tranquil peace. She couldn't believe she was going in today, couldn't find why. It had been her decision after all. She moved off him as he started to dress but she found she couldn't even find the energy to stand up herself and make it to the wardrobe. John looked down at her worriedly as he fixed his bow tie, staring into her eyes like he was inspecting her.

'Are you sure you're alright, Clara?'

She nodded but didn't make any move to get up. She didn't say anything as he took her hand and pulled her up, hugging her affectionately.

'I don't feel too great, either. I feel lazy and not bothered about anything at the moment.' He said, nuzzling his nose into her shoulder, calming her down already. Time was ticking by and he finally let her go. They only had ten minutes to get dressed and eat but it didn't seem very important. John was only half dressed anyway and she didn't have much of an appetite.

'You sure you want to come in today? I can cover one of your lessons I think, third period.'

'No, I need to, they're starting a new unit today.'

John gave her a look that almost made her rethink her decision. And then the surge of sickness appeared in her throat and without a word she bolted from the room to the toilet. John raced after her, holding her as she threw up and gently murmuring assurances.

'You're definitely not going into work now,' he said, kneeling beside her and tucking her hair behind her ears, 'I knew you had caught Katie's illness.'

She was sick some more but it was weirder and stranger, not like she remembered being sick was. She felt nauseous and grabbed onto John when she stood up.

'I should take the day off too, look after you.'

'No, it's okay. I'm fine. And you need to take Katie to school anyway.'

'Clara, you're as pale as a ghost, you needed support standing up, I think it's best if I stay here.'

As if to emphasise this she fell to the floor again and emptied into the toilet bowl. John took her burning face in his hands. She really wanted him there but for some reason her conscience was fighting against her wishes, telling her it was better to be alone. She couldn't figure out why.

'John, please, go to work. I'll be alright, I have my books to read and TV shows to watch, I'll be fine. I really don't want both of us behind on our work.'

Although he still fought to stay with her he knew she was right.

'As the head of English, you need to go in and teach some kids the ABC's you hear me?'

He laughed, hands placed on her shoulders.

'Yes, miss. But if you need anything, you call me straight away.'

'I will, I promise.'

'Okay,' He agreed, kissing her forehead, 'I better get going if we're ever gonna get there in time. I'll see you later. Try get better for me, eh?'

'I'll try.'

He smiled at her before he left the room, making her feel a flutter of hope. She couldn't explain how she was feeling but it was definitely something new.

•••

John settled at his desk, thinking much less of the task at hand and more about Clara. He had told Katie she'd caught her sickness but she hadn't responded. He thought for a moment about Katie and River, wondering if she saw her mother more often she'd warm to Clara and view her more as a friend than a stepmother. As much as she was right about coming into work he couldn't help long to be back with her.

It was nearing lunchtime when his phone rang. He stared at it in mild horror, trying to banish pushing thoughts into his head as he excused himself from a student and picked it up from his desk. It was indeed Clara. Answering the phone with a worried note in his voice he hoped it wasn't anything bad.

'Are you alright?' He asked, nervously fiddling with his braces.

'Uhm...yes and no.'

'What?'

'I think you should come back.'

'Why, is everything alright?'

'Yes. But, uh, I'll tell you when you get here.'

'Clara-'

Before he could say anything she hung up and John raced out of the classroom, uncaring of the curious and confused students watching him.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

When he rushed through the door he found Clara sitting there and he immediately embraced her. Whatever it had been that had needed him back home was something important and he made note to calm down and hear what she had to say before jumping to conclusions. It didn't have him any less worried, though. He drew apart to look at her face, still pale but with an unusual expression of shock or anxiety, he didn't know. He took her shoulders in his hands, looking down at her in adoring anguish.

'What's wrong?' He said gently. She looked nervous.

'Nothing's really...wrong.'

'What do you mean?'

'I don't think I ever got illness from Katie.'

He stared hard at her, trying to comprehend until it suddenly struck him.

'Are you trying to say...'

'I think I'm pregnant.' She finished. The look on his face must have betrayed his emotions, because inside he was screaming yet he was pretty sure he looked just as shocked as she did. He stared, unable to say a thing. Nothing could describe how he was feeling at that moment, something extraordinary he couldn't name. Clara searched his face, probably trying to determine a reaction but only starting to become anxious at his lack of speech.

'Say something.' She prompted.

He stuttered, shaking his head. He couldn't find anything, any words to say. Instead he unexpectedly picked her up and whirled her around with a face of exultance and pride. As he held Clara in her arms the only thing he could think of was how overjoyed he was. Knowing he was going to be a father to another child, Clara's child, was the most amazing news he could ever have received in the situation. He kissed her in excitement, knowing just how much he had wanted this.

'I've no other way to describe it than say I am so, so happy.'

'I'm glad,' she said, holding him tighter and smiling for the first time, 'I am too.'

'But,' she began, looking him straight in the eye, 'we didn't really plan this well. I want to have the baby before our wedding, so it will have to be pushed back nine months or so.'

'Of course, anything for you. I think we should focus on the little one before we go rushing ahead.'

'Yeah, it's what I was thinking. John, I actually can't wait. I can't contain the anticipation and the nervousness right now, I feel like I'm about to explode.'

'Well, let's sit you down then,' he suggested, making his way toward the kitchen, 'tea?'

'Yeah, I think I'll need it. I've had enough surprises for one day.'

'But it was a good surprise, right?'

'Yes it was. But I can't help thinking through things so heavily, it's like my brain can't comprehend it at all.'

He grinned and handed her tea, kneeling in front of her and looking up trustingly.

'I can barely make sense of it either. All I know is that suddenly we're having a baby and it's all I can think about now. I don't think my mind will be anywhere else for a while.'

'Mine either. I'm just a mix of emotions, really. Happy, anxious, paranoid, shocked. I still can't believe it. When do we tell everyone, though? When do we tell Katie?'

His eyes averted to her stomach for a second, imagining a life there that was growing and developing and his child. It seemed almost impossible. But he knew Katie would take the news differently, a shock much stronger than theirs. And with Clara's emotions due to fluctuate he didn't think either of them could handle her reaction. Also he was so wondrously thrilled he couldn't bear to think of his mood being dampened by Katie's anger and jealousy.

'No, we don't tell her yet. We don't tell anyone, except your dad if you wanted to. Not until it becomes obvious, because I don't want the whole school knowing before we do for certain.'

'Are you sure about Katie? She won't like it but she has a right to know. It is her half-brother or sister after all.'

'I don't like keeping secrets from Katie, admittedly, but I just want to spend a day or two getting used to the idea. I just want it to be us two that knows for a while.'

'Alright,' she agreed, 'but you will tell her eventually, right?'

'Yes, I promise.' He said sincerely, moving to position himself next to her.

'I know it might be too early to know but what do you think it will be?'

'Ive only just gotten used to the idea, John, never mind speculate the gender!' She laughed, 'but if I had to guess I think I have a hunch it might be a girl. But I've no real way of telling, so I'm not sure.'

'I would love another girl,' he replied, sitting back and extending his arm around her, 'but a boy would be good too. I might not be the only man in the house. God, to think I set off to work this morning hoping you were okay and now I'm sitting here next to my pregnant fiancée, it's crazy. Life changing, it really is. I always knew that when Katie was born. And you will be a fantastic mother.' He ended, kissing her again.

'I'll need to pick Katie back up from school in a few hours. Are you coming?'

'No, I'm tired.'

'I kind of expect you to be. Bed rest for the next eight months.'

'I want to get this term over at school though, I'll leave after that.'

'Are you sure?'

'Yeah. I can't leave so much work undone.'

'I know what you mean.'

He felt her lean into him so he wrapped his arms round her and smiled.

'John, will everything be okay?'

It was a very dependant question and for a second he was stuck with his answer. Someone who asked that was usually looking for consolation or incentive. He decided to give her both, let her think about the good attributes.

'Yeah, and I'm confident of that. I think everything will be fine. And even if there are complications with certain things we'll get through them, you know? I know it's scary because it's your first child and you don't quite know what to do but I'm sure you'll be fine. If you keep thinking positive, the more you'll feel better.'

A load of motivational crap, but at least he'd told the truth. He didn't care much for the whole answer but if it's what she wanted to hear he had no problems with focusing on positive thinking. He knew Clara would have never asked him that if she wasn't terrified, and held her reassuringly to calm her.

•••

'Where have you been?'

'What do you mean?'

'People said you just walked out of class.'

Katie was swivelling around in his desk chair while he was gathering up his work.

'I did. Important meeting I was late for. I forgot about it.'

'Apparently you looked scared and actually ran out.'

He looked down at Katie, unknowingly unconvincing. 'That's not true!'

'Mmhm, okay then.' She smiled, swivelling again.

'What was the meeting?' She inquired. He guessed it wasn't so much finding out than casual conversation.

'Boring things mostly. Education curriculum. That sort of thing.'

'You've never told me properly dad, why did you so desire to become a teacher? I understand Clara, because she's boring but you're a lot better than that.'

He didn't know whether to feel insulted or complimented.

'Because it's a good job, you feel like you're helping someone in the world and that's not a bad thing. You can really aid people in achieving what they want. And I like English and Art, so it's a good fit for me.'

'Yeah, but there are tons more cons than pros dad, even you should know that. You have to mark everything, you get daily abuse from the students, you have to work extra to plan lessons, it's so much worse than you make it out to be, it's bad pay for what you do.'

'Well yeah, there are those things, but me and Clara generally enjoy it. And our combined salary is not too bad. If we lived in that house alone with just my pay I don't think we'd be in there for long.'

'I wish.' She muttered, swinging off the chair when they started walking away.

They talked for a long while in the car too as they pointed different things out and laughed together like they used to. It was nice, having a good conversation with her dad without Clara. She reminded herself she still needed to work on trying to push Clara out of their lives without endangering their stupid compromise. She hated the fact she was so dependant on it too, she could only subtly be mean to Clara in fear she would tell her dad. One thing struck her as odd, however. John was convinced Clara was ill because of her but that had only been fake. She wondered for a moment but then settled on the idea she had caught it from school. A lot of people we're becoming I'll recently at her school so it was no surprise. Yet another bad attribute to being a teacher, one she shared and he laughed at.

When she saw her however, it was hard not to state it out loud. She looked awful, ghost pale and a nervous wreck, a bucket by her side she had no desire to inspect. John came rushing to her side as he usually did, uttering some things to her, words of comfort.

'You look like death.' She offered, only half feeling bad for saying it. That one really did kind of slip out unintentionally, yet Clara didn't take it with her usual iron mask.

'Oh, thanks a bunch.'

Her tone surely surprised her, John too. She sounded worse than fed up, she sounded exhausted. It couldn't be any mild illness, could it? She really did look nervous and twitchy. Not to mention the sudden change in temper. But she decided she didn't care. John took hold of her gingerly and looked back at Katie with disappointment.

'Katie, stop bothering Clara and go do your revision work.' He said, as he lifted Clara up into a cradle. She looked too dependant then, wrapped up in John's arms like a baby. She decided for once that she'd leave them alone for the moment and do what she'd been asked as John took her upstairs. One thing was for sure, however, something was off. Whether it was just extreme illness or even an infectious disease she couldn't speculate. For a second she even felt sorry for the woman, although one look at the mocking revision guide swept away her feelings and hardened her expression. Back to work as always, and if she didn't get a good enough grade this time she would start a fight. It was like torture, writing so many things down it made her hand ache, but at least she was no longer grounded. She was planning to see Jake afterward.

Although she was nearly finished she had already found a distraction. From the corner of her eye, she saw her father's bow tie lying on the counter, which was strange, since she hadn't noticed it earlier but could have sworn he was wearing it that morning. He hadn't been wearing one at all in his class or in the car, so she wondered if she was hallucinating or if it had been there since lunch. Since he abruptly walked out of his class, perhaps. Maybe he came home to Clara instead of his alibi.

Katie dashed upstairs and into John's bedroom where he was laying with Clara, watching her while she was asleep.

'Dad, why were you here earlier on today?'

The question shocked him and he gave no reply, so she repeated the question louder.

'Shhh!' He admonished, walking briskly out and closing the door behind him.

'What do you mean?'

'Don't ask me how I found out, but I know you were here, so tell me why.'

He sighed. 'Clara called me up halfway through lesson saying she felt worse. I panicked, suggested I came back for a bit just to help her. That's all.'

'How long were you here?'

'Not very long. Look Katie, I don't think I have anything to explain to you and I don't appreciate the questions, so carry on downstairs and leave us both alone. Clara's been sick a lot and I'm trying to help her, okay? You would too if it was your partner. Now, go back to work.'

She stared at him grudgingly, feeling the tiniest bit belittled and maddened by his changed mood. It made her sad to think how well they were getting on in the car just like it used to be but one look at Clara had him hooked and uncaring for anyone else. That's why she was ruining her life, she was taking away her father's kindness.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

John watched her stir beneath his fingers, raising his head to see her turn round to rage him with a pained look on her face. He faintly held her hands and smiled compassionately.

'Hey, is everything alright?' He asked softly.

'I feel sick again but I can't physically throw up and I have a huge headache.' She murmured.

She didn't sound too good either. Lately it had been getting worse and they had discovered she was already one month along. John shuffled up closer to her, letting her hands take hold of him reposefully. It wasn't an easy assuagement but it worked on her. Her eyes gradually fluttered closed again and he rested his chin on her head, staring at the dark walls blankly. It had been rough on her, since she hadn't been through it before but luckily he had and knew how to mitigate the situation.

Katie hadn't been helping, she was behaving in a suspicious way and John feared she would find out before he decided to tell her. He nearly had a heart attack when she started to interrogate him the other day, terrified she had already twigged. Clara had been off work for the rest of the week, and while it would be so much easier to keep her at home she was determined on going back the next week. Trying to persuade someone so devoted to their work was a hard feat and he ended up giving in. He didn't want to mess with Clara, certainly not in her state because he knew she was about to become even fiercer than she already was and it scared the living hell out of him. Clara was a force to be reckoned with most days, so he had a feeling it would be hard on him but it couldn't be helped and instead concentrated on making her feel better. He knew she was freaking out but in time it would become natural.

'John, why are you still awake?' She asked, freeing him from his thoughts, 'you have work tomorrow, it's late, you should sleep.'

'I'm sorry,' he whispered, settling down a little calmer, 'I was just thinking about some things.'

'I know.' She let her palm rest on his cheek and he placed his own on top of it, falling asleep irrevocably and this time Clara comforting him.

•••

Katie walked over to the maths block, her friends already there as she had been let out late from French. Her stupid languages teacher was still on her mind when suddenly she came face to face with Lauren, Jake's ex. They had been going out now for four months and counting now so she couldn't see what the problem was anymore. Maybe people never stopped being jealous.

She tried to move away but Lauren stepped too, closing her off. Finally she rolled her eyes and looked her in the face.

'Alright, what do you want?' She spat.

'To stay away from Jake.'

She wasn't surprised.

'Well, that's not going to happen.'

'You don't deserve him. You don't need him.'

'Honey, you don't deserve him,' she quipped back, smirking a little, 'and he was the one that broke up with you, not me.'

That seemed to deter her. Lauren's eyes were narrowing and her inner drama queen was most likely to come out any minute. Katie smiled, enjoying it slightly.

'I don't get why you haven't moved on. I guess after what you did to Jake no one wants you.'

'What?'

'That's right, he told me about it. You kissed another guy, am I right?'

She didn't say anything, but her expression was becoming more and more angry by the second.

'I'll take that as a yes. And you have my assurances that I won't ever do anything like you did to him.'

Now she was looking more like a vengeful ghost, and Katie tried not to laugh. Especially as she was quite popular.

'He's mine.' Was all she could say. She laughed in response.

'He's no ones, he's his own person. I just have the pleasure of being the one he loves.'

As soon as her sentence ended Lauren slapped her cheek, her stupidly long fake nails having literally clawed her skin. She looked all smug about it when Katie rebounded and landed a dazzling punch smack in the middle of her face. She faltered, clutching her bleeding nose and retaliated by smacking her again but she grabbed her hand, twisted it and sent another punch to the side of her head. Katie was just about to hit her again when someone grabbed her apart from Lauren and they were dragged away from each other. As they were marched back inside the building and to the first aid room, Katie reached up and felt her cheek, not so much sore but bleeding a little. The cuts were deep but she was nothing compared to Lauren. She was bleeding everywhere, whimpering like a child as the teacher pressed a cold cloth to the wound. She smiled triumphantly. Of that didn't keep her away, nothing would. And at least she had learned her lesson never to start messing with Katie Smith again.

As it happened her dad naturally caught on about the fight and told Clara about it too. The drive home was a long lecture on violence being a barbaric way to settle an argument and she received another week's grounding but it didn't impact her at all. She felt mildly victorious and when she had told Jake he had half laughed and half disbelieved her.

'She shouldn't be bothering any of us again.' She told him satisfactorily.

'How many times did you punch her?' He asked incredulously, 'because I saw her earlier and she looks proper damaged!'

'Does she? Oops,' she grinned, 'punched her in the face, the side of her forehead and twisted her arm.'

'You know I think you might have sprained it?'

'Did I?' She replied astonishingly, 'oh shit.'

'Yeah. Well, I will thank you for fighting my battles for me, but you better not get grounded anymore because I want to see you.'

'I do too. And I will next week, I promise.'

'Right, I gotta go. Love you.'

'Love you, bye.'

He hung up on her, and Katie grinned to herself. How she had ever managed to steal him she would never know but she was very, very lucky.

Everyone, all her friends, had been ringing her up or messaging her about the fight. It had gotten around fast. The teachers had sent her out of lessons for the rest of the day and all tomorrow too, but that didn't bother her. It definitely bothered her dad, however. When she came downstairs he was still irrefutably hostile.

'Where's Clara?'

'Sleeping.'

'It's all she seems to do lately.'

'Yeah, well she's very sick.'

'I don't think her illness came from me.'

He tensed up a little, as if she had said something offensive. It passed from one second to the other but Katie got the impression he was hiding something.

'It's probably something worse.'

His hands trembled with nerve.

'I hope not.'

'Well, if she's staying in bed all day it must be something.'

John looked extremely uncomfortable and soon fled upstairs. Katie knew something else was up, and she intended to find out.

••••

It had been three weeks since Katie's fight with Lauren and she was glad she didn't come anywhere near her again. She had stopped bugging Jake too, so finally they had some peace. Her next report came back much better and improved, which had softened both her dad's and Clara's moods on the fight. And Clara herself was progressively better, although she still thought there was something wrong.

She knew she was being lied to, or her father was just being vague. Either way it was maddening.

At school Clara was just about coping, her usual manner still intact but something worrying her. Instead of going to break, she decided to use her time a lot more valuably. Katie knew that John mostly spent the fifteen minutes with her, often in Clara's office. She knew what had happened the last time but cast it out of her mind. As she neared closer she caught their voices, arguing. She smirked, listening to Clara's voice overriding his and genuinely surprised. They hardly ever argued with one another. She caught a few words, and then a sentence. Some teachers walked by and she acted like she was waiting to go in.

Finally, with the last five minutes at hand she managed to hear the end of their argument.

'John, it's not fair. You have to tell her. Why have you been putting it off?'

'Because she'll go mad. There'll be a whole explosion of madness that right now I can't deal with.'

'You can't deal with?! I'm the one that should be saying that, not you! As her father you have a right to tell her!'

'Clara-'

'She will find out on her own sooner or later and that's not something I want. We should explain it to her calmly, if you ever had the guts to do it. And you know I can't, you're the only one she'll listen to.'

'Alright! Fine, I'll tell her.'

'When?'

'What do you mean?'

'When will you tell her?' She demanded. As much as she didn't like Clara she had to admit she was good at putting her father into place.

'I'll tell her tomorrow.'

'Why not today?'

'Because I need time...to prepare how to tell her.'

'I can't believe this. For one, even having this argument. And your pathetic excuses. We're having this argument at school too, of all places, where anyone could hear us. We'll have to carry this on at home, John, because I really don't have the heart to argue with you anymore and the bell's about to go.'

'Look, Clara-' he began, reverting back to being gentle.

'Don't you dare blame this on hormones, John, I am genuinely angry at you.'

'Right, well, I can believe that.'

'Just...just go. I'm sorry I shouted and everything, but just go.'

From what she could see John placed his hand on her shoulder.

'Hey, I'm not trying to annoy you or do this on purpose, okay? It's just going to be hard for me to tell her we're having a child, because she won't listen and she'll go ballistic at first. I'm just trying to ease her into it.'

Katie's face reddened with conniption. Why did she always overhear the biggest and worst news right when she didn't need it? The one thing that she had sworn to never hear in her life and he'd just said it, the sentence buzzing in her brain with unending questions. Her plans had only worked for a time, but as she cast her mind back she couldn't think of anytime they were actually alone. She closed her eyes, tears of anger pooling embarrassingly round her eyes and as the bell suddenly struck she ran. Away from the office, away from people. She couldn't handle anyone else seeing her like that, so furious and vexed. They were having a child, someone to replace her because she was just too much to handle and headstrong. It was causing her the most vile anguish imaginable, hatred she didn't want but couldn't help possessing. The thought kept coming back to her, a baby toddling around, messing up her things, being generally annoying. What was worse was that it was Clara's child. Mini Clara Oswald, her half brother or sister, her father's child. It brought a bad taste to her mouth and a pounding against her ribcage that made her want to be sick. Everything was turning upside down, her whole life just being messed up like that, as soon as Clara had walked in the front door of their house. Wiping the hot, incensed tears from her eyes she evaluated how truly aggravating her life had become. With trepidation she allowed her legs to carry her to her next class, praising whatever higher power there was that she didn't have English or Art. She probably would have gone on a rampage then.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

When the day was done and she made her way to Clara's office she didn't say a thing. She stared reproachfully at her stomach, not yet noticeable but making her feel even more irritated. John walked into the room, and she stayed deadly silent. In fact she continued on like that for the car ride, and at home. She didn't say a thing to either of them.

'What's the matter with you?'

She glared at him but said nothing.

'Right, well, I think I should say it now. Um,' he sat down next to her, 'I've got something to tell you, Katie, and-'

'I know.'

'What?'

'I know,' she said, her voice rising. He sighed hopelessly. 'Oh god, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you sooner.'

'Why the hell didn't you?!' She yelled, storming from her seat.

'You're having another child and you didn't bother to tell me!'

'I know, I'm sorry, I just needed time to get used to it.'

'Bullshit.'

He rose from his chair, eyes burning, 'don't you even think about swearing again at me Katie or I will take your phone away, do you hear me?'

'Take whatever you want, you've already ruined my life.'

'I knew you'd act like this. I don't see how you could hold such a grudge against this. Haven't you ever wanted a brother or sister?'

'Not if they're Clara's children, no.'

'Katie, you really have to think about what you're saying here.' He replied, fists clenching in umbrage and hurt. She detected this, rolling her eyes.

'Stop acting so hurt! I'm the one that's hurt! I'm the one that feels abandoned! You have everything you ever wanted.'

'Katie, if you think I'm replacing you, you're thinking crazy. I love you more than anything, I'd never abandon you. I can't believe you don't already know that. I just want a life with Clara as well.'

'You've spoilt it all,' she said, 'because I don't want to be here if that's going to happen, if you're going to have a nice little family and a lovely wedding, I'm not included in either of them.'

'You're acting like a child, I don't know why you can't just accept that we're together.'

'Because you were never meant to be together!' She shouted, anger now rapidly becoming pain, 'you were supposed to be with mum!'

'Katie,' he murmured, stepping forward and trying to hug her, 'sometimes things don't work out the way you planned them. I've learned that the hard way. But you're gonna have to face up to the fact we're starting a family and you are literally the base of it, Katie. Without you there would be no us or no family. Understand?'

She shook her head violently, stepping backward again. 'No.'

At that point Clara came down, staring confusedly between the two of them.

'What's the noise about, I was sleeping and I could hear shouting! What's up?'

Katie turned to her dad, looking guilty.

'She knows now.' He said quietly. Clara looked a little apprehensive.

'You told her.'

He shook his head gingerly, and Clara looked from John to Katie.

'What? How did you find out?'

'Overheard you.' She muttered.

'Oh, Katie-'

'Don't you dare start treating me nicely and feeling sympathetic. I don't want anything to do with you!'

'Katie!' John scolded, 'I won't gave you talk to Clara like that!'

'She deserves it, she's caused all these arguments!'

'No, you have.'

They were all standing there arguing, Katie observing their disappointed faces with each accusation and gradually overriding each of their shouts.

'I still don't get how it was even possible.' She spat.

'Well, uh, why wouldn't it be?' John said, scratching the back of his head embarrassingly.

And then it hit her; the only time she could think of was the day she had been with her mum, the very day she had sworn to prevent this situation was ever happening. Frustration bubbled away at her as her face turned stony.

'I hate you,' she said finally, not even shouting, just stating calmly as she looked into Clara's eyes, 'I hate you for this. You're taking everything away from me and I hate you and your stupid baby for it.'

'I've always known you were ill tempered sometimes but I never thought you could ever day something so cold-hearted.' She replied, genuinely hurt, probably more than she had even intended the comment to offend.

'Or maybe it's the way I feel.' She ended, storming upstairs and leaving with her an awkward silence.

•••

They stood together amidst the room, hearing the door slam after Katie. John was looking at his shoes in shame, and while she knew it was puerile she couldn't help her statement getting to her, after two years of staying strong and putting up with her remarks, she finally crumbled. Whether it was her over emotional state or general feeling of distress, she didn't comprehend it as tears sparkled at the corners of her eyes and she had to turn away, even from John's face. She felt his body behind her, a delicate hand on her shoulder. His breath was felt at the nape of her neck and she knew what he was going to say.

'I'm sorry.'

Like it was his fault that Katie hated the very ground she walked on, like apologising suddenly made everything better.

'You didn't deserve that at all. I can't believe she said any of it.'

She said nothing as he pressed a kiss to her neck but it didn't calm her anymore than it was intended to.

'I honestly don't know why you're crowding round me, John. Go talk to your daughter, she's clearly troubled.'

'Why do you always have to act selfless?' He asked softly, 'like everyone comes above you. Maybe I don't want to talk to Katie right now because what she said to you hurt me just as much.'

She turned round to face him, tears dried and stained but now eyes burning like fire, boring into him. He even cowered just a little.

'Can't you understand why she hates me? It seems like I'm the only one who truly understands her, her motive and her emotions. I've never got on with my stepmother, even now it's a relationship that doesn't mean much to me. I only accepted it because my mother was no longer here!'

'Clara, why are you shouting at me?!'

She pushed him a little, trying to get him out of her way.

'Because you've had weeks,' she accused, 'you've had weeks to tell her and you never did. You promised, John. You fucking promised. In the end she found out like all the other times you failed to tell her things and now she's even more upset. I know I bloody would be.'

'You know how she is, it wouldn't have been easy either way.'

'It would have been easier if you'd told her earlier so she can get used to the idea, not let her find out on her own while we're having a bloody argument about it! That's not what she deserves, never mind what she says to me.'

'You're defending her again.'

'And you're not!'

'Clara, please, I never meant for this to happen. And you need to calm down.'

'Don't,' she said, shaking her head and trying to keep her voice from rising, 'tell me to calm down. I've been calm for the last two years so I think I deserve some leverage and some shouting on my part because you're not doing anything!'

'Fine, alright, Clara, you're right about everything, and I mean that. Even when you're wrong you're right, so I'll go upstairs, talk to Katie. Maybe we can smooth things over.'

'That's a start,' she admitted, 'but I'm not sure you'll really be able to blindfold everyone from their opinions. I'm not sure this can work, and that's not your fault. But if you don't stick to your promises, John, it will never work.' She tried putting it lightly, finally standing closer to him, trying to be gentle.

'What-what are you trying to say?'

'I'm saying it's not anyone's fault Katie hates me, hates our unborn child, hates our very relationship. To be honest, a part of me doesn't blame her. A part of me can't stand how she said such horrible things. And a part of me knows it's not going to get any better. And if you can't even keep a single promise to me that's not proving our relationship really can go through marriage. Do you understand what I'm saying?'

'Clara I know what you're thinking, please don't. Please don't leave, never leave.'

He tried to take her hand but she moved it away. She could see she was causing him pain, as much pain as it was causing herself. His eyes turned glassy and his face was tarnished with regret.

'I don't want to cause any drama,' she said, 'I'm not making you choose between me and Katie, because that's in no way fair at all and I would never dream of causing you that pain.'

'Clara, you're already causing me enough pain to last me a lifetime. Stop doing this, please.' He emphasised, taking her into his arms in a tight embrace and Clara sighed as her head hit his chest. She could faintly hear the beat of his heart and she creased her eyebrows in agony, scrunching up her eyes to detain tears from falling but failing miserably. It was hard to let go of his hold but finally she stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek.

'You can't do this,' he said, shaking his head, 'you can't do this.' He was shaking, his eyes embedded with agonising tribulation and as his hand wavered over the place their baby rested she considered forgetting about it all and taking him back with one look in his sparkling eyes.

But she let her head drop to the floor, her hands to disentangle from his and she gave him one bittersweet kiss before leaving the room. Katie had finally gotten what she wanted. She had gotten her freedom.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

She looked over at her dad, sitting alone in the canteen by himself. Since Clara left it had put him in the worst position. He was even worse than when her mum left, which she found astonishing. He couldn't have loved Clara more, could he? He was in a state, a raggedy man, with clothes worn three times in a row, an excess of beer bottles in the fridge, a whole mess created in every room that he didn't have the heart to pick up. He hardly spoke, either, and only in times of need. Car drives home were deadly silent and he kept staring at the place Clara used to sit. Most days he'd forget to eat, too.

He hardly ever cried, yet at night she sometimes heard a whimpering sniffle or a cough to cover up tears. He had taken to ringing her phone, standing there for hours calling again and again until he had to give up. She never answered, but he kept on persisting, like every phone call was going to be the successful one. It was pathetic. Clara wasn't there at school the next day, or the next, or the next, whether to avoid John are simply on maternity leave she didn't know. All she knew was that it was unlike Clara to not be at work, even when it was nearing the end of term.

But he'd eventually get over it, like he always did. He would pick his life back up again like last time.

It was only a matter of time until he forgot her completely. She watched him stare blankly into space, oblivious to the noisy, chattering students around him and quietly put his face in his hands.

••••

It had been a month since she left, and John had nearly given up hope. He must have left at least ten missed calls a day and texted her enough. All he wanted was her back, his heart had already been broken once and now once again, when things had been going so good. What pained him most was the fact she was carrying his unborn child and if they didn't make up soon he was going to be there only on the sidelines. He'd hoped he would take care of Clara, watch the baby grow, hear it's little heartbeat, but it seemed like he'd ruined all chances of ever doing that. His eyes had stayed permanently bloodshot and when though he hardly ever cried it was like a tsunami wave had hit him. Everything reminded him of her. The smell of her perfume still lingering faintly in the air of their bedroom, the pictures on his phone, the tins she'd use to make a soufflé.

He was driving home when for the first time in days, she mentioned her.

'You'll forget about her eventually.' She told him. 'She's always been cloy and annoying.'

'Just shut up about it, Katie.' He said tiredly. Anyone mentioning her was like a bullet to the brain.

'But she isn't worth it!'

'What, and your mum was?!' He snapped.

It only made him madder that she had to mention his ex wife as well, making matters worse.

'But I told you she would abandon us, now she has. She's just as bad as mum. No, worse. At least she never left you while she was pregnant with your child.'

That stopped him. That was the shot that made his skull bleed and his body fall to the ground. She had gone too far, she had hurt him more than anything else.

'I don't want to talk about it, Katie,' he said through gritted teeth, and with a smug smile she let it drop.

When they arrived home he checked his phone like he always did, in a renewed hopeful burst of optimism. And yet that day his miracle became true when it stated, 1 missed call: Clara Oswald.

His heart jumped in his mouth and his breathing became rapid. It had been weeks with no sign of contact and finally she had called. He just wished he had been there when it rung. He called her back instantly, but it only went to voicemail. He tried again and again, each time praying she would pick up. He realised she had called him for less than two seconds as it said on his phone, which meant she had obviously rung but decided against it in the end. John rubbed his forehead in frustration, sinking down into the sofa and opening a bottle of cider. He should stop, he knew but it was the only thing that could successfully drown some of the pain out. For minutes he didn't think of Clara Oswald when under influence, whereas he was thinking of her every second of the day in sobriety. He ordered pizza in but didn't put on the TV, didn't watch any movies, didn't dare turn on his music in fear of hearing Clara embedded in the meaning. He was a wreck, he knew that. Even his teaching had suffered, and Clara hadn't even showed up, and that was all because of him. He didn't even know where she would be staying, and even though he'd thought about searching for her he had decided against it, just like her phone call. It had been dear of rejection tying him down. He looked up to see Katie standing by the door, smiling a fraction. It was the first he'd done it in weeks and it felt immensely comforting when she responded back with the same lopsided grin. At least he still had Katie.

••••

Clara had stared a long while at the phone in her hand before she finally put it down. Calling him was a big mistake, even if it was only for a few seconds. She already had over a hundred of missed calls from him and this would only increase the list. In truth, she hadn't had the strength to hear his voice again, something would break straight away inside her and she'd end up taking him back. She wanted to, oh god, she wanted to but it would only exacerbate things. Like for the first time in months, she had finally gotten some peace. She was staying at Nina's house and pulled out unusually on work. She had told Nina it was tiredness but in truth it was just because seeing his face again would be too agonising. It would be awkward too, unimaginably tense. Although Clara missed him with every fibre of her being she only too gladly got stuck into boring chores that for the while, took her mind off things. John, Katie, even the baby sometimes. It was her sedative.

She stared down at her finger, staring at the ring still glistening there brightly. She couldn't make herself take it off, after everything that had happened. It reminded her only of happy memories but also of promises he couldn't keep. She wiped a stray tear from her eye. It was difficult to put into words, but a roller coaster might perfectly exhibit just how sick and rocky she felt, and not just physically but mentally as well. Emotionally drained and obsessed over the past, her ring being a constant reminder of that. She hugged her knees like a child until Nina walked in, back home from work and carrying groceries.

'Are you alright?' She called.

With a heaving breath she replied shakily. 'No.'

Nina came rushing to her side, literally letting Clara use her shoulder to cry on. A flood of emotions kept coursing through her and for the weeks she'd stayed silently still, now she was on full blast.

'It's been too long,' she told her, 'it's been too long without him and it's only been a month. I want him here, by my side!'

'I know,' she soothed, rocking her friend from side to side, 'I know that. You're still sleeping with his sweater and everything, bless you, and I can understand why you want him back. Do you want me to call him?'

She considered it for a millisecond but shook her head. It would be unbearable, one word from his mouth and she'd come running back. And that was something she couldn't do. She needed to give John time with Katie, needed time herself. Rushing things was certainly a hamartia of hers.

'Clara, you're spending your time without any motive. You need something to do.'

'I could go back to work,' she suggested drily, 'but he would be there and I can't face that, I really can't.'

'I know. But look, personally I think it was a stupid move, leaving him. One of the worst times considering,' she said, glancing down at her stomach, which had grown just a little more noticeable, 'and I know he broke promises and Katie's been driving you both nuts but this is not doing you any good so I suggest you get up, go out and get him back.'

Her hands rubbed her forehead in deliberation and finally her eyes. She wanted to, if only she could make herself do it. Something was holding her back, making her feel hopeless. She thought of John's face, moments before she left, begging her to stay, inflicted with pain. It was the one thing she couldn't bear to see again.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Katie dragged, exhaled the smoke and let her mind wander. Sometimes all she needed was a cigarette to relax and calm her nerves, her stress, her worry. It was always such a pleasant escape.

'I've realised that it's actually similar.' she admitted, exhaling again as she glanced toward her friend. They were sheltered from a canopy of trees and sat amidst it all on a small brown bench. This was their safe haven, their protection, from whatever worry they had and therefore could share in complete confidence. She was the only person she really could tell it all too.

'What is?'

'Me, Jake and Lauren, Dad and Clara. I feel like sometimes I'm being a hypocrite. I've split two couples up just to get what I want. I mean, I know the Lauren and Jake situation really wasn't my fault but that fight we had...it reminded me partially of the ones I had with dad and Clara, except of course the physical contact. Just the fact that I'm always in the way of someone else's desires, and I only think of my own.'

'But that's your life,' Emily argued, 'everyone wants something good for themselves. You've gotten Jake, you've gotten rid of Clara. Not just at home, but at school too which is cool.'

'So why does it feel so wrong? I've wanted Clara out since the day I met her but now it just feels weird. Too silent without her voice interrupting, too messy without her organisation. My dad's heartbroken, truly, and I hardly feel any remorse.'

'Maybe because you've finally gotten what you wanted but ended up hurting the person closest to you, and you feel guilty for that. I'm not trying to be rude or anything, this is just advice.'

Katie patted her knee thankfully, smiling in between the cigarette perched on the edge of her teeth.

'It's inhuman, isn't it? Not to feel regret for the things you've done?'

'Katie, you hated Clara. If you're suddenly starting to want her back, then-'

'No!' She said, 'of course I don't. But my dad does, a lot. Em, he's worse than when mum left him. Remember that, how run down and desperate he was? Picture that five times worse.'

'Christ. So, what you're saying, is that you'd only want her back to make your dad happy?'

'Yeah, I do.' She said astonishingly, quite surprised she'd even come to this conclusion. As much as she despised her, her father loved her. He really was dependant on her to always be there, never leave him like her mother did. He was much needier in his case, and she couldn't bear to see him wasting away days and not talking, it just wasn't him. An empty shell. And she realised, just in that second, she had been extremely naive. Katie had always denied it, but the truth was they were in love. She had been playing childish games, telling them both they could never feel for one another the way dad used to feel about mum. She felt nonsensical about it now, stupid at the way she took things so lightly. But could she really let the person she hated most back into her home? That also sounded absurd. Why was she even musing on it? At the end of the day she was her own person, and no matter how much it hurt her father it was Clara's actual decision to walk away, despite she initiating it. And she didn't think she could cope having her back, buying cute little baby outfits and catalogues. She couldn't do it.

'No,' she shook her head, almost sounding sad at the fact, 'I just gave too much hatred in me than remorse.'

••••

'Dad?' She called. He was staring fixedly at the TV, right on the edge of his seat, watching some sort of crime drama. Sure, he had beer bottles scattered around him but she reminded herself he was slowly getting better. He'd even learned how to do the dishwasher again.

'Yeah?'

She gingerly sat beside him. His phone was discarded on the floor, still sitting where he'd thrown it.

'How much do you love Clara?'

His body froze, his face returned to that pain at the mention of her. She let him have a moment, just waiting for an answer that she thought he'd dismiss. But to her shock, he really did reply.

'I can't even describe it Katie, the fact is, I love you both more than life and I could never choose between you.'

She nodded as his eyes bored onto hers gently. She wished she had the courage to stare straight back.

'How much do you miss her?'

'Why are we talking about her?'

'Because it's painful, right? I need to know how painful, like could you live without her?'

'Nope,' he decided, hanging his head, 'I don't think I could ever live without her and yet here I am right now. I didn't think it could ever come to this. And why are you so interested? You never cared about how much I loved Clara, you wanted her gone from the moment she stepped through that door!'

'Dad, don't get angry. I can kind of see why you are, especially at me but I don't want to cause a fight.'

He snorted. 'First time in forever.'

'Hey, stop whining! You're like a big, drunk baby.'

And add that to the list of things she should never say around him. His eyes faltered, his hands dropped sullenly and he became silent.

'Its been four months.' He said quietly.

Suddenly she felt like the worst person in the world. She had actively kept them apart, not just Clara and John but from his child as well. Her half-brother or sister. That was cruel. It was harsh, despite how she felt about it all.

'I know.' Was all she could say back. Still, that impenetrable dislike was chipping away at her emotions. She couldn't feel anything less than pity for them.

'Katie, what are you trying to do?'

'Get your life back on track.'

'I don't think you're going to succeed, Kate. That train derailed four months ago and has already started to decompose.'

'Dad, stop with your stupid metaphors and listen. You need to stop acting like a ghost, and get better. You need to stop thinking about Clara and focus on other important things-'

'How much would it take,' he interrupted, 'to get you to let her back? To stop being spiteful? To see reason and accept everything we were doing? What are you trying to do?'

'Don't have a go at me for disliking your fiancée and trying to get you sane again. I never thought I'd say this but even your teaching is slipping.'

'I know.' He sighed, rubbing his face in his hands.

'Pick yourself up then. You've never always needed Clara before, have you?'

'No, you're right.' He said, springing up and violently switching off the TV. 'Come on, what do you say we go for a trip down the city? We haven't been there for a while.'

She smiled as he raced upstairs to get dressed smarter, and ten minutes later he came down with a new bow tie, clean shirt and slicked back hair. The rest of the day they spent shopping and eating and laughing, like it used to be, and she had never seen him so revitalised and happy since Clara left. He treated her the same way he used to, spoiling her with clothes and meals out and it felt amazing to have him back, just as he was.

••••

Katie stared at the photo, just a few tears searing her eyes but not allowed to spill. His face, beautiful, incapable of betrayal back then. It was only a week ago she had found out, and ever since it had caused a huge weight upon her life she didn't want to think about. He had been so nice, so loving to be with and now it had fell apart. She couldn't help thinking how extraordinarily similar both relationships were now, with a heavy hearted sigh.

She was so angry she could hit the wall again and again until her knuckles bled but she restrained herself. All she really wanted to hit was Lauren's annoying, stupidly moronic face. She had cornered him, kissed him, and he had kissed back apparently. It felt like everything was becoming wasted and ruined before her very eyes. He had texted her, called her, tried to get her back and make it up to her. And while the decision of whether to take him back or not was something she needed at least another few days to think about. She wanted to be back with him, but part of her only wanted to smack him too and drop him. She put her head in her hands. Why so complicated, why so serious? Why can't people act civilised? The messages had stopped with an 'I love you' and it caused her to stare at it for a long time before sighing. She wanted to reply, but couldn't. What would she say? God, she was turning into Clara. That was something she didn't want to contemplate, either.

Why people did this or think it was acceptable, she didn't know. She couldn't understand how Lauren had gotten him to kiss her back, or how he could even do it. At least Clara was never unfaithful to her dad. She guessed it was one attribute in her defence.

Another phone call, instead. Men just never gave up, did they?

She cursed under her beery but decided to pick up the phone, otherwise the constant ringing would drive her crazy.

'Katie.' He said, breathing a sigh of relief.

'What?' She replied rather harshly.

'Please, give me another chance. It was a mistake, okay? All a rush to me.'

'Give me one good reason why.'

'Because it sounds silly but I love you and I'll still admit it to anyone. It was nothing, Katie. She shocked me completely.'

'But what were you doing near her in the first place?'

'She came up to me when I was leaving P.E and I couldn't get rid of her. I explained I was meeting you and at the mention of your name she kind of just went for it, and I stumbled and kissed her back only for a second, Katie! Only for two seconds until I realised what I was doing, I swear.'

'But it was long enough that Emily saw you too.'

'She saw us the whole time, when she came up to me, the kiss. If you she's told you anything else other than I've told you she's lying, I swear.'

'I haven't actually thought of talking to her,'

'Exactly.' He cut in.

'Because I didn't hear it from her. I was told during science by the whole class. I didn't know she saw everything.'

'Yeah, she did.'

She considered everything he was saying, whether she really did trust his judgement. She decided to get a a second opinion on it.

'Jake, I'll call you back.'

'Okay.'

It seemed a good enough answer for him. At least he knew now she wasn't completely giving up on him.

She rung Emily, hoping she could give advice and share what had been her account of what had happened.

'Hey.'

'Hey, are you alright?'

It was a simple question she didn't know how to answer. Was she alright? She didn't know.

'Yeah, I don't know. Jake told me you saw everything that happened.'

'You spoke to him?'

'Yeah, he told me it was only short, unintentional, a mistake, that kind of thing.'

'Yeah, it kind of was. They were talking, Jake didn't seen really interested in what she was saying but I think he said something about you. Then suddenly she just pounces on him. I didn't know what either of them said before that but she kissed him but it was only like four seconds after he realised and pulled away.'

Katie breathed a sigh of relief. 'He was telling the truth.' She said incredulously.

'Yeah. What did he say to you?'

'Just that he wants me back, and he told me he loved me, and-'

'Wait, he told you straight, I love you?'

'Yeah. It's not the first time, really.'

'Katie, he must care about you a lot to say that, I couldn't imagine any other boy in our year saying that outright to a girl. I think it would be silly to drop him, a huge mistake. He obviously feels terribly guilty.'

'You think I should take him back?'

'Definitely.'

'Okay, thanks.'

She hung up, clutching the phone to her chest and smiling. She didn't know why she'd doubted him like that. Of course she felt a little bad for not trusting him but it was only to be expected when put through that situation. She rung him back up again, absolutely falling in love with the way he rejoiced so happily, thanking her and promising he'd never do it again. She talked to him for a good two hours after that, smiling and laughing exultantly. When finally she hung up she could feel her heart pound and knew she really did love him too. Which made her realise just how Clara might feel about John.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Katie weighed up pros and cons. A few months ago and she'd never even consider it, but she had finally understood. It wasn't fair. She probably wouldn't be able to tolerate Clara for a few months but maybe she'd grow on her with time. And if she gave her a second chance, who knows what would happen?

As she stared at her father watching TV she decided he deserved it. Such a rapid change of heart, she knew, but after losing Jake it had given light of a whole new perspective. She couldn't just keep them apart forever, especially as there was John and Clara's child to keep account of. She laughed as she reminisced on how ignorant she had been, thinking she could just stop them from doing everything they wanted.

Her dad was better, admittedly, after she had shaken him up a bit and made him see sense, although it didn't stop him from missing her. She saw it sometimes, just a flash of pain caught in his eyes, trapped inside his pupils. Katie knew that if she brought them back together his eyes would sparkle again and his mood might change. All she wanted was to see him happy again, after a few weeks he had put on an act but she knew he would never truly be the same with anyone or anything than when we was with Clara. She wondered what his reaction would be when she told him. She smiled momentarily at the thought of his face instantly lighting up.

Katie ran upstairs, opened her messages and clicked on Clara's name. She had given her phone number to her a long time ago but she had never really used it, only at times to annoy her. She was surprised she'd even kept it on there. Regardless, she opened the chat, taking a breath before she wrote. She didn't quite know what to say and how to say it, but she was sure Clara would get a surprise at her sudden correspondence. Finally she settled on something and sent it before she could really think about what she was doing:

I know it might be weird getting a message from me, of all people, but you should know that dad is still really heartbroken for you and I don't think it will ever change. If you'll just consider talking to him or something it would make him feel a lot better. It would make me feel a lot better too.

It was a little painful to do but she was willing to put a few, miniature differences aside for her father's sake. She even felt proud for sending it even though she was beginning to have second thoughts about the whole idea. It might take hours or days or just minutes for an answer. She might never reply. For the first time mixed emotions were felt on that, and not only on personal opinion. She remembered the camping trip, the day they went swimming and she had admired her a lot more within the hour. It was a bit like that now but instead of admiring she was hoping. Hoping she'd reply back.

Katie was genuinely shocked when a message came through only four minutes after she'd sent it, which gave her the impression that Clara was feeling the same way:

I've been thinking about it since the day I left and I miss him a lot too. I'm just confused about why you care so suddenly. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, just unexpected. I think I do need to talk to him one way or another because I have something to tell him he would want to know.

All in all, it was mostly what she had expected from Clara, although she pondered on what it was she wanted to tell him. She knew that to make up her mind she would just have to tell her what to do:

Thursday I'll send him round. Where are you staying?

She knew what Clara would be thinking, conflicted still and maybe a bit annoyed. Yet she soon replied:

My friend, Nina's house. I'll give you the address.

Katie once again felt triumphant. Part of her couldn't believe she was really going to make this happen, going to give them a chance and even let her back in the house. She wondered if something had gotten to her, the drastically changing weather or just sudden kindness and understanding. And for some reason, she couldn't wait to please her dad with the news.

••••

He was nervous. He was extremely nervous. After Katie had told him what she done his first reaction was one of shock, and then gradually joy at the prospect, and now so very shaken up. He knew this was important not to mess up, to say the wrong things or she might never see him again for real this time. He couldn't stop his hands from shaking as he splashed water ok his face, waking himself up a bit more. It had only been a two day wait and yet the anticipation had twisted him, keeping him awake all night. Just the sight of Clara's face again would be enough to send chills down his spine. He was unprepared but hoping things would get better, hoping she really would come back. He dressed in his usual fashion but smartened himself up just a bit to give a good impression. It was almost like he was going on their first date again, one memorable to say the least. He smiled fondly at the memory, trying to dispel the endless knots in his stomach. What he couldn't believe and was slightly annoyed about was the fact that she had replied instantly to Katie, but hadn't answered to him, even when he'd called and texted and left voicemails nearly every day. He guessed getting a message from Katie had been quite a surprise.

He smiled at her gratefully when he ultimately left and drove to the address Katie had given him, hands trembling on the steering wheel, trying not to think about every day for the last four months unable to see her face. He paused at the door, taking a breath before knocking, to which a woman who he suspected was Nina opened it. He smiled awkwardly until he saw Clara and walked in without any thought, embracing her tightly to which she responded to, face nuzzled into his shoulder. His eyes were shut, his iron grip never wanting to let go but finally he stared at her face, realising just how much he missed it, how beautiful she was. Staring into her eyes softly he kissed her longingly, hand cupping her cheek and Clara thankfully yielding to what must have been at least seven minutes of standing there without saying a word, kissing wildly like they were making up for all the missed ones.

'I'll leave you two alone, then.' Nina called, departing quickly from the room but John hardly heard her. When his lips parted from hers he could only think of how hungry he was for his lips on hers again, to fall back upon the sofa and let himself unravel under her touch.

Her head was hung, balanced on his chest and his arms closed around her frame.

'So much for talking.' She said, finally looking into his eyes.

'I've missed you.' He said instead, gazing with an intensity that made Clara's breath escape.

'I'm glad you're here,' She said assuringly, 'and I needed to tell you that...uhm, you're having a daughter.'

His face broke out in delight and his smile widened, his mouth stuttering like he wanted to say something but unable to. Instead he hugged her again, overwhelmed by emotions that couldn't be described. Clara couldn't help but smile along with him. His hands drifted down, lightly caressing her stomach and leaning down to kiss it before seeing a sad smile splay on her face.

'I'm sorry I didn't call you. You had a right to know as soon as I found out but I just couldn't call you, couldn't hear your voice because I knew I'd come running back and I needed a bit of time.'

'That's why you called.' He whispered, searching her face, 'have you had enough time?'

She didn't answer but took hold of his hands and tugged him gently to the couch. As she did, however, he saw the glint of shiny metal still unbelievably on her finger.

'You kept your ring on.'

'Of course I did.'

'I thought you'd ended it all the minute you walked out.'

'Never.'

He was too relieved to question it. He well and truly thought it was all over, and hearing that was the best feeling in the world.

'Will you come back? Sleeping without you was hell.'

Clara knew she really needed to actually talk to him, but that could wait. Right now all she wanted was him, to say yes and get on with their life. She had spent too many days without him. Clara made this decision all in the split second of looking into his glimmering green eyes and nodded at him. He closed his eyes in utter joy as that same thrilling grin spread upon his face, the one she loved so dearly. And without a seconds hesitation she kissed him again, her hands round his neck as he kissed back harder and she knew that it had all been a mistake on her part, all a stupid, pointless mistake that she hoped she could make up for in time. There was nothing in the world she loved more than his fingers rucking up her hair or the traces of kisses he left on her jawline all the way down her neck. His hands caressed everywhere they could reach, his mouth fusing to hers like a magnet and their bodies became entwined in the same moment. Lips soft and eyelids closed, he shrugged off his jacket. When his tongue had collided with here her breath was shortened and her grip on his chest tightened. She could feel how pleased, how calmed he was now under her touch, the way she brushed his cheek lightly, and ever so slightly bite down on his lip, and slowly he began to lean forward, lowering her down so her head hit the cushions and she was saying his name like a prayer, so grateful she had him back, noticing just how much she had missed his touch and their bodies together. She swept his braces down his shoulders and brought him closer to her.

'Never leave me again.' He whispered into her ear, to which she gave an immediate reply.

'I wouldn't dream of it.'

They didn't notice Nina walking in, staring at John just visible beyond the sofa and raised her eyebrows.

'Oi! Not on my couch.'

They sat up immediately, Clara looking flustered and John pulling up his braces as he stared in alarm.

'I knew this whole 'talking' thing was a cop out,' she said, laughing as she saw their faces.

'If you want to have sex go back home and do it, not on my sofa.'

John and Clara blushed equally, while Nina only giggled harder, shaking her head mockingly at them.

'I guess you're going back, then?' She smiled coyly.

Clara looked to John, uttering a yes.

'I'll get my things.' She laughed, walking off to her bedroom.

He felt elated that she was back with him, that he was having another daughter. He promised to himself he would make up for all the time shopping for baby clothes, equipment, listening to her tiny heart and feet kicking. As she walked back in with a bundle of things in her arms he stared at the small bump and smiled radiantly. Clara herself looked flushed with contentment. When everything was loaded back in the boot and she had given her thanks and farewells to Nina, they sat in the car and just before he revved up, he leaned over to kiss her again tenderly and his eyes shone brightly at her, the space beside him no longer empty as he grinned at her vivacious smile.

'It's like I'm taking you back home for the first time again.'

'I'm happy to start over.'

He grinned while her hand enfolded his, and he drove all the way back home with a gleam in his eyes.


	22. Chapter 22

Hey guys, sorry for not updating yesterday, one of my friends was hospitalised and I had no time to write or update as I had planned to. This won't be the last, still have a few more chapters to go that I will hopefully still be posting daily. And thank you so much for the reviews too, I really appreciate them!

Chapter 22

Katie had greeted them both back with a smile, and knew in her heart she had done the right thing. After all, her dad had never took control of her own love life or treated Jake any lesser in lessons. Which meant they had come full circle. She had to admit, she would have to warm up to Clara, and vowed she would at least try harder than before. She had been

too blinded and naive, still too hurt by her mother leaving and too caught up in the past, not letting things change like they should. She was even a little proud of herself for seeing reason. She let them have their talk and privacy, hoping they had sorted it out. Katie was astonished also to see Clara's baby bump become much more noticeable and realised it had been just over four months, which seemed the timing right. It had been incredibly weird to see it, thinking about the baby sister she would soon get. And now, it had made her excited. Sometimes she thought she had gone soft, but in truth it was emotion. She had always been like her mother, they thought in the exactly same way. It wasn't that they were both emotionless; just expressionless. Often unable to clearly show emotions through expression and instead resorting to tactics. Which had probably caused her mum and dad's separation, since he was exactly the opposite of that. But Clara suited him perfectly. She had observed the renewed twinkle in John's eye again, which had made her happy. It was exactly the same kind of look she would give Jake, the same endearing gaze of elation. She was more like her father than she had previously thought.

Suddenly the sound of footsteps broke her from thought and Clara stood by the door. She smiled shyly until Katie gestured her to come in, and she perched at the edge of her bed.

'I just wanted to say thank you.' She said, averting her eyes from her hands to her face. Katie hardly blinked.

'I probably would have stayed a lot longer hidden if you hadn't messaged me. And I'm very grateful you did it.'

'You're welcome.'

'I just wanted to know why. You hated me.'

'I did, but I soon realised I wasn't being fair. And you should have seen the house. It was a mess for months.'

She laughed lightly.

'And my dad just wasn't my dad. Lost without you.'

Clara nodded, staring back down at her fidgeting hands.

'I wanted to let you know that...your dad and I don't love you less, despite what you may say or do or think. And we're in no way replacing you.'

'I know that now.'

'Katie, I know I'll never be your mother but I do want to make peace and hopefully, if you'll let us, become friends. At least mutually civil to each other.'

'No, you're right. I've been too childish and I think I'd like to do that. Become friends.'

Clara slowly smiled. 'I'd like that too. And I'll try not to interfere or annoy you too much. And if I start acting like a mum you can just stop me-' 'Clara, it's fine.' She laughed. Already she was surprised how well they were getting on. They'd never really interactively talked like this before.

'You know, I have a stepmother, and I've never really liked her. We never talk to one another, never had anything in common. I just don't want that to happen to us.'

She nodded understandingly. 'Yeah, I agree.'

Add that to the list of unknown things she hadn't known about Clara. Not only was she going to be her stepmother, they were both stepdaughters! They had a lot more in common than she had previously thought. She wondered momentarily if she ever came up with schemes and plans and got into terrible fights with her parents. Seemed unlikely, but there was always something about Clara that would strike her as familiar.

'You're probably still not used to the idea of a sister. I'm definitely not, anyway. Too unprepared.' She said, altering the conversation to something less intense. Perhaps it was Clara's knowledge of English dramas that had affected her attitude in some way.

'Dad said he had a knack with me. Could get me to sleep in any position and any place.'

'That would be useful.' She giggled.

'I am genuinely happy for you, really. I just wasn't ready for it at all a few months ago.'

'Yeah, I get that. But I did want to ask you something. Our wedding, obviously it's been knocked back a few months until the baby is born but I was wondering if you would...like to be my bridesmaid?'

Katie was rather taken aback by the question. She'd hardly ever been to a wedding and no one had ever asked her to be a bridesmaid before. Clara had that look in her eyes that implied her nervousness at the situation, like she had said something wrong or regretted mentioning it at all. Yet deeply she could see how much it meant to her and while weddings weren't so much her scene she couldn't refuse.

'Yeah, I will. Thanks, Clara.'

She looked immensely relieved and Katie knew she had been expecting rejection. She smiled, and it felt almost like she was about to hug her but thankfully decided against it. They weren't at the hugging stage quite yet.

She left her to her own devices soon enough, and all things had been settled between them. It was like they were meeting again for the first time but Katie had a much wider allowance for tolerance and friendship. She was glad Clara had even wanted to do it, after all the things she had done and said to her.

Moments later and her dad came in, grinning like anything. She could tell he was beyond ecstatic that Clara was back. He too sat on the edge of the bed. This was soon turning into a family meeting. While happy to see him smiling, she did for a moment value her privacy a little more than she should.

'I want to thank you too.'

Oh god, here we go. Next she'll be apologising did her sins and thanking for their forgiveness. Nevertheless, she appreciated some recognition.

'It's okay.'

'I know I might seem unfair sometimes, or a bad parent but I'm only trying to-'

'Honestly, dad,' she raised her eyebrows, 'it's fine. You're fine.'

'But I'm-'

'Yes, you're an asshole sometimes but get over it.'

He grinned.

'That's more like the Katie I know. So much passion. You get that from me.'

It was only getting a little tedious for her taste because he was only dawdling and she had the impression he came up here to ask her something too.

'And you and Clara...' He said, eyes following the duvet cover instead of her own.

'We've sorted it, dad, don't worry. I was unfair lady time so I'll make up for it.'

'Well, I've had a discussion with Clara, and I think it was immensely sweet of you to agree to be her bridesmaid,' he smiled, 'and I thought of something else, too, just so you know you're integral and included in all of this,' he paused, and Katie was instantly confused by what he was trying to say.

'Obviously, we want to pick the first name, but we wondered if you would like to pick the middle name? You don't have to if you don't want to, I just thought it would be nice.'

Katie thought about her sister, for the first time really caring, really loving, really hoping she could be a good sister.

'Nothing silly, a nice name.'

She tried to think, but couldn't come up with any suggestions she really liked.

'Damn it dad, this is your fault for not giving me a middle name!'

He chuckled while she thought harder.

'Actually, that was your mother's decision, not mine.'

'Does Clara have a middle name?'

'Oswin.'

'What kind of a name is Oswin?' She laughed.

'Well, she insists it isn't her real name but I tease her about it a lot.'

'I'm not surprised. But I still can't think of one that would fit.'

He scanned her bedroom a moment, observing the multiple posters and comic books on her shelves.

'Whose your favourite female superhero? No one unpronounceable, of course.'

It was a smart idea, especially as her whole world revolved around comics and superhero movies. Her eyes caught a poster of the defiant Black Widow posing in all of her feminine, kickass glory and her eyes lit up.

'Natasha Romanoff.'

'Natasha. I like that,' he tried, sounding it out again, 'I like it a lot.'

'A badass woman for a badass little girl.'

'Hey, I don't know about that. We are still teachers, after all.'

'Just don't act like it all the time. It's good to be bad once in a while.'

He smiled knowingly at her. 'Are you coming down for dinner?'

'Yeah.' She agreed, climbing out of her bed and joining Clara at the table. As she ate her thoughts resumed back to all of their offers, being a bridesmaid, naming her sister. It felt like she was now being bombarded with awards for being noble or something. One thing she thought was definitely something pretty cool, and a revelation; Her sister was named after an action heroine. And she was sure she'd live up to it.

••••

It felt like heaven to be wrapped up in John's arms again, feel his warmth close around her skin and his breath at the back of her neck.

'I really did miss you, you know.' She whispered, not knowing if he was awake or not but saying it anyway. But soon enough he began to stroke her arm and lean in closer.

'I'm just tremendously relieved you're back.' He replied quietly.

'How did you cope?' She asked. She felt him shuffle slightly, until he was leaning over her.

'Why are we talking about it? The past is the past.'

'Because it was the biggest regret of my life and that shouldn't go unnoticed. I thought I was doing something better, or right, but I was just exacerbating everything.'

'You shouldn't focus on that,' He countered, 'because it doesn't matter any more. Whatever pain I went through has more than made up for itself.'

'I still feel guilty.'

'Don't,' he took her hand, 'now that everything's finally moving on, Katie finally accepting our relationship for what it is and being nicer to you. That in five months our daughter will be born and until then you don't get any work to do because you're off school and I can finally look after you how I wanted to in the first place.'

She smiled, her hand reaching to his head, running fingers through his floppy hair.

'You're determined to put this behind you.' She whispered.

'Yes, I am. And in the meantime...' His sentence trailed off as he pressed a long kiss to her lips unexpectedly, but Clara's own enthusiasm made up for it. It had been too long since they were in bed together, too long since a shared kiss in the small hours. He held her longingly and gently, making her reflect on how amazing it felt to be prey to his touch once again. It was captivating. The darkness spread round the room but she could still see his face, covered in glowing patterns like a kaleidoscope. She giggled as his lips grazed her neck, his eyes incandescently glowing in the dim light.

'Is it too early to be thinking about baby names?' She wondered, as he repositioned himself even closer to her.

'Not at all. Katie's already came up with the middle name.'

'Really? Let's hear it then. Hopefully it isn't too bad.'

'It's actually very nice, has a good ring to it. It's definitely better than Oswin, anyway.'

'Hey!' She accused, hurting him lightly on the shoulder, 'that is not my middle name!'

'Oh come on, your dad told me himself. Said it was one of your ancestor's middle names or something.'

'Supposedly.'

'And I kind of told Katie.' He said all in a rush, suddenly faced with another slap but laughing too much to notice.

'Things were going so well! My middle name ruins it.'

'Ah! So it is your middle name. At least you've confirmed that now.'

She sighed, unable to stop the smile but shaking her head in disapproval at him as well.

'Anyway, back to the point.'

'Katie's choice was Natasha.'

A moment of silence passed in which she deliberated, considered the name. There was something very remarkable and likeable about the name.

'What do you think?' He questioned tentatively, breaking the long pause.

'It's a lovely name. I think it would work well as a middle name, if we found the right first name.'

'Well, there's so many I've thought about but I've no idea how well they'd be received.'

'Try me.'

He listed a few names he had come to like, had imagined his daughter with that name and wondering it it would sound right.

'What about you?' He asked in return.

'I only have one. Ellie.'

'Ellie...' He said, 'after your mother.'

She nodded.

'Is this too crazy or could we give her two middle names?'

'Really? That's pushing the limit, isn't it?' She grinned.

'Well, I love the name but I can't picture her as an Ellie. Maybe if it was added in front of or behind Natasha.'

'I don't even know why we're having such an in depth conversation about these matters.'

He chuckled. 'Yeah. You know, I'm really excited. Nervous, but I can't wait.'

'She'll be like you, with your hair and your smile.'

'No, she'll be more like you, Clara. Perfect.'

'John, I'm nowhere near perfect.'

'You are to me.'

'You need to settle now because you're talking nonsense and you have work tomorrow.'

He only prolonged the moment by kissing her again, something she couldn't help yielding to.

'Clara,' he said, breaking away, 'just promise me marriage as soon as she's born because I need you as my wife right now.'

She giggled, caressing his cheek.

'We'll have to see about that.'

'What about Lily?' He suddenly asked.

'It sounds nice. And you keep changing conversation.'

'Emily? Rosie?'

'Hazel?'

She could see that it struck him, almost immediately.

'I love that.' He said in amazement, 'Hazel. It's beautiful.'

'Do you think?'

'Yeah...it's exactly what we should call her. I can almost picture her now.'

She smiled, hand resting subconsciously on her inflated stomach and his hand joining hers.

'It works, I love it.'

Clara had to admit it was just how she imagined their little girl to be too, something not too girly but definitely elegant.

'I think it's absolutely perfect. Hazel Ellie Natasha Smith. Is it too much of a mouthful?'

'No,' she held onto his arms, pulling him down to press a kids to his forehead, 'I think it's adorable.'

'For definite then? Baby Hazel.'

She laughed. 'Yeah. But now, you need to go to sleep. Work, remember.'

He groaned, slowly letting himself fall back behind her. It had been as if they had never separated, taking and teasing and playing with each other just how they used to, and always did.

'You're going to be such an amazing mother.' He whispered, and Clara beamed, blushing a little. She felt his grip relax a fraction and knew he was asleep, Clara finally loosening up herself and her eyes closing. The name of their baby daughter swirled around her head, testing and testing until Clara was positive they had made the right choice. Every time she said it in her head it only became more beautiful. Sighing leisurely, she allowed herself to drift off to sleep, dreaming about bright futures and even brighter ones at that.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

The grip on his hand slackened, her eyes fell closed and her head hit the pillow, and he heard the distinct cry of a baby fill up it's lungs with oxygen for the first time. Observing the tiny thing writhe but finally still, among the blankets now wrapping round her and the beating of his heart increase. He pressed a kiss to Clara's forehead and with joy carefully took the bundle in his arms to look upon a face now staring up at him, so small and fragile, but meaning everything in the world to him. His daughter, already a suspiciously round face and dark brown eyes standing out from her features. He knew she would be a little Clara. And yet as he looked closer he could swear there was a slight purse to her lips he recognised as his own. Words couldn't describe how amazing it felt to hold her in his arms, something so unexplainable that it sparked tears in his eyes.

'Let me hold her.' Clara's voice calls, soft but exhausted, and he smiles as he passes her into Clara's awaiting arms. He knelt beside her, watching her smile overwhelmingly at their daughter, eyes lighting up also with tears. He couldn't imagine how Clara was feeling, her first child in her arms, and he held onto her hand. She turned to him, grinning uncontrollably.

'Hazel Smith.' He said, tenderly stroking her small head and thinking about how long he had been anticipating this moment.

'She's so beautiful.' She whispered, holding tight to Hazel and staring in wonder.

'I know.' He replied reverently, leaning down to kiss her head.

It was a moment in time he wished he could instil forever, yet the memory will never fade. Quiet, peaceful, hearing her tiny breaths as she soon fell asleep and observing every movement she made with incredulity. A burst of pride and instant love pierced his heart as he watches her latch onto her mother.

Katie soon joins them, taking her into her arms and staring at her sister with a bewildered look. John glanced at Clara and kissed her before she could say anything.

'Thank you.' He breathed, watching her face crease in confusion.

'Why?' She laughed.

'For giving me everything.' His eyes bore into hers intently and her hand strokes his cheek.

'You're so sweet.'

'She has your chin.' Katie interrupted, grinning at him.

'Really? No way,' he said incredulously, springing up and drawing to her side, 'she's inherited the Smith chin!' He grinned proudly, his features lighting up as Clara shakes her head at him in adornment.

'What do you think of her?' He asked Katie, still watching the baby wriggle in her arms.

'Her name really suits her. Already she looks like a Hazel.'

'She's amazing, isn't she?'

'Yeah.' Katie agreed.

'I can't wait to take her home.'

'John, have you got the car seat in?'

'Yeah.'

'And the cot is fully constructed?'

'Yep. All done. You should be prepared for sleepless nights, though, Clara.'

'Hopefully I will be.'

'Depends if she's a screamer or not. Katie was.' He grinned at Katie.

'Dad!'

'I'm delighted that I have the next two weeks off with you all as well.'

Katie handed Hazel back to Clara and she took her gratefully. She rocked her delicately, already developing a knack to calm her. He grinned fondly, looking forward to fathering her as profoundly as he could.

••••

Finally, Clara was able to strap Hazel into her carrier, sitting beside her as the car revved up. She sat on the back with her, admiring her while she slept. It felt so bizarre, foreign, but magical to have given birth to her child, like she had gone from woman to mother just like that, and while part of her was excited she was mostly nervous. She had no idea how to be a parent to a newborn child but with the help of instincts and John's guidance she hoped she would do a good job.

'Slow down just a bit.' Clara called, John immediately driving the slowest he could on the motorway. It was unbelievably incredible to feel this way, already invested in that small life she would give everything to protect, that she loved more than anything already and would care for for the rest of her life. John had been right, it was life changing. Her serene face putting her at ease, no longer fazed by the car journey. And it would be one memorable car ride she would never forget. Her head fell against the seat, breathing finally at normal pace and just a little bit dizzy, like she had just stepped off a roller coaster. In fact she had, an emotional roller coaster that had exasperated her to no end. Pain, relief, joy, total amazement. It was catching up on her, but she still couldn't shake the utter peace she was feeling. It was worth it, worth all the pain in the world. Her hand reached over to take Hazel's adorable, minuscule hand, fingernails the size of a half grain of rice and the smallest pair of booties over her feet.

John parked steadily in the driveway, and as Clara looked up at the building it felt so weird to think there was one more member to the family than there had been last night. It was a liberating experience to cross over the same old threshold with a newborn baby cradled in her arms, John guiding them both in with a grin.

'Are you hungry? I can make you something to eat.' He offered.

'I feel like I should but I'm too tired to be even remotely hungry right now. All my energy's been drained, both physically and emotionally.'

'I can agree with you on that. What a day, huh?'

'I'm going to go to bed, if that's alright, settle Hazel down too.'

'Of course, you deserve it. I'll be up there in a minute.'

Clara headed upstairs, leaving John and Katie and kissing the side of Hazel's head.

•••

John found them there, lying in bed and he smiled for a moment at the two of them, so beautiful. Eventually he climbed in with them, behind Clara. Hazel was wrapped up in her arms, both of them sleeping tranquilly. John put an arm over them both, enfolding them in an embrace. Clara woke up first, spotting John there and smiling as she leaned closer into him. Then, of course Hazel stirred with a cry and Clara rocked her in her arms straight away, shushing her with a talent he found remarkable as her head dropped inevitably on Clara's chest and her eyes closed. She sat up straight a little, still firmly enveloped within his arms.

'I'm, uh, sorry I woke you. I know you needed sleep.'

'It's okay. Good way to practice I guess.'

'I can't believe how well you sent her back to sleep again.'

'I'm surprised myself.'

'It's like she's enchanted by you already. One lullaby and she's in the land of dreams.'

'That would certainly make the job easier.'

He shifted closer and Clara generously moved her so that she was in between the both of them, head only just touching the pillow.

'What do you say we just sleep here like this with her? It couldn't hurt, could it?'

'It's what I was thinking. I don't want to put her in the cot just yet, just in case. Even though it's right beside me,' she giggled, 'parental safety issues already.'

'Its good sometimes to be concerned.'

'I feel like this is all a dream. I can't believe that when I wake up tomorrow I'll have this beautiful girl to keep company, that I'll have to do all sorts of things throughout the day for her. It doesn't seem real.'

'Well, let's hope it is. I can't wait til tomorrow. First full day with Hazel, I just want to enjoy it.'

'I still can't comprehend it all.'

'I get what you mean, me either. Yet here she is, as real as anything.'

'What do you think it's going to be like tomorrow?'

'Hopefully laid back. I mean, there's extra responsibility and you have to watch her every second of the day but overall it should be brilliant. And we'll have to go to bed early too, if we ever desire six or more hours.'

'It sounds good to me.'

He grinned slowly, caressing her cheek. 'Yeah, it does, doesn't it?'

'Do you think Katie will help or play with her? Be a lovely big sister?'

'I've no doubt. It might be a little hard to get used to but I assure you, Clara, one look at Hazel and Katie was sold. I could see right away in her eyes, that affection. I don't think there'll be any worries there.'

'I'm glad. But there is still one thing we need to do.'

'What's that?'

'We've gotta show Hazel off to Dad. He'd go mad if he didn't get to see her within the first week.'

'I didn't expect any less of him. Although maybe we'll go on Sunday, I want a few days alone, just us first, getting used to the routine, getting used to Hazel.'

'Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.'

'You better get to sleep because you're yawning,' he pointed out, smiling at her face as it creased, 'and you need it.'

Clara obligingly picked Hazel up and placed her over her chest, as John's hands slid round her waist to hold her. He could see Hazel's head poking out from behind Clara's shoulder and silently watched them. The whole day had been crazy from start to finish, and yet right there and then he felt plugged into the universe and completely at peace with the world.

A small wail hit his ears and he reached out to take Hazel in his arms, but Clara was already there. Murmuring tiredly she lifted her up, patting her back softly.

'I didn't think you'd be awake.'

'More prepared than you think.' She yawned.

Huddling closer to the two he glanced at the alarm by his side.

'It's six o'clock. I was expecting earlier to be honest.' Clara said, reading the alarm too.

'If you feel tired, I can hold her for you while you sleep. You must be exhausted.'

'I'm alright.' She admitted.

'Are you sure?'

'Yeah. She's fine, I'm fine.'

He swept an arm round her shoulder, staring down at Hazel as she cradled her. She whimpered a little, another cry and finally settled down again under Clara's soothing technique.

'How are you doing that?' He asked.

'Doing what?'

'Sending her off to sleep so easily.'

'I don't know. I thought it would be much worse than this, that you would be the one calming her down.'

'Yeah, I thought that too. You must have a natural talent.'

'Probably because my mother was always good at sending me to sleep. I wish she was still here,' she said mournfully, 'she would have loved Hazel.'

'I know.'

The nights and days went by all too quickly for John, already watching his newborn daughter grow with every passing month. Unfortunately by the end of those two wonderful weeks he had had to return to work, yet there was something amazing about coming home in the afternoon to see Clara playing with Hazel and himself quickly joining in. Everything had already gone so fast, and the nights had become longer at last. The only negative was that it cost so much, every necessity she needed was a privilege to pay for despite the wedding being knocked back another year. They had decided in mutual agreement, that Hazel was their number one priority and that they both wanted to wait until she was a bit older. She was such a joy to have, however, lighting up the faces of everyone she came into paths with. Six months had gone by as if it was only a day. She was just learning how to crawl, balancing on her tummy and kicking her legs and hands like a little fish as they laughed. Clapping her hands, starting to giggle, each stage had them in a bemused state of adoration. And Katie had really taken to her too.

She sat up on her blanket, smiling up at Katie as they played with her shapes. Clara and John watched the two interact and couldn't have been happier about the way it was all panning out. They smiled at each other, John drawing an arm around Clara as they sat on the sofa and laughing along with her actions, mesmerised by her nonsense speech and inability to sit still. Katie really had improved too since Hazel was born, turned to a much more positive and bright attitude, and Hazel had certainly helped with that. She could hardly stay away from her.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

She didn't think she had been so nervous in her life. Not even when Hazel was born. And even though she had been with him long enough, it was still overwhelming. The day had finally come. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Her face was pale, eyes sunken and dark circles under them from lack of sleep. Behind her the sheets were crumpled and she was alone. John hadn't slept there that night, maybe because of an ongoing drinking game or stupid tradition. Whatever it was, she had missed him. Hopefully she would be able to cover up the marks of tiredness with make up but it didn't settle her inside. Her stomach was in raging turmoil and for one moment she even thought she was going to be sick. Clara blinked heavily, dispelling the dust from her eyes and simultaneously yawning. She had waited even longer than she had anticipated for this particular day but she realised she hardly felt ready at all. Maybe, however, just maybe the sight of his face would calm her. But that was still several hours away and even now it felt like a millennia going by each minute. However unprepared she was, she still wanted him as her husband, no doubt about that. If she could just get it over with as soon as possible, become completely his from one minute to the next, she'd be happy. A ceremony was nice, but all she could think about was him. It was why, in the end, their wedding plans hadn't been too extravagant after all. They just wanted each other. Clara tried to map out the day from start to finish, still staring at herself as if it would give her more confidence. Shower, dress, makeup, car...no. Shower, makeup, cup of tea, dress, car...she tried to focus. It didn't help as much as she'd thought, only made her feel on edge. Just then a sound filled her ears and pulled her away from thought, to look down at a little girl smiling up at her, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

'Mama!' She cried cheerfully, giggling in joy. The face she made was so adorable it made her smile gratifyingly. Just her presence alleviated her spirits, and she picked her up to view the both of them in the mirror. Hazel had just turned one, beautiful brown curls resembling her own and big, brown eyes. She had John's nose, however, and his laugh. She had just started to walk on her own, falling a lot but capable enough. She could say simple words but mostly gurgled at them, babbling on and on, stringing foreign words like she was speaking fluently in her own language, to Clara and John's amusement.

She noticed she was wearing her dress, and despite looking gorgeous in it she wondered just how long she'd been asleep. Had she woken up late? A state of panic came over her but quickly dissipated when she glimpse at her alarm. 9:30. Not too late, then.

'You look beautiful in that dress, Hazel. Do you like it?'

She nodded against her shoulder, looking as tired as she felt. Someone had woken her up early.

'Who's here, who woke you up?'

'Gampa.'

'Gampa? Of course he did.' She rolled her eyes. Trust her dad to be punctual beyond concern.

'Where dada?'

'No idea.' She laughed. 'You'll see him soon, though. We both will.'

She stared at their reflection, Hazel's eyes half closed and her legs softly swinging forward and backward.

'Come on, let's get something to eat,' she placed her back on the ground and took her hand, walking downstairs with her until she stumbled toward her toys.

Her dad appeared in the doorway, smiling at her.

'Has she had breakfast?'

'Yeah, she has.'

'You did know what give her, right-'

'Clara, take a deep breath, relax, and trust your old man, okay? Big day for you, don't stress yourself out, alright?' He advised, patting her shoulder.

'Why did you wake Hazel up, though?'

'Because she was awake already and you were sound asleep, didn't hear her crying for once. I knew you probably fell asleep late last night so I just left you there.'

'Is Katie up yet?'

'No. But we should start getting ready, we've only got a few hours.'

'Now you're the one getting het up. It's not until 1, dad.'

'And it's nearly 10, so eat your breakfast, and get ready, okay?'

'Yes, father.' She said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. Her dad had always liked to be in control of a situation, which was where she got her own 'control freak' from, as John liked to call it.

She grabbed an apple and returned upstairs, taking a shower and letting her worries go just for a few moments as she revelled in the hot water dripping over her skin, clearing her thoughts, waking her up fully and making her feel just a little more excited. She bumped into Katie when she came out of the bathroom, yawning tiredly.

'I can't believe I've been woken up so early.' She stretched. Clara laughed, and Katie turned to her.

'You nervous?'

She nodded.

'Don't be, you'll be fine. Dad's probably worse than you right now,' she laughed, 'I'm just looking forward to the after party.' She crossed paths to walk down the stairs and Clara retreated to her bedroom, glancing at the wardrobe with the white flowing dress hanging neatly over it. When she finally put it on she closed her eyes, unable to describe exactly how she felt. Anticipation, nervousness, avidity, they were all an understatement.

'You look beautiful.' Katie's voice, shaking her from her own emotions, to which she turned around to see her there. She too had her dress on, one she picked herself in order to avoid humiliation.

'You do too.' She replied, smiling at how pretty she looked, how unfamiliar it was to see her in a dress.

'Are you ready?'

Clara inhaled a breath, watched her reflection once more and exhaled. She nodded, tearing away her eyes and walking behind her to the front door. Her dad was standing there, grinning while Hazel clapped her hands together. She picked her up, her embrace comforting her.

'Ready to go?' Her dad checked.

'As I'll ever be.'

The car journey was slower to her than it actually was, all she could think about was seeing him, marrying him, her fingers twitching with impatience.

Her father took her arm, and the aisle seemed to continue forever before she saw him standing there, his eyes widening at her appearance. She observed his hands, shaking just as much as hers. Her heart beat hard inside her chest as her father led her into a slow walk. She wished she could just run the rest of the way, wrap her arms around him and lock lips like the one night apart had been a year. Katie preceded her, holding Hazel's hand and she smiled down at them until she met John's gaze. Something passed between them, a silent message no one could read. It was as if the whole room with all it's people evaporated around her and it was just him and her, alone together. Their eyes didn't draw apart for one second as she suddenly came to a stop and realised she was standing in front of him. He leaned down to take her in his arms, whispering in her ear as he did.

'You look stunning.' He said, drawing away and sweeping his eyes over her. She wanted to kiss him so badly, but restrained herself, allowing the ceremony to start. Clara hardly listened to any of it, only caught his eyes and never looked away. She felt so strange standing at the altar with him at long last, after years of being together. As she stared up at him her only thought was how in hell did she deserve him, how was he standing next to her with a twinkle in his eyes. She loved him so much her heart was actually in pain. He smiled lovingly, stared deep down into her soul and slid the ring onto her finger.

The expression on his face took her breath away as he said 'I do,' that handsome smile making her heart ache. Vows exchanged, rings now shining proudly on each other's fingers, her hand clutching his. Behind them they heard the unmistakeable voice of Hazel babbling on to Katie, and Clara could hardly keep a straight face. They both turned to see her sitting there, and when their eyes met a huge grin spread on her face and she exclaimed loudly. 'Mama, dada!'

Everyone turned to look, laughing at her sudden interruption, making 'aw' sounds, and Clara and John both chuckled to each other.

Clara finally heard the words that pronounced them officially married, and an incredible sensation came over her, a feeling incomparable to anything else. It was extreme exultance, pure joy and relief and love that broke her face into the widest smile she could have ever imagined on her face. He bent down and kissed her, finally releasing able to release all her emotions into the kiss, arms wrapping round his neck and holding on tightly as she had intended. They clung onto each other, kissing to the point of breathless and her hand caressed his hair, uncaring of everyone watching them, of how long they were lip locked or of how awkward it might have became. All she was aware of was John. When at last they parted, foreheads touching, they laughed to each other at how much time they had taken as the audience politely clapped.

'Mr and Mrs Smith.'

The words rung in her head and she loved the way it sounded.

'Ready to get the real party started?' He asked.

'You bet.'

Taking Hazel's hand and following the guests out, the cool breeze struck her alarmingly and he put an arm around her to keep her warm, holding Hazel in the other arm. In time everyone came up to them and congratulated, until they heard Katie's voice.

'I genuinely thought you'd never break away.' She said, referring to their kiss. Clara blushed a little but blamed it on the cold.

'Married, though,' John exclaimed, as if that rendered the argument invalid, 'married now.' He repeated.

She smiled at his delight, kissing his cheek and leaning her head comfortably on his chest.

Married. The word stuck and swam in her mind, making her head spin. It was amazing, something almost incomprehensible. Everything seemed to slow down and stop as it fully clicked, and with one shared glance between the two of them she knew without hesitation it would last forever.


	25. Chapter 25

It's technically still the 16th, I just made it! Sorry about the lateness. Tomorrow's chapter will be the last.

Chapter 25

She let herself relax, loosen up over the party, John keeping by her side and making her splutter over drinks as he made one joke from the next. The dance floor was crowded and they sat at a table together, watching Katie dance with Hazel or Jake, who had come as a plus one to the party. They talked to a lot of people but overall it was quiet talk despite the booming sound of the music. Of course, they had been called up to dance first, and Clara had tried to cover up the embarrassment but as soon as she entered his embrace again she forgot about everyone and let herself sway to the music while gazing into his eyes, the particular song one that brought back nostalgia for the both of them.

'Do you remember this?' He asked.

'Of course I do. How could I forget?'

'You were drunk that night, didn't think you'd remember.'

'It would take a lot more than that to make me forget that night.'

He chuckled a little, his arms round her waist as they slow danced round the floor and he bent down to kiss her agonisingly slowly, almost in time to the music but which ravished her blissfully. They even seemed to come to a stop as he kissed her lingeringly and she opened her mouth to him, feeling the brush of his tongue explore her mouth while her hands splayed round his shoulders and up into his hair. They heard wolf whistles as they continued, the whole crowd cheering when their lips collided as the song came to an end. He was leaning over her, passion overriding them both but just about keeping it in check so they didn't completely make fools out of themselves. They parted, she straightened and even before the next song came on John lifted Hazel into his arms and carried her back over to her. They danced together, Hazel enjoying it immensely as she bounced in time to the beat upon her father's hip and waltzed around the dance floor on his shiny black shoes, which had made Clara laugh at the very sight. The crowd had filled up again on the dance floor and everyone found someone to dance with as the second slow song was played. They had handed Hazel to Dave, who had set her to rest in her buggy after all the dancing had eventually tired her out. Dancing again together his eyes had gleamed in the luminescent lights.

'So, Mrs Smith, what do you say to a two holiday to France, hm? Told you I'd make it happen.'

She laughed jovially, kissing him in gratitude and hugging him close to her and letting her head drop to his shoulder. He always found a way to impress her one way or another.

'Who's looking after Hazel and Katie?'

'Your dad.'

'God, it will be so peaceful.' She exclaimed, to which he nodded thoroughly in reply.

Her eyes wandered over the mass of couples dancing and spotted Katie by the back, arms locked around Jake. She smiled at the pair, both of them talking while swaying from spot to spot. She never thought she would ever see Katie so happy with anyone, and Jake himself looked genuinely pleased to be there with her.

'Look,' she said softly, 'Katie and Jake are over there.'

'His head turned toward the teenagers, watching as Katie leaned in closer to him and Jake laugh at something she said.

'I'm glad she's found Jake,' he said finally, 'he's a nice boy, treats her like he should. They're a good couple already, aren't they?'

'Yeah, they've been together for over a year now.'

Jake suddenly kissed her as the song ended, Katie responding just as enthusiastically.

'Well, as long as he knows that's the only thing I'll tolerate.' He said in a mockingly strict voice. She laughed, turning her eyes to him.

'Let them be. They've been together for ages, he's practically part of the family already.'

'Well, I have told you how that school of ours works. It's a whole matchmaking institution.'

'It certainly is.'

After the next song had played they returned back to their seats, rocking Hazel gently in her buggy to soothe her.

'Do you want another drink?'

'Yeah.'

He walked off to the bar and her dad stole his seat, peering a moment at Hazel before meeting her eyes with a grin.

'Have you had a good night?'

'Yeah, definitely. I still can't wrapt head round the fact I'm now married to him,' she said, turning behind her to watch him ordering drinks.

'I was the exact same. I could hardly believe it.'

'Was this with Linda or mum?'

'Your mum, of course. Had me so nervous. She would be so proud of you right now, Clara. She would have liked John a lot too.'

'Dad, as much as I know a wedding day is emotional, don't make me cry.' She chuckled, eyes already beginning to feel wet.

'Okay,' he agreed, watching as she thought deeply about her mother, a and he generously hugged her comfortingly. Luckily she wasn't crying but thinking about the life she could have had, about how she would have been there right now, was always something Clara struggled to look past, especially at occasions like this.

He smiled when she drew away, his hands placed on her shoulder. 'I'll stop talking, let you enjoy the rest of your night properly.'

'No, it's alright,' she said, sitting back down in her seat, 'I have trouble sometimes with so many memories. Tonight's not an exception.'

'I know what you mean, Clara. Almost every night, I think just a moment about her. And I love Linda a lot too but my regret was not getting you used to the idea of remarriage so soon. Maybe I did it too early, but I remember feeling so hurt I just needed someone there again, and Linda was always there for me.'

'Dad, I understand. I just never got on with Linda.'

'One of my biggest regrets,' he admitted, turning to watch Katie walk over to them, Jake's hand in hers and smiling vivaciously, 'but I know that you'll be an even better stepmother to Katie.'

She smiled at that as John came back with the drinks.

'Who said my name?' Katie asked curiously.

'I did.'

'Oh. I just wanted to you know, congrats and all that bullshit.'

'Katie!' The three of them admonished, Jake joining in.

'Sorry, I thought you were off duty.'

'We're never off duty, Katie,' John said, 'being a teacher sticks with you wherever you go.'

'Jake wants to be a...what was it again?'

'Science teacher and astrologist.'

'Basically something boring.'

They all laughed. 'Its a good profession. Are you wanting to teach at high schools, universities?' John asked.

'Yeah, I'd like to teach at universities.'

'Good choice.'

Her dad handed her two plane tickets from the inside of his jacket.

'You leave tomorrow.'

She took them in hand, looking up excitedly at John.

'He insisted he pay for most of it. Don't know why.'

'I do.' She said, watching his eyes glimmer in bemusement.

'But just in case, we need to check,' he turned to Katie, 'you don't have any gigs at all that I need to pay for, no trips or other plans that might interfere with this?'

Playing along she shook her head. 'No, no, I don't think so.'

'Good. At least we know we'll be going for definite this time.' He chuckled.

She balanced her head on his shoulder, watching everyone still dancing energetically. She couldn't wait to be in France with her husband.

••••

As soon as they had opened the door to their hotel room they were kissing each other with a wild passion they had hardly been able to show since Hazel was born and since she had been sleeping in their room. And this was the part she had been anticipating the most. John had discarded their luggage on the floor and one look at each other confirmed what they were both thinking. His arms were suddenly wrapped round her body and his lips were crushing hers with a driving force that had accumulated most likely with lust. With a teenager, a one year old and a dedicating job alone time was as something as simple as having a cup of tea than bedroom activity. With a fervent force she didn't know she possessed she pushed him up against the wall and let her hands explore. His eagerness matched hers equally and he impatiently removed his shirt and bow tie. Clara pulled him closer to her, looking down at his thin and pale chest as he smiled seductively at her. Unable to resist she flattened herself flush against him, grinding onto him, satisfied with herself when he moaned into her mouth. She pressed a little harder until it became too much for the both of them and John lifted her legs round his waist and kissed a butterfly trail round her neck and down to the neckline of her dress. Her eyes almost rolled up into her skull as she looked up to the ceiling and challenged herself with considering a heaven even remotely compatible with this sensation. His lips on her skin was something she had craved particularly and she let out a small gasp as his mouth grazed her ear. His hands were fondling her thighs and she could feel the desire burn exactly where she wanted him, needed him. Her lips attached to his and cupped both his cheeks with exigency. She flicked her shoes from her feet, feeling his hands slowly unzip the back of her dress and let it slide down her shoulders in a most appealing way. His lips sucked at the sensitive flesh at the side of her neck and she threw her head back instantly in response as another moan came over her. He began walking forward, carrying her to the edge of the bed where he lowered her down into the sheets and slowly climbed over her on all fours, making Clara giggle from beneath him. He impatiently cast away her dress and she in return fiddled with the buttons on his trousers and eventually everything else. Skin on skin, pants and breaths singing out in unison like a chorus. Her hands roamed south and grasped him fully to where he elicited a loud groan in encouragement. He was already hard and twitching under the influence of her touch. Smiling teasingly she began to stroke him, observing the flustered look on his face and she squeezed harder, stimulating something of a sound halfway between a sigh and a groan. It made her want him more than anything, and that burning desire was quashed gratifyingly when she guided him to her entrance, letting him plunge deep inside her with a heavy exhale of breath. She loved the way he looked, hair ruffled, face red with exertion and that look of pleasure on his. Her fingernails dug deep into his back as his fingers tugged on her hair and he thrust deeper and harder, making her whimper. She sighed in contentment, realising how much she had missed it and just how good it was. His tongue drove deeper into her mouth and a battle of domination came into play as she rolled him on his back so she was on top of him. She sank down on him, rocking fast against him and hitting that sweet spot that drive the both of them crazy. His thrusts met hers, hands squeezing her breasts and she loved the way their hips aligned to each others, her hands anchoring into his hair for support. He stared at her through hooded eyes as he thrust deeper into her and her breaths became ragged. He whispered her name into her ear, making her shudder as the wave of her orgasm finally rolled over her in a burst of bittersweet sensation and John let out a gravelly moan as his own hit him at the same moment. It felt amazing, better than she had ever remembered and love coursed through her as she collapsed atop him. He smiled at her in admiration, a grin that sent her heart pounding against her chest even faster than it already was. His cosseting arms wrapped round her body and he kissed her head as her eyes closed in delight.

'Fourteen nights of this, I know what heaven is.' He said, making her smile.

'It was even better than I remembered.'

'Maybe because last time was a huge rush. We only had five minutes until your dad dropped Hazel back.'

She grinned wickedly at the memory. 'Now that's something I remember very well.' She giggled.

'But we have all the time in the world here, no one to disrupt us, no demands and no work, just you and me,' he stroked her hair, and Clara smiled sleepily, revelling in how comfortable and warm his chest was.

'God, I love you, John.'

He looked down at her. 'I love you too.' He replied, lifting her chin to kiss her lingeringly, tenderly, consecrate every part of her mouth with his touch. She moaned into his mouth lightly, and his chuckle exhilarated her.

'Round two?'

'Uh huh.' Was all she could utter as he turned her over into the sheets.

Everyone was waiting for them, her father grinning, holding Hazel in his arms and Katie standing by their side. She grinned, walking faster to them and immediately taking Hazel, her little arms and legs swinging.

'Mama back.'

'We missed you so much.' She said, holding onto her tighter. John embraced Katie and then took Hazel as she greeted her dad, hugging him too.

'Did you have a good time?'

'Yeah, it was brilliant, but we couldn't wait to get home to all of you.'

'I bet it was nice to get a bit of peace, though.'

'As much as we loved it, it was just too quiet.' She laughed.

'Did you see any sights?' Katie asked as she hugged her. Clara met John's eyes in silent understanding. They had seen the beach, the pool, some of the shops but had mostly stayed inside.

'Well, it was a much more of a pool and beach holiday.'

'Ah.'

'Have you been good?'

'Of course I have.' She said indignantly. Clara looked at her dad for confirmation.

He laughed as he replied. 'Yeah, they've both been good, Katie's helped out. Hazel missed you a lot though, asked everyday when you were coming back.'

'Aww,' John exclaimed, jogging Hazel on his hip, 'we thought about you everyday. In fact, we got you some presents out there.'

'Dad, do you mind driving back? We're both really tired out.'

'No problem.' He agreed.

They walked out of the airport, Katie asking questions and Hazel rambling on about something to John, she knew that however nice it was to get away, it was even better being back with her family.


	26. Chapter 26

Last chapter. Big thank you to everyone who read, reviewed, favourited and followed this story.

Chapter 26

The view hadn't changed. The soft orange glow of a summer sunset warmed her back, accompanied by the spitting flames heating up their hands. It wasn't particularly cold, but they had blankets wrapped round them. She remembered the very first time she had been there, back when she was arrogant and naive. She remembered her dad saying his dream was to return back with the whole family, something she had despised at the time. They had come every summer, watched the orange glow turn into a starry night and the peacefulness of the evening send them slowly to sleep.

She looked around at everyone, marshmallows melting on sticks waving teasingly by the fire. John had his arm around Clara exactly the same way he had the first time, both of them talking quietly to each other and their eyes trained on the view beyond the rocky cliff. Her father had streaks of silver in his hair but he still looked as young as he always had, an impish grin and boyish features. Clara was the same, retaining her youth in her large, brown eyes but hair gradually fading too. Hazel was sat on her phone, occasionally laughing at it and eating messily like she always had. Some of John's traits really had passed onto her but she was mostly an adolescent Clara in looks. Tommy and Jordan were fooling around with the stones, throwing them over the edge just as John used to do as a boy, and as they did he kept a running commentary for them. The twins in particular were a lot like her when she was younger, and now still. While Tommy was his father in looks he had Clara's short stature and his brother just towered over him. Jordan was much more like his mother but had inherited the floppy hair look from John. She leaned into Jake, his strong arms round her chest and he had started a conversation with Clara. She stared down at the silver ring on her finger, smiling once again incredulously. They had made the announcement of their engagement and it had gone much better than she had thought. For some reason it had made her nervous to the point of embarrassed. She thought maybe it was her youthful mind telling her she wasn't allowed, like her parents would have stopped it like she had nearly stopped theirs years ago.

But Clara had been the first to embrace her with congratulations, telling her she knew it would happen at some point. And then all her siblings had too, although the twins started asking weird questions. She had broken the news to her real mother too, and she now visited her every month. Jake looked down at her, and she couldn't help the scream inside her whenever he looked at her like that.

Soon enough they had all launched into memories of the past, Katie recounting them all with laughter.

'Can you remember the time we played cards, mum?'

'Yep. Stormed out, didn't you? In the very caravan we're staying in now,' she laughed, 'you were a bit too competitive.'

'Oh jeez, yeah, I remember that first camping trip. Nothing short of a disaster.' John joined in.

'And the time Hazel sprained her leg?'

'Yeah, you really had us worried then, we thought you'd broken it because you...how old was she?'

'Just turned seven.' Clara said.

'Yeah. You've always been clumsy like me, Hazel.'

She smiled like she was proud of the fact. 'It's my greatest asset.'

'Tell us a story we don't know.' Tommy piped up, finally plonking down next to her.

John looked at Clara, trying to think of one to tell.

'All I really can think of was how stressful it was living with Katie at the time.' He said.

'Hey, it wasn't that bad!' She proclaimed.

'You used to really give us the run-around when you were younger.' He replied. Jake laughed at her.

'You've never told me any of this!' He said, already intrigued and looking to Clara and John for more.

'Because those were my awful and shameful days.' She said, burrowing her head in embarrassment.

'Were you with me at the time?'

'Yeah, I just never told you.'

'Right, I want to hear these stories,' he decided, 'how bad was she?'

'Yeah, I want to know too!' Jordan said.

'Oh god. Why is everyone picking on me.'

'Because we really do have some amazing stories about you.' John laughed, 'she actively went out of her way to separate us.'

'What?!' Jake exclaimed, as her head buried even deeper in shame and everyone laughed in incredulity.

'And she did,' Clara carried on, 'four months.'

She could feel everyone's stare on her and she was almost laughing nervously at the situation as she finally raised her head.

'I did get you back together, though, didn't I?' She replied in her defence.

'Yeah, that's true.'

'And when you had that huge house party that drove both of us mad.'

'Oops.' She admitted.

'The house was a wreck.'

'Don't get any ideas.' Clara pointed to the twins. They smiled innocently but she knew the look of a plan of action when she saw one. It always came in useful when Jake was trying to be deceptive.

'Okay, that's enough about me.'

They all laughed. Katie saw the opportunity and went with it to get back at them.

'Can you remember when mum broke your CD's and she had to buy all of them again to stop you noticing?'

John turned toward Clara. 'You didn't!'

Now Clara looked embarrassed. 'Uh, yeah.' She confessed.

He smiled, leaning into her. 'It's alright, I knew all along.'

'What?'

'Clara, you got all the wrong ones. But it's okay, I forgive you.' He laughed.

'So are we apologising for things we did fifteen years ago?'

'I guess so.'

'Dad, remember the time you set yourself on fire?' Hazel giggled.

'Oh my god, that was funny,' Clara laughed, 'but terrifying at the same time.'

'You whacked me so hard with that towel you gave me bruises.'

She listened to everyone's reminiscences, smiling at particular ones she remembered clearly and contributing occasionally. When the conversation had finally dissipated John looked up at Jake.

'Just going to check, you're sure you want to be part of the crazy Smith family? I think we'd understand if you didn't want to.' He chuckled.

'Yeah, I'm sure.' He grinned down at her.

'Hey guys, look, the moon's finally out!' John said, and they all crowded round to watch the sky turn an even inkier black and moonlight cast spidery shadows across everyone's faces.

She saw Clara and John laughing together and a warm feeling flooded her chest. She was so glad that she had seen sense back then and got them back together, that they had gotten married and done everything they wanted to, because she couldn't imagine anyone ever daring to try do that with her and Jake. And she understood now. Clara really was the nicest and most incredible person to be around, and someone she had developed a huge trust for. Which was why she called her mum instead of Clara, because she had always been there. She could only imagine what her younger self would have said to her now. Her dad had been poorly treated by her teenage actions too, and she really did regret saying and doing some things that were unfair and spiteful. But they had forgiven her straight away, which had given her a positive attitude to morals and life. And without that she probably wouldn't even be sitting there with her family.

Clara said something to him, which made him smile and gently lean forward to kiss her.

That was something she wanted, love unconditional even in old age, exactly like John and Clara's.

Jake saw her staring, and caught her attention. She smiled at him and his head touched hers as he slowly kissed her, his hand cupping her cheek. And she realised she'd already found it.


End file.
